Bad Feeling

I have a feeling that something really wrong is going to happen today. That despite whatever evidence I have and reason for continuance, that I'm not going to get it. I want to be optimistic and in a just world, there are no grounds for refusing continuance and no need to doubt I am coming back to Wenatchee either.

But I am concerned.

One thing is that a certain person gave me a passage from a book which was intended for me to read, about a man who goes to jail for something they didn't do and is refused a fair trial. In the end, at least in this story, there is a good ending and outcome and something comes to light.

But I don't know that this will happen with me. If this is stacked against me the way it's been, I don't think I will get fair trial or reasonable chance to discuss things with my lawyer when I'm feeling well and not sick.

I just have a feeling this is going to be to keep me from my son permanently and prevent me from filing anything about other matters.

It doesn't seem possible, but I just think the way things have been for me in Wenatchee and with that system, I may not even get a simple continuance or be able to be taken at my word that I am going back.

We'll see, but I can tell someone is praying for me and this means either something really bad has happened and people are praying and concerned, or something turned out. I feel, if there is this much praying, it must be to counter the effects of something bad coming my way which I may not have been able to even defend myself against.

I could be totally wrong, but I feel it.

It is okay. If this is what happens, I have nothing to be ashamed of myself because I've done nothing wrong. I feel at peace at least, because to go to jail or have any allegations made which are false, is, in a way, an honor. If that's what happens, I join the ranks of hundreds and thousands of innocent people who are sent to jail or prison or otherwise have their records tarnished when they never got a defense.

What is tragic is that it would directly affect my case with my son and my ability to prove that the whole thing was wrong because everyone knows in an appeal, you can bring out all the evidence like it's a new trial. If I'm in jail that's not going to happen.

So I would not be surprised at all that this is what the stage is set for.

I hardly think anyone in Wenatchee could handle my healthcare appropriately if I were stuck there without the ability to get outside assistance.

I do know I have people who believe in me. Who know what's going on isn't right. So that's somewhat comforting. If it's out of my hands, it's out of my hands. I can say I've done my best as someone who is drastically outnumbered and outresourced and yet I still retain my own dignity and sense of worth. I am proud of myself. For holding up and being strong through incredible things, and for not breaking down.

I am thankful to God for preparing me to be strong when I was very young and giving me a sense of purpose and faith.

Something that came to mind right after I felt the prayers of others, was "God Defends the Right." I tried to remember where I heard this and then recalled, it's the motto for Princess Diana's crest. No, I'm not obsessed, but I've done a little research for her case, that's all. But that is how I feel, that no matter what others may do, they can never steal your spirit.

We may be ...torn on all sides...but this...

What quote is this from? some president. I'll have to look it up. Either Lincoln or Washington.

Oh! It's not from a President. It's from The Bible:

"We Are Hard Pressed from Every Side

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. (2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NIV)"

But I think maybe a President used this quote in some kind of speech that included something about "...this great republic..." I'll look again.