No Period This Month

Alvaro left, and my periods returned. They were increasingly hemmorhagic wiht zero clots and not like usual periods. They were just a lot of bright red blood.

Then I was getting shocked by whatever at the house in Wenatchee. More things happened. I lied on my blog to say I was in menopause to see what reactions might be or if anything happened.

For the first time since Wenatchee, I have had these health problems again, and then no period this month.

No period at all. I WAS having periods when I said I wasn't. Which might make it seem less noticeable, if this were the case, if I didn't have certain indicators something was wrong with my body.

So no period this month, though I had a migraine before the time I should get one and then I'm having a migraine now, which should be the one after, and yet I had zero bleeding. Absolutely no period.

What I had instead was very bad rectal bleeding which was unusual and then the cigarettes which left me with a metallic taste in my mouth and other problems. One came from "Tiffany" and another from another guy. If I ate something which precipitated cigarettes, I don't know. After tasting the metallic bit in a second cigarette, I threw it out after two puffs.

I think I may need to fill in some things which I haven't mentioned.

I don't want myself and my son to suffer any longer, and I've been put through the mill. I attempt peace, and I try to apologize, and I try to "turn the tide" and I've done whatever was within my power, I thought, to try to remedy whatever is wrong, and to make amends for myself.

It obviously isn't working.

I don't think there is anything I could do to try to negotiate or try to fix this. And I am pretty sure I know where it's stemming from at this point.

I am just one person who has not been forgiven, who has never been given the benefit of a doubt, whom some hate so much that they would go to cruel lengths to try to screw with my life and the lives of those I love.

I cannot imagine there has ever been anything I've done which was so horrible and greivious when all I did was believe in free speech, and believe that no one would care much about what I had to say. Instead, I'm treated like a big danger to society or to particular religions, or groups, when I find it very difficult to understand why any group would punish me for simply bringing the "truth", or what I believed personally to be the truth, into articulation.

I think I have done some things which, after I was harassed so long, yes, were then personal attacks on some individuals. However, it's not like no one was asking for a tongue lashing.

I have been depicted as self-righteous and yet the very same people go about doing horrendous things, and believe it is all justified, because they sincerely believe what they are doing is "righteous". Who has the greater ego?

I am tired of this. I am tired of the threats, and the bullying, and the attempts to silence me, intimidate me, crush me, rub out my spirit, ostrasize me, and I'm tired of being subject to physical threats to my health.

I've had several attempts on my life, and plenty of harassment inbetween, and for WHAT?

My words are sticks and stones?

I had people seriously believing I was "related" to Dan, the author "The Da Vinci Code" and then recently had someone tell me I wouldn't die for this or that, but if I continued to "undermine the Catholic church" (or, I guess, other groups which think they've been undermined).

I don't give a RIP, yes, R.I.P., about the catholic church or any other church and where it's going or what it's application is to my life except that some serious fanatics have serious issues.

It's not healthy for them and I'm tired of insecurity of others affecting my life.

I've been "insulted" too, and believe me, my damages have been FAR greater. And yet this continues to persist, and I get no rest from it.

This guy told me recently, most people would "take the easy way out" like kill themselves.

I'm sick of it.

If you want to screw up your OWN lives, you already have. You have wasted time and energy on me that was never even worth your time, and if you have any religious leaning whatsoever, your actions have been directly in contradiction to your religious vows, beliefs, and doctrines.

This is not the Middle Ages and this I am not a worthy cause for a crusade.

This isn't grade school either.

You take your objections and you throw them into the sea of forgiveness, or onto the altar of the blood of Christ, or whatever you do to rid oneself of sin and guilt and grudges. If you're agnostic or atheist, you just take good logic and sense into consideration and say it's time to move on and that all of this trouble isn't worth it.

I don't know any secrets of national importance. That's a bunch of B.S. I don't know any secrets of the drug world either, and yet I've had people purposefully antagonize those who are involved, to think I DO and to go against me as well.

What I know is that people who have religious or big business influence, have used their connections with military and law enforcement and the justice system, to screw with my life and to directly HARM, even physically, me and my son.

There is no justification.

Not unless you are going back to some kind of primal bacterial life form that has no conscience or will to do anything other than corrupt and absorb and consume the other bacterium in the tray.

I don't know what you're f---in' issues are, but GET A GRIP.

The only people telling me not to blog are the same ones who have something to hide, and who don't want me to write about them or the shit they've put me through over the years. No one else even gives a damn.

In the name of God, give yourselves up.