Considering Medication Due To CPS Actions

I am considering going on something for anxiety due to the latest by CPS.

I fought and did whatever I could to go to their mandated services, which they stalled on for a year, and the whole time I've been deprived of a lawyer until I was told I had to take one and then she withdrew after getting paid.

The anxiety I have now is not even due to all the harassment and people stealing things, or trying to cause problems, and even poison me.

The anxiety I have now is that CPS cut off visitation without getting a court order from the Judge first, when it broke my heart to be away from him to have to get a protective order and then police advice and legal counsel and then, also, having to fight to stay alive while I was so ill.

I called CPS every time and told them not to have the state monitor pick him up because I didn't want him to get there and be disappointed. I told my aunt every time, too, when I wouldn't be there and why and what was going on.

I asked CPS and my own family for help with a ticket to get back to Wenatchee when I thought I was able to get back and CPS stalled and then finally put one out but then I was bleeding internally. Then my own family refused to do anything, at all.

But supposedly, they all want me to have my son back.

Doing this to my son, when I didn't "leave" him but was only going to an appointment that was court ordered and then TRYING to get back SAFELY, is wrong.

I made every decision on the basis of being physically sick and unsafe and I went to police about it and legal counsel and even pastoral counsel. I tried to get work too, but several times I almost had the job and then someone would come in and say seomthing and I lost it. That is not my fault.

At this point, I am being asked to go before the court with nothing, because I have no money, and it's not that I haven't been trying, and now they're trying to hold my missed visists against my son. They also say I am drug using because I missed some of those visits but I'm not and they know exactly what I'd do with the money if I had it--I'd get a hair analysis done to prove it.

As for things I've done proactively, I've tried to protect myself and my son,

I got into temporary housing for women until I have more money,
I got my unemployment application filed,
I filed a FAFSA,
I took care of urgent medical needs and I'm still waiting for tests to come back,
I looked for work and applied for work almost every day,
I insisted on getting the psych eval done, and there is nothing wrong on the MMPI