Music Today & prayers

Tramaine Hawkins came to my mind so that's who I chose to listen to. She's a Christian singer but I didn't want to listen to generic stuff and I used to listen to Tramaine, who is this incredible gospel singer. The first song was "Who is He?" which I know by heart so I sang it out loud. I just feel like singing today. I like her live stuff best. The woman wails and is often just accompanied by simple instrumentals like piano and drums and that's it. I guess it's a little embarrassing I like her, because she's straight from the 80s.

People who came to mind, who I said a quick prayer for while listening, were, first, R.J.R. I don't know why. Then it was the towncar driver in D.C. who knows who he is, the one with the hat. Then my ex, A. Something is going to change with him but I don't know what it is. I just know it's true and that it's for good. Sometimes I just know certain things but I don't know why or what it's about.

I took some time to just listen to music and allow people to come to mind to pray for and it took up a lot of time. I didn't pray anything specific, I just saw the faces and names and let this energy or spirit wash over all over them. I don't know how to explain it. But I haven't felt this much power in a very long time, a spiritual power that is very good and it is sort of like a ton of people praying all at the same time for me and I prayed that blessings would go back to every one that was praying for me or thinking of me. There were a few people who, when I saw their faces, the energy or what I would have called "the Holy Spirit" in younger days, was so strong it was kind of heady.

I really cannot describe it except to say something is happening. For the last hour and a half or more.

I wish I could describe it. But I didn't really pray, exactly, just meditated on people and felt it was being sent out.

All kinds of people came before me, those who have been good to me and bad to me, and even those I've never met personally.

Had one image flash before me, in the mind's eye, of a man with dark hair, in a red T-shirt, falling down on his knees and calling out to God, and it seemed like it was at a catholic church but I don't know. It was a hard floor and I thought church but could have maybe been somewhere else. I could not see a face. It had something to do with me, not against me, and it was a petition to God.

When I prayed or allowed faces to come before me in a meditative state, I prayed for all Judges I've known, in Oregon and Washington, and also for attorneys, gang groups of all kinds which I may have come across, Rabbi Rose and his family, The Thebault's, The Bechtolds, Mike Nichol's family, Schneiders, Barnes, catholics in general, jews in general, my friends I've known since I was 15 years old and their families, doctors and medical professionals in Wenatchee and others in Oregon and Washington, and my own family. I also prayed for some people whom I've never known personally. Sometimes I would get to a particular face and the feeling was very strong, the sense of power from prayer I mean. I don't know how to describe it. I also prayed for the FBI offices and employees across the U.S., law enforcement in general and police including Sgt. Austria and some other individuals in particular. I prayed for the Colombians I got to meet and for people I used to work with.

It took a long time but it didn't seem like that long. I wasn't praying specifically, it was more like allowing people to flash before my eyes or mind and then pass them onto God.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I prayed for the English royal family too. I don't know why but probably because the diana stuff is in my mind sometimes. When I prayed for Charles, I felt a strong sense of power, and even with Camilla. With Will, I sensed a sadness for some reason, not to do with me, and then not so much sadness when I prayed for Harry.

I also prayed for younger people and older people I saw about when I was in San Francisco last. Rich and not so rich.

Then I called my mom and we agreed to pray together for something between the two of us.

I also asked her about whether anyone in the family was in intel, out of curiosity. She doesn't know anything about it but I don't think she would. She can't keep secrets really, sort of like me, but I've kept a couple minor ones.

I also asked about the other guy who had my Dad's exact same name who lived in the same area. I was wondering about this for some reason today because their names were exactly the same, Robert Guy Garrett Jr. I mean, it's not even that common of a name. Not the Guy or Jr. combo at least.

So I found out there were even more similarities with them. My Dad was in Soap Lake and the other guy in Moses Lake and then both my Dad and this guy lived in the same time. Also, the one guy was into motorcycles and horses and some kind of cowboy and I guess fits the physical description of my Dad. Then, what's weird, is he got involved with christian youth group ministry stuff, like my parents did. And, he became a minister, a Lutheran one, where my Dad was an assistant to the pastor for a Presby church for a short time. I guess the one guy had a wife named Sue but I think they divorced. I was sort of curious about this other guy.

I also prayed for people I met on the East Coast. Some names I don't know, but when a face came to mind, I prayed for them. Lots of people. Even from Amarillo, TX. Photographers, Associated Press people, Washington Post people, women who came in and said I made mistakes I didn't make, M.R. who waited for me patiently and who I had a good Italian "battle" with that ended in an offer to toast with wine, some doctors who came in, people who came through the line at Java, Payam and fam, woman with the twin stroller outside of the Pub, the Irish priest, the military guy sitting in the back when I got the "death threat" on a napkin, that guy, the officers who came out for the report, coworkers there and other places of work, M.C. in birch bay even though, the cindy guys at the oil refinery whom I loved, my former bosses, cyndy and son, border people, canada people, shannon, carrie, karin, bruce, back to canada RCMP man in car asking for my story bc he cared and knew--still haven't forgotten that face. jennifer and truck group. tiffany, and my old friend sarah from ctr (for some reason comes to mind),

I love this song by Richard Smallwood, "Center of my Joy"--it reminds me of New Song days in Oregon, a black/white gospel church I went to with good black gospel music. I really like Kurt Carr's "They Didn't Know". I haven't heard this version yet. It's very moving.

"forgive them, father, for they know not what they do" was a verse that came to my mind today.

Wow. This is one decent guy. First time I've heard him, and he's got a great voice and tight rhythm. Deitrick Haddon's "Ain't Got Nothing". Really like this guy. I like Mahaliah Jackson too. Haha! I love this one, "The Mighty Clouds Of Joy": What About The Price. It's like a 70s style one.

I have a LOT to be thankful for today. I am really, really, thankful today. It has been a very good day. I spent almost the whole day meditating and praying and listening to gospel music and thinking about...well, it's sinking in still, that I'm alive. I mean, I SAW SHOCKED looks on faces when I was walking around in Seattle. It was like "What the HELL?" I was supposed to be dead. Thank you so much and I'm so glad that I have an opportunity to get to the place of forgiving others who wished harm for me and for the chance to forgive myself too. I am indebted to God and yes, I believe in Jesus Christ, and to some special people.

I feel pretty good. I have a couple more hypopigmentation spots but things seem fine. My period quit like normal. It was a fully normal period. The last one was totally abnormal, bright bright red and fluid and lasted way too long. I was just bleeding too long. This was an absolutely normal period again. It is SO weird but I'm glad. Sorry, period talk, but I think of it in a more scientific way. I always thought Katie Couric's colonoscopy made public was so awful and then look at the stuff I write.

John P. Kee's I-C-U is good too. I don't listen to gospel a lot anymore but when I do, I like it. It's been a long time.