Now that he's gone, and I've gone as far as I want to go in stringing him along for info, I will write about part of what happened in Maryland. I can elaborate on details later.
I was not able to work at that time, because of miscarriage and assault and back issues, and I went through all my savings. I didn't have anything. I didn't even have enough to get back to Wenatchee and CPS was only offering a RT bus ticket all the way there, which would have killed me, with my herniated discs and everything.
So, I met Alvaro and the Colombians right after asking for help online. I got "help" sort of, but it was nickel and dime and would have done me more harm than good. At first, like I said, I was offered all these things and being set up like a Queen. Then, after saying I didn't want to be a spy and refusing to kiss Alvaro, I was downgraded.
I was offered money in exchange for marrying Alvaro, but the thing was, it was hardly any money. And then it was trying to get me as cheap as possible and using me like a burro to keep him in the states. He wanted to work here and then showed me papers from immigration, U.S. immigration, which showed his Visa was expiring. It could have all been a set up because while my relationship with Alvaro was real, I was later propositioned by that other federal guy, Pete Garrity, after Alvaro knew I was going to the Hyattsville courthouse.
So, I was desperate, which is what makes for a good stool pigeon you see. Alvaro had viewed, even in Wenatchee, a posting for a woman who was listing herself as "Desperate Single Mom" after he showed up here and found out I had voided our marriage application. I think he knew the marriage app. was voided before he came out here. There's no way he didn't know. He came out anyway to make it look like he actually cared about me and wasn't a bad guy.
So he knew I had absolutely nothing over there, which doesn't leave me much to bargain with. I was trapped. I had no place to live, no ability to work, and I was in very serious pain. Seriously, I hurt very bad with the assault and the miscarriage complications. No one from the U.S. did anything to help me and instead I was being set up and framed to go to jail for marriage or immigration fraud. Because of the way Alvaro was recognized at the courthouse, I believed he was a dual agent or just decided to be undercover for the U.S. if he wasn't in the mafia. I don't know, but he was dirty. That doesn't mean I didn't love him or that I take back anything that I did for him. What I did for him, I did in full knowledge of how he tried to trap me, use me, keep me from getting my son back, and keep me from getting things straightened out in Hyattsville. He also tried to keep me from getting diagnostics I needed, painkillers, and surgery. He kept using the excuse that it would be "bad" for getting my son back but I needed them legitimately and it showed pain and suffering which is really what someone didn't want maybe.
They knew no one else was helping me and that my family wasn't helping me. They made sure I had no other source of income or ability to get anything before pressuring me.
So when I was trapped, I was told to either agree to marry and get some money out of it, or be turned out on the street. He put me in a hotel twice, with absolutely nothing and I had to ask him for money to eat with. He gave me $6.
I had different people coming up to me, promising to help me and then they'd back out. Whenever I left the house or was somewhere else, some guy was approaching me with some kind of "deal" and giving me something and then taking it back, to make a point and just harass me. So then I finally asked for a loan. I said I wanted to work first and then it would look better if I married Alvaro because no one could say I was entrapped and did it out of desperation.
So I asked for a small honest loan and to work first. They said no. They said I had to get married.
There were different times I felt just like Thumbelina. So one shady character after the other too. Alvaro and his boss weren't harming me really, but I was being manipulated to play their game and in the end, I could have ended up hurt. But I had to be smart and play along.
So I fucking played along.
I played along to survive and to try to get the bare essentials until I could fix the situation with my son. After I was put in a hotel with nothing, off of a freeway, and Alvaro said I could either be with him or have nothing, I told him I'd marry.
I was going to get $2,300 before signing the marriage application. I was getting another $2,500 after the marriage and then more after that. I was within legal rights to marry and take money and there was enough of a real relationship. But the thing is, I wonder if that's when someone decided they couldn't set me up with this one so they tried to start something clean where Garrity came in. Alvaro was using his phone when he talked to me about financial arrangements but never when he was with me normally or intimately. So it's possible that if he wanted to claim that someone else was his girlfriend, he had no relationship with me and I guess he could have set me up that way, just by lying and pretending it was something it wasn't, in trying to frame me.
After all they put me through, and the humiliation and the entrapment, and distress in isolating me and then pressuring me, and taking the car away whenever I needed to file something in court or was attempting to...
After I was left in a hotel with NOTHING, like a fucking hostage, I decided that was never going to happen again.
I said I'd sign the marriage application. So we got there and there were lawyers waiting and men watching and noting me when I went in with Alvaro. Alvaro was pissed more than once, when I backed down, and once, I had all the money in my HANDS and I backed out entirely. I said no and gave the money back.
Second time around, after being put in a hotel while still medically unstable and in pain, I decided I was going to "sign" but take the money. I didn't know how to do it I didn't know how I'd be paid. Once, it was in two different checks, one made out to my name. I could have ran, with $1,000 and taken off with that cash. I didn't and Alvaro took the check back and tore it in two after getting actual cash and then asking for it back.
So I didn't premeditate anything. I had no exact plan, it was all going with the moment of what happened. The whole thing was a fucking plan and I felt I was being set up maybe even by the CIA to see how I'd react, after all the spy questions and shit. Or, it could have all been dirty to start. i didn't know who was with what but I had a feeling A. worked for the U.S. in some way.
I told him I'd sign and in the car he gave me the money and I told him I'd always been true to my word. Which was fucking right on true.
LOL. The song on right now is "Take a bow, go your way, it's okay (go on, go on, the stars are watching...)" which is crazy because it talks about getting off of the yellow brick road and ending with $9 which is exactly what it ended with. The last money Alvaro gave me was $9 for lunch.
Anyway, I had my history of honesty to back me up and they all knew I'd been loyal and followed through. So I, for once in my life, played like Machiavelli, lying only when needed, and being honest 99% of the time so my credibility would assist when I really needed to lie for a good reason.
Before I agreed to this, I broke down one night, screaming at Alvaro in the car and yelling "I OWN THIS FUCKING BUSINESS!!!!" and I took the reins from him and said to drive me over so we could get the fucking money. Then I wrote that crazy poem which sounds like I'm some kind of dominatrix. I was PISSED and I wrote that at the table from the house where I was getting the money and being refused a loan. I also sobbed. One night, at the house, after saying the first time I couldn't marry him and handing back the ring, I sobbed all night and Alvaro was so nervous, saying "I'm not your enemy." Yeah right fucker. The crazy thing is that I could tell he loved me, even as he was doing this to me. I could see it in his eyes. I used the fact that I'd handed back the ring as proof that I could be trusted to get the money upfront.
So Alvaro made "arrangements" and then we were on our way. I was handed the money and I put it in my purse. With my heart racing, going into the courthouse, I made a spur of the moment decision. I hadn't expected to necessarily get cash before the courthouse so I had to figure out what to do next because there was no prior plan.
We went through security and Alvaro steered to the room and I said I really needed to use the restroom first. So I went and was nervously trying to figure out what to do. There was no place to put the money and I didn't know what to do, but I was stalling until I came up with an idea. So I left the bathroom and then told Alvaro that I was going to the library upstairs first and I'd be right back. He watched me going up the escalator and I smiled and waved with a finger out like "I'll be right back!"
I went to a lawyer who was there. I asked if someone could get in trouble taking money for a marriage with an alien if there was an actual relationship. She said she didn't recommend it and to stop talking right then and there. It didn't sound good. I didn't want to get into trouble. They were all saying it was just the app and just do it and take the money. But I didn't even want to sign the application, on principle. I didn't WANT to.
I left the office and brain racing, went into an empty room where there was a bookcase and a bunch of books stacked in tightly. I took the risk of leaving money behind. I pulled out Volume 7, I don't know why, but #7 specifically, and inserted the full amount. I had closed the door to the room and made sure there were no cameras in the room. Then I left, noticing a man hanging around the corner looking at me nervously.
I went downstairs and it was already about 4 p.m. and the court closed at 4:30 p.m. I exclaimed to Alvaro that the money was missing, that someone had stolen my money! I was panicked sounding and he freaked out. He asked where and I said I'd left my purse on the counter and went upstairs to talk to a lawyer and that was it. I said someone had stolen it but I didn't know when. I said, "All my things are being stolen and this isn't the first time." Because for one thing, I had only $100 on me when I was dumped at the hotel and then THAT was stolen by a housekeeper when I left it behind on my way to Starbucks. I had told a couple people it was all I had. So then I had nothing. I told Alvaro someone didn't want us to get married and I thought it was some kind of gang or mafia.
He made me go into the women's restroom and stripsearched me, pulling down my pants, checking my shoes, and everything. I asked him WHAT he was DOING?!!!!! I went to the car with him and we searched. He said he was going back to the bank to get more money and get this done and then looked at the time. Then all of a sudden, he backtracked and claimed he HAD NO money and did this very fake dramatic thing of saying "My hijo!" and said all the money he'd worked for in his life. It was a fucking set up and I knew it.
I saw people staring from out of upstairs courthouse windows. Some of those people may have thought they were nailing me. Not only that, I knew something was very wrong because my favorite Colombian woman didn't want to be a part of it but she somehow knew. Adrianna. I saw her expression after I said I was marrying. The food for that celebration was Mexican not Colombian. I noticed and they all seemed surprised the chicana knew the difference. Of course the white girl knows. But I saw Adrianna's face, like she was alarmed and worried but wasn't saying anything. She didn't want to be too close either at that time. I was just picking up on stuff. I even wondered if Henry was against the union after maybe seeing I was fairly honest if not always kind of helpful. I HAD been loyal the whole time, and then I was honestly looking out for him. Truly, I showed my colors, after a massive humiliation, I was looking out for Alvaro in spite of all the crap. I cared. He cared too, but he cared more about "winning this game".
Sometimes, knowing I was in severe pain, he would pressure me to marry before he paid for any of the medication. He paid, probably only out of the idea he was getting something out of me. This was really not the way to winning my heart. Hmmph!
So all these people were lined up and around, and the more I was deprived of my free will, the more I thought of strategies to use them as they were using me and find a way to get out. I started to get a little scared towards the end, after the money went missing, so I began kissing him. I was sort of really scared. Once, his arm was on mine and I saw some white guy being held hostage and Alvaro freaked out about it like I'd hit on something. I wondered what the hell I could have hit on and I just wondered sometimes.
So we left because we spent all our time looking for money. He yelled at me for not signing but I told him it wasn't my fault we arrived when we did and that the money was stolen. Once we were back at the house, he dumped out my entire purse. He took his SIM card that I'd taken from his phone the first few days I was with him. Forgive me father, for this SIM. Yes, I did it. The DOD and CIA contact guy told me he didn't want a SIM after I was so desperate months later and trying to get out of the situation. He said it meant nothing and I burst into tears saying I needed money. I asked him what he wanted. I told him I needed money. He just walked around and told me not to get involved. But that man always had one eye on me. He told me he couldn't help me while I was involved with anyone from Colombia because he'd have to report it and it's just messy. He said some people have to report even talking to a waitress for a few minutes if they're from certain countries and it's a headache. I wasn't going to break up with A. for nothing and not even a promise that was uncertain. Alvaro was at least a "sure" thing when it came to being serious about giving me money in exchange for something, even if it wasn't enough. Had it been a total of $50,000 and met all my legal costs and expenses, sure. I might marry for the hell of it, protect my son on the side and get the hell out, if it meant getting my son back and the benefitst outweighed the risks. But I always thought about risk and did nothing, even I contemplated some things, that could backfire. I am not in a position, as a mother who cares about being a mother and not being a spy, to gamble. Funny thing I'm learning to play poker now.
Alvaro found the SIM but he didn't tell me about it. He just took it and I noticed it wasn't there. Then it reappeared at some date later. He slipped it back and I found it. I noticed.
He kept accusing me of taking the money and I burst out laughing. I couldn't stop laughing. I told him I was just nervous and couldn't believe I was laughing because I needed the money. Before we went back home, I contemplated leaving him after hiding the money. I decided against it because I wanted him to believe I really had nothing. So I wanted my bags. That's when I noticed the officers all KNEW him and were aksing HIM if he wanted to give me my bags. Like HE was the boss and could hold onto my personal possessions.
So it was totally twisted.
I got my bags out of his car and then he drove off. Then I decided to call him again and he came and picked me up. The courthouse was closed. I told him I'd sign the application still. He said not for money and I said, no but still for the plane tickets back to Wenatchee and one month's rent, the first month as we'd agreed.
It was so little, the total amount offered me and in the end he could have just said he was divorcing me because he decided I was nuts or some sort of slander and been off the hook himself. I wasn't going for the whole ball of yarn, just enough to get back and not be stranded at the Motel 6, for which he got a discounted price. For someone with no money, using his bankcard to pay for tickets for me, I later discovered he paid almost NOTHING and that it had been on a frequent flier or some other program. The airline attendents said it wasn't the normal fare. He got some kind of deal.
I went back the house with him, where he dumped my purse. He went through every single thing, as I knew he would, which is why I didn't stupidly try to hide the money in my bra. Then he leaned forward to kiss me and he felt me up, and I realized, since it was right after dumping my bag, he was trying to play it off. I was already yelling at him for not trusting me when I had always been honest and loyal with him. I told him, "I didn't accuse YOU of STEALING THE MONEY!" and I said, "I didn't SEARCH YOU and pull YOUR pants DOWN."
I was then telling him I thought I'd rather marry for love than money and I cared about him. I told him I still needed a little help though. I said I understood the money was lost. I said he knew I already cared about him anyway but now I felt more seriously about him and needed him.
When I went upstairs to the courthouse, I noticed as I was going down, Alvaro was coming OUT of the office where the recording and monitors were for the courthouse. Huh! How did HE KNOW where to go if he wasn't working for the U.S.?
So then, the next time we went back, I retrieved the money, or at a different time I did, and bought a phone card discreetly. He still thought I had nothing and I was approached by some other guy who said he could give me a loan for $20,000. The fish guy, who took me to Relics with all the food and everything. Who was a little sketchy and only there if the Colombian guy was not. But it was like they knew eachother. Maybe not.
And then, as I stayed with Alvaro, with money on me, tightly coiled into a roll and stuffed into one of my prescription bottles, he grew on me. I loved him more. I was no longer trapped. I was in reserve, because of what he'd done to me, but I would keep him around to figure out what was really going on. I did begin to love him, despite himself and trapping me.
When he tried to dump me off in Wenatchee, with nothing and I complained on my blog, I thought he was full of shit. I thought he would go with me to Wenatchee as he said, and yet he was still lying about not seeing the Colombia princess. He later told me in the car that I was different because a woman could have a beautiful figure and yet when it comes to intimacy she just lays there and does nothing like an inanimate object. I was different he said, more exciting (and I wasn't even whipping his ass either). When he was first with me, he said, stunned, "Are American woman like this?" I said, "No, I'm special." But I don't really know. He said there were beautiful women but no "chimica" or chemistry and said he could just touch me and want to be with me. He did love me too, in his own way, I'm sure. I do love him in my own way as well, and if he'd totally changed and it turned out he turned his back on the game or those who wanted to harass me, he could have had me. But he lost that, especially with the way he ended with his note of what I "owed" him. I knew something was up anyway. I told my housemate that I thought someone, a woman he knew from Maryland had flown in and taken up residence and he was seeing her on the side.
At any rate, I played off the money. I told him I had nothing and then he said he could give me a little money or come out to Wenatchee for me. I didn't want him to come out after lying again but someone said to see what happened and that if he DID come out, even if there was the idea of a green card, he really liked me. SO, I called his bluff and he came out. At the airport I realized I was glad to see him. Of all things. I guess it was Stockholm Syndrome?
Who knows. But I was happy to see him and if he'd been sincere, I could have possibly married him, with him changing and my changing some things. I believed he'd switched sides. It came to my mind. I didn't know what this meant, but I said this to him, out loud. I felt he was for me and he said he wore his ring in Maryland but I'm quite sure he knew I didn't sign the application.
I went back to sign it, to make it seem as though I wouldn't have taken the money and loved him anyway, but just signing it put a sinking feeling in my stomach. I didn't want my name attached at all. I went back right away, 5 minutes later, and tried to back out without it even going on the computer. She told me it hadn't gone into the computer and was voided without showing up at all. I went back with heart racing saying I had been pressured and I wanted out.
Later, Alvaro said what did you do, "tell them I was pressuring you?" He knew. He knew, I think, the day I backed out. Someone told him and I noticed it in his face that night. He was happy to have it signed and seemed wide eyed and innocent. He actually seemed happy but then he didn't go to Wenatchee and I heard him and his friends making fun of me over the phone, in Maryland, when I was telling them about a used car, a VW, that was a good buy and was just very, very, dirty. He had an attitude. When I was first there, at the hotel too, new guys appeared and did some weird stuff. I was invited to a wedding thing and to drink first, and I told Alavaro they were going to my room just to have a couple of drinks. Alvaro knew me and trusted me--he knew I was faithful and I told him everything. So they came over but then the one wanted to set my alarm to a specific time and had a song playing the next morning at that exact time, when I woke up.
Then, I had harassment by the Red Lion guys claiming I'd done something wrong when I had not, and the one Latino was telling me, before he spoke to Alvaro and A. cleared it up, he got in my face and said my fiancee had received a $40 deal for the night before. I later found out A. wasn't charged $40 but the AAA rate of $66 or something and then costs on top of that. But the point of "40" was made, which has been a weird number theme for the Abbey attorneys and their groups.
Alvaro had some interest in drug stuff. He made a bigger deal about looking at my prescription bottles in my storage, more than anything else. And he made a quick turn when the headline for the Wenatchee paper was about drugs dumped into the river. I don't know, he was looking.
But also, on the plane, he called me and brought a copy of Newsweek which had a front cover thing about epilepsy. Major coverage and he remembered this and said it could help me with my son.
I know I loved him. I was happy with him but I kept one eye open and wasn't going to marry anytime fast. I was going to wait and see if he changed more and loved me more, and I could have waited until he'd paid the first month's rent, but he wanted out. He'd been looking for an out for a long time. He said he loved me, more than a little, with tears in his eyes and his voice breaking and it had caught HIM offguard. It wasn't an act. He meant it. But either he's CIA and just doing the hump and dump, or FBI or some shitty U.S. guy doing undercover stuff, and wanted things his way, or he was mafia and chose the bureau over me.
He said one of his favorite photos was of me and him at our engagement where I'm making a peace sign. Peace about what? He said he was from the cappuletts. He said a lot of things that indicated he knew something about me before meeting me, and what some people had done to me and my son. Then it was all about getting my son out of the picture and someone on the East Coast said it was just that kids are not safe in the environment I'd be going into and it was better if someone else were raising my son if I were a part of things. A part of WHAT? It seemed like some kind of intel thing.
When I was on the East Coast, all the weird segments were being played too, about death for 3 hours, or the moon, or just different things that were not normal for the station.
It is like Exxon has MPS. Multiple Personality Syndrome. He is a lot of different people. He's really into his acting. He would get this look on his face in an argument and pay more attention, like a kid, to his own reflection and how he looked when he was trying out different faces, than to me.
At the end, he knew he deserved some things and I saw love in his eyes in unguarded moments. But he can't handle having a woman throw an Arby's sandwich, wrapped, at him in front of his friend and storming out, leaving him behind as he tries to chase me down yelling, as I calming lock the doors to the car and take off, head high. No, he can't handle THAT but he thinks it's fine to cheat on me with everyone knowing.
He wanted out. And then he made it creepy with what he left behind in the room. If he thought I had absolutely nothing, he was telling me over the phone, he was going to work for 2 days and then if I wanted to be back with him, he would. B.S. He was with some other woman and leaving that weird note with other stuff pretty much ended it and he KNEW it. That was the same day he decided if I didn't marry him, he was going to leave me.
In Maryland, he tried to end things by asking if I'd learned anything and what I'd taken from the "experience" and it wasn't so bad right? Yeah, thanks for "the Farm" away from the fucking Farm.
I gave him a belated birthday card when he got off the plane that had two old fashioned frumpy farm women from the 50s on the cover. One says, "He says why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" then you open it up and the other woman says, "I say, why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage."
Alvaro couldn't stop laughing. Then he said I was going to give him a complex.
He was either an actor in about 4 different roles, or he was screwed up. He loves me but he has to marry me NOW or ELSE! He was protecting me and standing up for me and trying to help me with my son but then he was smirking with the state workers and leaving behind messed up messages and mocking me. He said he was trying to change but maybe he just wanted me to change. He tried to quit smoking and drinking.
I would have to hear some pretty excellent fucking reason for what's happened to go back to all of that. I wouldn't do it unless I had a fucking apology from an entire group and/or agency. I would have loved him more with time, and been even more serious, and he could have just used me and then thrown it away. I wasn't going to do that and if he didn't want to be with me, he needed to break free rather than take up more of my time.
Did I have a good time? No. Did I have a nice experience? No. What do I think? I think it was a hump and dump. But I paid myself and I...Well,
I FUCKING OWN THIS BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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