Friday, August 20, 2010

My Eminem Epiphany (all this time)

I am not saying this to name drop bc obviously I don't even know Eminem, but what is really bizarre, is that for the first time in maybe 10 years, no kidding, I realized for sure that it was him who I was being referred to while I was in high school.

What is so crazy, crazy, is that I couldn't feel sure or be sure for some reason, until this evening. Why I was boggled before, I don't know. But there was this instant clarification and it was right there and while I suspected in the past, I never knew for sure and I kept trying to remember his cousin's last name all these years and couldn't remember. ???!

I remember the dumbest things and I couldn't remember this?

So it was really strange how it came up tonight. This one guy kept bringing up eminem and then played this song, "Are you gonna stand there and watch me burn? that's alright cause I like the way it hurts..."

And then I heard Eminem come on rapping and said, "Is that Eminem?" and they said yes. I had heard the first part before and didn't want to hear anymore bc the first part made me freak out--it sounded like me, but a little bit too literal. I heard the song all the way through and thought it was really good.

So then I heard the song for the first time, tonight, all the way through and I liked it. And then after hearing it for the first time, through, for the first time in years, his cousin's NAME popped to mind.

I started telling this guy, "Yeah, and what's so crazy is that I think MAYBE I had Eminem's phone number and email, because his cousin was telling me how we should talk because I was so talented and so was he, and his style was different but he was really, really, good. "

I was about 16 years old. Or maybe 17 at the most. High school. This guy said to me, "You could have been KIM!" and I said, "No, no one could take the place of Kim."

So I was talking about him and saying, "I just can't remember her name...Korey....Hart? No, I always think her name is Korey Hart and that makes no...MATHERS!!!! OH MY GOSH, it WAS HIM!!!!"

So I was sitting there thinking this is so bizarre. For over a decade I was never clear. My classmates name was Corey Mathers and she had told me about her cousin who lived in Detroit.

Partly too, because just the few days earlier, I had been thinking about how I used to do "battles" online, before I went to Canada. I would go online to Dr. Dre's site and one other one where they had battles where one could exchange wit with another person and throw things back and forth and I found it really fun and entertaining and got into it for awhile.

So I was thinking about this for some reason, I think after I wrote a quick "rap line" about Kate Middleton in response to a comment. So I reflected on when I did the "battles" for fun and then lately this Eminem stuff has come up and it was only tonight that I realized this.

I said to the guy, "Just think how history could have been different if we'd collaborated. I don't know if I would have been good as a contributor or not..." and I was laughing and the guy said, "I'm sure if Kim couldn't have driven him crazy, you could have."

It was so weird.

And then I remembered him from a couple of years ago (this other guy) having approached me at a gas station and telling me about cancer and then he told me he was still going through it now. I asked if I could pray for him and I did quietly to myself, not trying to be intrusive into who he was or anything and the first thing that came to my mind was "Fighter" but not just figurative, like literal in some way. I told him and he said, "that's funny, because I AM a fighter."

I said, "What?!" and he said, "Yeah, I fight Mixed Martial Arts". I said, "Did you tell me this?" and he said no. I said, "Did you tell me this when I met you back when?" and he said, "No, I just started this a year ago."

I thought this was so incredible. I couldn't believe it.

So anyway, this is the cool stuff of my night tonight. It's just random, but very cool too. I said, about his cousin, "THAT Corey knew what she was doing!" (I mean, seriously, I WAS very talented and she was able to recognize my then-talent as well as his and think it would be cool for us to meet). Instead, like a lot of things in my life, I just put it to the side for "later" because I was too involved in my current situations.

Is this the story of my life or what?

But really, my son right now, MUST be focus #1 so I'm not backing down on that. But I've really met a lot of cool and interesting people, from all walks, in my life, if even briefly, and some, never met but had opportunities I passed up.

C'est la vie!

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