Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Drugged Again & Mother Discriminated Against

I just got fucking drugged again today. I don't know if it was through a piece of gum I took, or lunch. It may be possible it's still effects from the day before yesterday but I am wondering.

My eye was totally droopy afterwards and is still droopy now.

I seriously cannot believe this.

To me, it is reasonable to expect one can go to lunch and not have their food tampered with. Or to take a piece of gum and expect the same.

I am realizing I cannot do this.

I sort of wondered about it and then looked in the mirror about an hour later. My eye looks like I had a fucking stroke. I don't get a droopy eye unless I'm having a migraine and the fact that I have one without any migraine or expectation of having migraine is a serious concern. This is the same droopy eye I photographed a week ago.

I think there are some serious drugs and meds in my system.

I can't smell the same, think the same, I can't even write creative poetry anymore or be funny anymore. My memory has gone to hell, but on the days where I just make sure everything is from a bottle, I have zero problems and I start getting normal things back.

I asked the social worker in Washington state for a response about medication without my consent or knowledge and she didn't even reply.

Believe me, I know it's happening. I just can't believe people have gone to these lengths.

I also found out my mother was discriminated against today.

She was already seated for jury duty and this other group took out a preemptory challenge to unseat her. Why in the world? Since when is my mother not fit for jury duty? at least she got out of it. She didn't even tell me she had jury duty at all. But she had no problem with the lawyers and then some other large group just made a judgmental call on her for some weird reason. I don't think she minded at all but I am trying to find out why in the world a whole group would try to unseat her.

I also told my parents today that I wished I had never, under any circumstances, agreed to stay or live with people who are or were heavily involved with witchcraft because some are still into it. Even though I never practiced it, ever, I think it allowed a different kind of proximity to me, which I didn't realize or intend, but regret.

I have also blocked myself off from noticing things in church. I want my church to be about church and nothing else. I don't care if someone is anticipating what I do or not, I don't want to know about it in church. I want this to be separate. Some of the psychic (natural stuff) or christian giftings is very interesting and I share in this, but I want to get out of services and prayer, just what the purpose is for: to worship God, to examine myself and my conscience, to pray, and that's it.

I'm not saying I want to be perfect or that I think I could be, or anything. I am only saying everyone says something is wrong and no one seems to be thinking about misplaced focus.

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