this is one I took while walking beneath an overpass. It mainly shows how, with this little laptop, I can't get good definition or an interesting thing out of it. I need a 35mm. I was suprised by some of the definition on one of the leaf ones though, which was a random shot close up. It not unique by any means. I was just experimenting and this is really why I used myself for photos..bc with a person you can make it more interesting. it's also hard when you can't look through a lens, but I felt like taking a few.
I have had major harassment after going to the russian baptist church this morning.
These people are totally demented. DEMENTED. The town people, I mean.
Do what you will assholes, because you know you only have a few more fucking days and then you are pretty much done. So, basically, as Joan Jett would say:
"Hit Me With Your Best Shot".
You have only a few days to get your digs in and most of you, who I have seen parading around, are coming from the Catholic church. A few are Jewish. Almost all of the harassment, since I left church this morning, came from people who had just been to a Catholic church.
I went to the church in peace. The only different thing I did was take a dandilion that had seeded, which in American symbolism, is for a wish. It is not a bad thing, it is a good thing and I was going to give it to someone. It was my form of bearing an olive branch of sorts and also saying, "I want you to help me and I know someone here can help me get my son back with the right information."
Last night I was not tortured for the first time. I slept and no one was even upstairs I don't think and I don't even know if the other guy was home, but nothing weird was happening.
I came out of Russian chuch, and someone immediately started messing with technology and the overheating with my laptop right away.
I had problems every single night for the last week or more, with assholes upstairs or otherwise, using technology to harm me. Last night, nothing happened. Nothing really happened yesterday with overheating of the computer either.
Anyway, I went to church and everyone was fine. I didn't know how to exactly give anyone the dandlion thing so I thought I would find a vase. The one it would have gone best with was one at the front of the church. But anyway. It didn't import or have any meaning other than being a wish for having my son back. And that was it.
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I didn't take any notes because I didn't want anyone to feel awkward. There isn't anything wrong with it, but I just didn't feel like taking notes. I did try to guess a few things, but not really.
Honestly, I have completely backed off on even asking God to help me with things like that, because I think He answers prayers and I don't really want that kind of a burden right now. I wasn't planning to go to church this morning at all and when I left the house, I thought it was too late bc I was looking at a different clock. I just left the house and then realized I would have time so thought I would go. So I did. I wasn't planning it out though. I had thought the night before that I might go and I might not and I didn't know if it would be good one way or the other. But I went.
It was fine.
I actually understood a couple of things without trying to know what was being said, but most of it I didn't understand without a translator. I didn't have any impressions except maybe of someone with different colored handkerchiefs. I saw some different ones and then noticed a woman next to me had one but not in the color or design I thought of. But I had a few impressions of hankerchiefs. And at one point I "saw" a punch bowl. I wasn't sure if it was just a really large glass bowl for something or for punch literally and figured I was picking up on the service at a different church (at the 1st Presbyterian church I went to as a girl, they always served coffee and punch for kids). I didn't see any punch though. Just a very large crystal style glass bowl.
At one point, I laughed (not out loud but tried not to) when one of the speakers did a thing with his tongue that Vladimir did once, and it sometimes doesn't make me laugh but sometimes it just hits me and makes me laugh a LOT. I don't know why. But this guy did this and I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud. I asked what he was talking about and the translator said, "Sarah, in the Bible." I said, "Isn't that the one who's not supposed to laugh?" She said, about Sarah and then I said, without even knowing what part of the Bible he was using, I said "Hebrews?" and she said, "Yes". For some reason, I knew it was Hebrews and not the Old Testament book about Sarah because I started thinking about the chapter about faith, those who walk by faith and Sarah is mentioned in the list. Then it was about the good seed and seed of faith. I thought, "And I brought a seeded dandilion to church...oh no...what is someone going to make of that?"
Sarah is the one who laughs when God tells her she is going to have a child in old age. She laughs and laughs and doesn't believe it, telling him to look for another temp wife and then she does have a child herself later.
So that is when I had the giggles. I had them again towards the end of a song, thinking about pretty much the same thing and it was a solemn song. I don't really know what the song was about but I couldn't stop laughing again. It was kind of nice. It was a nice relief to laugh in church and it felt good, not out of place for some reason.
The translator asked if I could read any Russian because she said I sang a lot of the words right. I said no and she started laughing. "Nothing?" and I said no, I couldn't read any of it but I looked at it because it would look weird if I was singing in Russian (trying) without looking at the reader board. I do not know how to pronounce one single thing in Russian. I just kind of guess ahead of time, what the words are and sing along. I look at the board absentmindedly, because where else would I look?
The other thing I "knew" (I think) was that when this girl's grandmother said something to her in Russian, I was going to ask the girl (or young woman) what her grandmother just said and I thought to myself, "She asked if she was cold" and the woman leaned over to me and said, "She just asked me if I was cold." I said, "Oh! for some reason that's what I thought she asked, but I don't know any Russian at all."
I asked her at one point, inbetween all the sermon messages, which I paid attention to, I asked if the man who had been setting things up in front for sound, if that had been Vladimir or his brother because I couldn't tell. I didn't really look close enough and thought it was his brother with the Ukrainian fiance but I didn't have my glasses on and since Vladdie has his hair darker, I couldn't tell. She told me there were a lot of them, like 7 of them. The only reason I asked was because I had thought Vladimir was wearing a tie today and the guy in front didn't have a tie on. Before I even realized it was time for church, this guy Elias and Vladimir came to mind briefly and I thought Vladimir was putting a tie on, but maybe I'm wrong.
There were some good songs and music.
I went to church with the song, "Don't build your house on the sandy land" (a childhood psalm) and left with "shape of my heart" by sting. I took a few photos of Wenatchee but it proved that I can't do anything artistic with scenery and this laptop. A photos of leaves came out okay but nothing interesting. The only way I can make photos interesting is to use human subjects. But I will put up a couple of the leaf ones I took.
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I have browsed through some books. Laughed a lot at one: "Screwed up English" by Charlie Croker. Read from a few different things. Thought about how, if there are 7 brothers?, do they all look alike? and did I then see Vladimir with a tie or was it one of his brothers? I think she said 7 brothers so who knows how many sisters. all I know is that one of the brothers from his family thought about whether I would be going to the church or not, before I ever started walking that direction. I picked up on that much. Maybe just sport, as I've done, for fun with different people, trying to guess what someone might be wearing (no harm intended or motive either).
I also thought briefly at how I somehow knew or had an idea about some things in Russian when I don't know any Russian. The translator said I should get a Russian-English Bible and I always feel...I don't know. Like that would be taking a plunge. Do I want to learn a whole new language at this time in my life? Is right now the right time if I do later? So I wonder myself why I ever went to the Ukraine or Russian baptist but I was invited AND, I was known to attend the Japanese Baptist church in Tigard when I lived next to one, and there, I sang songs in Japanese. So probably, maybe, I just like to spice things up now and then. I also took French and watched a lot of foreign films in every language, and know Spanish. I almost took Farsi in college and thought about Chinese. I would want my son to be multilingual if he could be as well. So I think it is no suprise. I mean, so no one should ever question my motives as being negative or suspect in any way. This is what I mean to say.
I went to a christian devotional section and was picking out a book from the "god's little devotional book" and there were all these colors and I went for pink on this one and it was the one for Moms. Which made me feel good because I passed by all these child development books, thinking I can't even follow where my son is at bc the State has literally blocked me and my child from even seeing eachother at all. He doesn't hear my voice. He never sees me. I am his MOTHER. And this what the State has done and, so far, what the U.S. has allowed. I skipped over the child development and personality books for now, and went to devotional books and the one I got was for Moms. I think God believes in me, even when the idiots can't tell the difference between a gartner snake and a boa constrictor. Actually, I don't "think". I know this and have always known this. I looked through many books, looking at a humorous book about "Famous Pears" and then a mixture of English and American history books. I also saw one which was facing and I noticed it mainly bc of the color, otherwise I wouldn't have grabbed it. I hesitated anyway, seeing the title: Born to Rule (by Julia Gelardi). I didn't do any random selections. Someone had a book out about Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots and I skimmed through it and then got my own books after reading what someone left on the table. At any rate, there are a bunch of different women in the born to rule book and I mainly looked at the photographs and didn't read anything. I then prayed over the book, asking God, if there was one woman there that I might be like, who would it be? and I did pray, sheepishly? so I know prayers like this don't mean much but I was curious. The one that I opened to was Alexandria Ivanov. The one who had the boy with hemophilia and I read at that part, that when she wept over her son, all her daughters wept with her. So this chapter that I turned to, wasn't just about her but it made me think maybe I really should read about the Russian Revolution sometime. Because the preface to this was someone being assassinated--which is maybe what set off the wars and revolutions to begin with? Some couple from Austria were killed by Serbians and this set off, according to this book, a chain of events which led to one country warring with the other to avenge their deaths. Probably I do not compare with this tzarina, even out of all these different women, very much at all except in the amount of love I have for my son. Well, unless you want to count being in virtual house arrest for a long time, and my son and I being tortured. I am not saying that as a whiner or in complaint. I am stating this as a fact. I opened up the Bible and it fell on Daniel refusing to obey the king and being thrown into the fiery furnace.
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