Making It To The Hearing Today

I'm in Blaine. It's 5:25 a.m. and I'm wondering how to get to the hearing on time. In my distress over what was happening with my lawyer and missing out on visitation with my son because of it, I forgot to ask the bus for a scheduled pick up. And then I realized that once I get into Wenatchee, I don't have a ride to Waterville for court. I would have tried leaving last night, to hitchhike and make sure I get in in time, but my migraine popped up (I'll write about my migraine stuff later, how this one was different too). I had to get some sleep first. So now I'm up and had tea, and some fruit, and I don't think I can make it to the hearing even if I take the regular bus to Wenatchee. It would get in at 12:30 p.m. and I don't have a ride to Waterville, which is a half hour away.

I need some good luck this morning. Where there's a will, there's a way, but good fortune also includes running into the right people, and, what I call, "providence". I'll do my best. What I want is continuance, and after talking to Paul, I've good reason to believe I can find a new lawyer more quickly than last time, and that they'll be able to help me.

I love you O. Mama cried all day yesterday, specifically because I won't see you this week--I tried, but CPS refused to reschedule visitation for later this week.

I know you need me. I found out that your bonding with my aunt is a survival instinct with kids, especially your age. Paul brought up Stockholm Syndrome. He said CPS sees it all the time; that to survive the trauma, a baby/child develops an instant bond to the next caregiver, and that it's the result of having to survive. I told him how you kept looking over your shoulder at me the last times we visited, with a sad and confused look, like why wasn't I going with you? You are mine and I am yours and we belong together. I know God knows everything. God is on our side, even if some others are not. Mama's gonna bust you out of that joint baby--and with the help of a good attorney.