My CPS Case--My Son's Reactions

Today, my son showed serious evidence of trauma and some behavioral problems and confusion when he threw a tantrum, kicking at me (which he's never done) and then cried. Marie was there, and I saw her actually smirking with a kind of satisfaction, as if she was pleased to see him reacting this way with his mother. My aunt was still in the room. My son began to cry and I picked him up. He was still crying until I said, "I know honey. This is very confusing. You want both me AND Holly to stay, don't you?" He began to quiet down and immediately clung to me, his arms around my shoulders tight, not letting me go. My aunt was still in the room. I continued to affirm how he felt, saying, "I know, this is hard and you are a very brave boy. You want to see Mama more and you still want to see Holly too, because you love us, and you know what? We love you too! and Mama wants to see you more and more and I'm doing my best honey. I know this has been hard for you. It's okay honey. It's okay to want the people you love to be with you all the time, and I understand."

My son completely quit crying. Then my aunt left the room, and he cried, but briefly, and calmed down when I was holding him in a rocking chair. His thumb now has a huge callous on it, from over-sucking. He never had this before he was taken away from me, and his primary form of comforting himself, was sucking his thumb. But it's evident he sucks his thumb all the time now. He was calm and I told him he could take a nap if he wanted to, because he was sick and maybe had woken up too soon from his afternoon nap.

I sang the Barney song "I Love You" and then a version of "Mockingbird" where, at the end, it goes: "If it starts to rain, Mama will hurry you home again. I'll wipe your face, and dry your hair; sit you up in your own highchair; tie your bib and for goodness' sake; Mama's gone and baked you a Birthday Cake; tired little baby, sleepyhead, Mama's gonna tuck you in your bed...close your eyes, don't say a word; maybe have a dream of a mockingbird." At the part about "I'll wipe your face and dry your hair," I would always stroke the side of his face with my hand. I did this, and my son quit sucking his thumb to reach up and hold my hand to his face. He wouldn't let me pull away, and moved my hand up and down the side of his face, using his hand over mine to show me he wanted me to keep stroking his face. He did this for the duration of the song and then wouldn't let go even afterwards. I had to try very hard not to cry. He has missed his mother's touch.

Then I showed him his Car's blanket that I bought for him, upon his adamant insistence, at Target, and told him the story of the day he wanted that blanket and how I bought it for him and how I had known he really loved it so much. He smiled and pointed to the blanket. Then he perked up and wanted to eat the french fries I had brought in. And play with cars, so we played with cars together. He loves to run from me and have me chase him. We did this a lot. He freaked out about having spilled juice on his hands. Which isn't normal for him. I reassured him it was okay, that everyone gets messy and we just clean up. Then, by the time my aunt came, he went to my aunt and leaned against her, and yet when we were all leaving the room, he ran off, wanting me to chase him. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to be freely playing with his mother. But my aunt had to go so she took his hand. I said I'd see him tomorrow and he got a very sad and confused look on his face. He looked back as they walked away, and I saw him trying to pull away from my aunt's hand as she neared the car. She pulled him forward. The monitor, who has said to me she thinks we should have more visitation time and that he seems sad when he leaves me, retracted every single thing she said 2 weeks ago, today. I called her on it. I also caught her making a derogatory look regarding me, to other DSHS workers when they came out of the door, and they gave her the same look and then cleaned it up quickly to put on sweet faces for me. Completely two-faced.

I had complained about this monitor after the very first visit, and asked for someone else and afterwards, CPS and the monitor told me she was writing "beautiful things" about my interactions with my son, and she told me personally that she felt I should have more visitation with my son and that he seemed sad and confused when he left. Today, she denied this. I have been asking for copies of her notes for almost a month and have not received anything from the AG or CPS.

I also found out CPS scheduled several appointments with speech therapists for my son, without consulting me. They have not won a "fact finding" hearing and won dependency of my son yet, and it is not guaranteed they will, but they have kept medical appointments from me and even kept me out of the loop as to who they were having go out to evaluate my son and what the results were. They've been doing this for a month. I had told them I had my son signed up to see a speech therapist when I was in Canada, but I never authorized this to be done in Wenatchee, and told them I wanted him to see one, but NOT in Wenatchee. No specialist care of any kind should be done in this town, given the politics. I don't mind having him go to a Wenatchee PCP for colds and that sort of thing, but diagnostics of any kind, should be done out of the area, not in the very town where I've threatened to sue medical practicioners for medical malpractice for damages I and my son incurred at childbirth.

I'm told he had an intake a month ago, and then 2 weeks ago, an "evaluation" by 2 speech therapists, and that he scored low in his communication skills. I was telling doctors in Wenatchee that, over a YEAR ago, and asking for MRI and testing and they IGNORED me. No one listened to me. Now, supposedly, they're going to "work" with my son on his communication. My son is aware of the fact he could once speak. He tries now, and cannot articulate what he wants to. I kept accurate records of his development and when his speech stopped and he is not autistic. I've been saying for almost a year, that he needs an MRI after being tested by a speech therapist for the obvious things like hearing (which I already know he doesn't have a problem with). I've also been asking about sign language and was looking into this in Canada, because he can communicate with his hands, and this can also spur verbal abilities. However, as his mother, who has supervised his every move, I know something happened to him. No one listened to me when I told them my son wasn't okay--they just thought my concerns were more "somatic" imagination. I had to go to Canada to have someone take me seriously, and there I was able to make relevant appointments for him. But as soon as Wenatchee CPS found out, they concealed their plans from me, and started having him evaluated by Wenatchee speech therapists, when I've already had grave concerns about the system here and how not only I, but my SON was ignored.

By the way, my son still has tinea versicolor, which is almost unheard of in a child, and this was discounted as well. His spots are showing up again, now that he's in the son more, and I made note of it in our visit today. Doctors in Wenatchee refused to treat him, and claimed this wasn't it, but wouldn't refer him out. They claimed my son didn't have tinea when I told them both I and my son got this after our PCP, Dr. Butler, refused to treat a systemic thrush infection. They claimed it was a different form of yeast (tinea vs thrush) but I did the research--it mutates when it's not treated. And for a child to get it, they have to be quite immunocompromised and ill.

But I supposedly never know what I'm talking about, even though I've been right so far about all of my and my son's health problems.

They don't want to refer out, or have his care outside of Wenatchee because they figure they can make charts to their liking if they keep it in town with people they know. The same way they want to keep their hands on this CPS case instead of transfering it to Bellingham. The same way they refused to let me see my son for almost ONE MONTH after he removed from me, hoping that by separating him from me this long, they could force him to bond with my aunt instead, out of traumatic necessity. And ever since, they have refused to allow me more than 4 hours with my son per week, for the last month and a half, with no justification.

They don't want to keep up the communication and bond between mother and son--they have already proven they are intent on trying to destroy it and to alienate my son from me.

Their actions speak louder than words. They are not concerned about my son's best interests, they care about making their own case to the state, and trying to make it appear as though my son is better off without me and that they've caused no harm. In trying to justify their own actions for taking my son, which are without grounds, they have been willing to cause further harm and damage to my son, and to try to tear his biological family apart.

Nothing Wenatchee CPS has done, has been in good faith. My son has become unstable because of it, and doesn't even know how he should feel towards his mother, whom he cannot understand does not avoid him of her own volition.