Mother Marijuana

My mom is freaking out about my writing about drugs, and being around people who do drugs, and "attracted to a druggie". She doesn't think it helps my case in showing I'm a good and responsible mother. I understand where she is coming from, but I wrote back my reasons which I'm copying here, simply because I DO care what some people think about what kind of a mother I am and I DO care about and love my son. I would not be around this sort of thing with him, and never was in the past when he was with me. In fact, I've only seen pot on 2 prior occasions and I didn't smoke. I've only seen it twice before becoming a border toss. Now, my son is not with me, and as long as I keep myself safe and am acting responsibly, I'm okay with what I've observed. There haven't been any safety threats and everyone is respectful of my boundaries. I strive to be the best mother I can be and so far, I've been receiving compliments about my parenting style and the "monitor" has told others she's very impressed and that I'm very, very, good with my son. I know I am and have always been and I have many wonderful children to thank for much of my skills. After 15 years babysitting others' kids, I've learned patience and picked up some good ideas. I have also been able to experiment a little with others' kids and find what works for children and approach them at the level they're at. Would I encourage my son to use drugs? No. Do I want him to be open-minded? Yes.



Hi, I know it sounds weird about the drugs and stuff, but mom, I'm not DOING drugs, I'm just learning about stuff and chalking it up to life experience and learning. It's part of being a writer, to want to know about these things and define what I've observed with the written word. Like I said before, it could be daisies they're smoking and totally legal, and I'd still be fascinated if there was a cult following. And I really can't help it if I'm attracted to someone who also happens to smoke. How can ANYONE help who they're attracted to? I'm not joining "the business" or dealing or even dabbling. I was just as fascinated, being around a group of hippies, who didn't have an illegal substance in sight. It's just people. I would love to have this whole thing dismissed. I do feel that writing is just a part of who I am and part of my "calling". I'm not saying it always is the best thing for my situation, and I've been misunderstood, but I have to believe that it's helping someone out there, or making someone laugh, or feel they can relate, and if not relate, learn, or even mock. I don't care even if people mock what I write. As for Oliver, I WOULD die for him and try to save him but at the same time, I think God wants us to be who we are fully. Part of who I am is a writer, of my experiences. I asked God in my 20s, or said, "If you want me to be a writer, give me something to write about." Well, my life certaintly hasn't been boring and I feel almost an obligation to make an account of it. I don't believe I am to share only the good but the bad, even if it may temporarily or even permanently make someone think less of me, for whatever reason. I feel I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. If someday people can respect me for this, and tolerate me, understanding why I'm writing what I do and why I am who I am, that would be great. I don't write about EVERYTHING I want to write about, if you can believe that. I AM somewhat selective and feel I should save some of the detail for a book, to be published. But I have to keep practicing. Use it or lose it. I would be so relieved if they would just dismiss this whole thing. SOOOoooo relieved.