My Confession: Part III-- Virgin User

I had never tried any "drugs", in my entire life, outside of prescriptions for medical reasons, until I was kicked out of Canada. I never used marijuana, ever, until this last month. And the people who watched me try it for the first time, both knew I was telling the truth and were shocked that I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to hold the pipe, or light it, or when to light it, or how to suck, or how to inhale...I knew nothing.

My reason for trying it was a combination of things. First of all, my back was hurting a little at the time, and I wondered if it would help. So, I was curious about the effects. Secondly, I was pissed off that I have been accused of being "drug-seeking" when I never have been in the past, and had never done anything.

I even had a test come out positive and was diagnosed by Wenatchee CWH with "cannabis abuse" when it wasn't true. I had never done it, and had not even been around it, so I seriously questioned where they got this result. They didn't even tell me about their "results" until I got my records 3 months later and asked and then it was too late for me to demand a retest. Because this came after I threatened to sue for defamation when they wrongly charted me as "drug-seeking" I wondered if someone had even just made it up, or mixed up my sample, or if my protein levels were too high or what. No one in Wenatchee believed me when I told the truth, that I'd never used any drugs of any kind for recreation, or medical use (outside of my prescriptions for medical use), including marijuana. People thought, or wanted others to think, I was lying.

The first time I was grilled about "using drugs" was by Julia Thornton, FBI Supervisor, at that time, for Portland field office. I was giving her my complaint about her guys and she started trying to turn it around on me, suggesting Vicodin that I'd taken in my home, for migraine, was improper, as if I were using it recreationally. She grilled me about this, telling me it could "preclude you from employment with the FBI" after I told her one of her guys kept asking me for "reefer" and if I had any reefer and I kept telling him I didn't, and had to even ask him what "reefer" was (I'd heard of weed, but not reefer). After the FBI sent out 2 S.S.A.'s to interview me after Thornton, police pulled my car over when it was parked at a gas station and did a full search for 1 1/2 hours, as if they were looking for something. They claimed my license was suspended and I later got proof from the DMV that it NEVER WAS. The police towed my car and when I got it back, the insides were different and rattley, like someone had pried things apart on the inside of the doors and then threw it back together. After this, I stayed in Washington state, afraid of more harassment, and had to drop out of college (I was almost finished with my B.A. with only half a year to go). Next thing I know, Wenatchee is claiming I'm drug seeking and an interesting "positive for THC" finding gets thrown into my chart.

You know, I have about 3 years worth of hair on my head, and who knows, it just may prove I didn't use marijuana when the hospital claimed I had tested positive. We could always do a hair sample (Rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair!).

So, after having my son taken away from me without cause, and being falsely accused of all kinds of things, I thought, "Well, they don't believe me anyway, and they've taken my son, and slandered me, and had me jailed in Canada...so why NOT try it? maybe it will help my backache."

I will never forget the first time. I know the guys won't either. They said so themselves and said they hadn't seen a virgin user since they were in high school.

This is what happened...We went for a walk. In a remote location, they took out a glass pipe. I told them I wanted to try it before I watched them using. They kept asking me if I'd smoked before and I said no but they didn't believe me until they saw I had no idea how to hold the pipe, or about the carburetor, and was afraid of the lighter. I was also afraid of breathing in and kept jerking back when they lit the pipe, close to my mouth. Then they said I hadn't inhaled. I didn't know what the heck I was doing. I tried it until they said I had inhaled, and I actually coughed and could feel it go down. Then I stopped. I felt nothing. Nothing different at all. I thought, "Huh. That was pointless." They told me they didn't think I'd inhaled except maybe once.

The next time I tried it, a day later, I wanted to know how it "felt" to see if there WERE any effects. Because I hadn't noticed anything at all and my back still hurt after I'd tried it. I didn't feel more relaxed, and I didn't know what "high" was supposed to feel like. I thought, maybe you're supposed to get "high" to feel the effects. So the next time I tried a joint. It was much easier to use. I still didn't feel any effects though. I figured I wasn't getting enough. So I kept trying it and told them I wanted to practice until I looked like I knew what I was doing, "You never know when it might come in handy, to blend in," I said. So then my eyes got squinty and all of a sudden, one of the guys said something and his facial expressions and comments were the most hysterical satire I'd ever seen/heard. I cracked up laughing and then all of a sudden, my emotions turned on me, and I thought about my son and started to cry. I hadn't been crying over my son, and the pot sort of broke into my emotional well. One of the guys thought it was because I felt guilty for doing it. But I didn't feel guilty. After all the things that had been done to me, and being falsely accused, smeared, and having my son taken, I didn't feel guilty for trying a little pot. I was crying for my son.

Then, because I had both laughed and then cried, I got scared and sort of freaked out because my heart was racing. I was worried I'd overdone it. They said, "Now, you're high." I think I was a little more than "high". They had reassured me you can't overdose and there is no known overdose or fatal reaction. But I didn't want to be left alone so I laid down and made someone stay with me until the effects wore off.

Afterwards, I thought, "That was so NOT worth it." I didn't care to try pot every again, in my life. It didn't do anything for me, in smaller amounts, and in larger amounts, scared the heck out of me, and still had no positive effects. I didn't even feel what I imagined "high" was supposed to feel like--happier, or euphoria, or less pain...It was pretty much worthless for me, I thought.

The next time I was due for a migraine, a week or more later, it didn't come through like normal. It was different, and on the opposite side of my head and eye, and not as bad as usual. Because it was atypical, I didn't want to use up my expensive Migranol. But it was more than a tension headache. It was pretty much a weird and more mild form of migraine. And, I noticed I had the droopy eye effect on my left eye, like I get when I have a left-side migraine (even though this migraine was on the right side). I started wondering if it was because I'd tried pot. One of the guys was there and saw me pressing the back of my head. I'd already tried OTC stuff and it wasn't working. He offered me a joint. I inhaled maybe 3 times and that was it and then I took a bath. The headache cleared up within a half hour. I was shocked. Then I had my period, so I knew the last headache had been my regular migraine attack. The guy who gave me the joint said pot was known to get rid of headaches, and that's why I tried it after not wanting to try it again. I thought, "Well, it's free, and I don't want to use Migranol on an atypical headache and waste it exactly..." I thought I would put it to the test. After my headache went away, I was puzzled. Was it because it was atypical? or the bath helped? or was it really the pot? One thing I noticed, I didn't have my second "after menstruation" migraine. It never showed up at all. So I wondered if the pot had warded off the second round. I started doing research about marijuana for migraine and found evidence that it actually does work and there's documentation to this effect, especially for menstrual migraines! But there is also efficacy, documented for other types of migraine, which includes men and women as patients. It was the primary treatment for migraine in the latter half of the 19th century in Europe and the U.S., up until almost the 1940s.

I figured more investigation would tell. So I went 2 or more weeks without any weed at all. And then 2 nights ago, right before I was about due to have the migraine spell, in the "before period" spell) I inhaled about 5 times (4 times lightly through a joint and then once through a glass pipe which caused me to cough). My eyes got a little squinty later, but my heartrate was normal and I didn't get weird. I felt a little tired and then later that night, had a ton of energy. The very next morning I had a light headache. It felt like the same weird atypical migraine but even lighter. Halfway through the day, I laid down and after 15 minutes, the headache was completely gone and didn't return. Today, I haven't had any headache at all, although I noticed, this morning, I had a slightly droopy eye on the left side. It's interesting because I've got the droopy eye but no migraine.

I am convinced marijuana has had a positive effect in preventing and reducing the severity of my migraines. But I need more time to find out for sure.

What is incredible to me, is that marijuana in such small amounts, could have such a dramatic effect.

Do I want to smoke a lot? no. I don't want my short term memory to be affected. I care about my brain. But if I can prevent my migraines with very mild and occasional use of marijuana, this is really an incredible finding. It pretty much aborted the headaches within minutes and there were no other side effects. It wasn't sedating like narcotics and I didn't have to "sleep it off".

After I found out, this worked again, last night, and I was migraine-free, I looked up information about permits for medical marijuana. I would want maybe enough for the same usage I had in the last month, month and a half. Which is very little. And finding out I may be able to carry on my experiment legally, and that there may be a good and mild preventative treatment for my migraines, made me cry.

I debated whether I should write about this. But knowing what I've been through in over a decade, I can't allow this to be my own personal secret. I want everyone who has migraines, to know there just may be an effective treatment and that it is superior to everything else they have tried.

Good luck! and wish me luck too--I want my son back and the right to be a freethinker and to have free speech too. I am absolutely in favor of medical marijuana to be accepted by all states, and the federal government. As for recreational use, I sort of think people should be able to decide for themselves. If marijuana hadn't been effective for my migraines, I know I wouldn't have tried it again. It really isn't this euphoric, crazy, big, drug like I thought it was supposed to be. At least it wasn't for me.