I got my application for waiver of fees out in the mail, at overnight express.
So glad.
I hope that my family is happy about it. I hope so and I hope things work out. I feel like I won something but it seems like some people feel i"ve lost something. I don't know what. I think, I hope, I've gained a chance to get my son back.
I am also wondering if maybe I should file something else, to be on the safe side, I think I'm sending in a Motion to Reconsider or for New Trial. Just to be on the safe side. As long as it has todays post office date it should be good. It doesn't have to be sent out from the regular post office. There is a later drop.
This couple just came by and there is a guy playing guitar and she dropped money into the thing , saying, "I like to support the arts" and I was sitting outside and asked if she would support me too, for just sitting here looking pretty. Joking, and she laughed. She must have been just the right person to say this to. Then, she joked about a can and I said no that would just look begar unless it had a sign that said, "I am a Work of Art" and we laughed and then I thought, and then someone would append that with "....Or a Piece of Work".. But I was kidding around.
I don't really have a bad vibe right now but I am concerned bc someone looked worried earlier and shocked too. So I am just hoping everything will be fine. Everyone went from wearing red and yellows to all blue and gray. What the hay.
A bunch of retired military just walked by me. They didn't tell me they were, I just knew.
These people are so bizarre Some of the latinos have come out to harass me this evening. I don't know if someone told some of them that they're not doing a good enough job of it or what.
Oh brother. Here comes the sun. I knew it.
I said in my mind, as it was getting cloudy and ready to ready, I said to myself, as I walked out of the Post Office: "It's going to sun." And then I sat there wondering if that is okay to say like that. It's going to sun like it's going to rain. And it felt very balmy and was getting cloudy and humid like rain might happen.
And what do you know? It is starting to sun. So weird. Oh and now a bunch of birds are singing.
But the thing is, sometimes bad things happen to my son when there is a shift in stuff. People really need to be looking out for my son.
The music was nice. It was sort of bluegrass stuff and I was going to ask him to sing "Don't Think Twice" by Bob Dylan but he wasn't there anymore.
There is a lot of drama coming up. I just want it to die down but there is drama.
I guess I do want to reveal one small thing. I think it's okay bc I think it's a God thing and not a psych me out thing (I hope).
Oh and before I write that, I had another image today. And it was confirmed. This guy said he had a cat and I got an idea of what the cat looked like before he even told me. I saw the frickin' cat.
Last night before I fell asleep I saw a young woman with blond hair. It was long and sort of curly but I think it was maybe not naturally curly. It was longer than middle of the back or at least that long and it was fine hair and not dark blond and not sheer platinum. Fine, silky, shiny hair. Pretty good hair and a young white face and the only thing I could think of was "who is that? kitty spencer?" but to tell the whole truth, I don't know. I haven't looked at a photo of kitty spencer lately. She had a young face and sort of a narrow chin or jawline, not really square or anything. And it wasn't frizzy kinky hair, it was in sort of ringlets in a way. Like she'd taken a curling iron to it to get it that way, not from nature.
Most likely, it was the lover or sister of someone I know , used to know, or am connected to. Her hair was at least down to her waist but possibly longer. She was like that woman who sings. But it wasn't a photo, it was a real person and I remote viewed her.
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4 comments:
Maybe I should send that court some of your blog posts so they can see what a freaking nut job you are. That way your son can move on with his life instead of being traumatized by you...Get a pysche eval done and post the results of that on here and if it says you aren't crazy, then I'll take back my statements, otherwise we are all going to believe you to be the crazy bitch you present yourself to be.
Cameo, have you considered the possibility that you might be suffering from a mental disorder?
Please consider the following:
Paranoia is an unfounded or exaggerated distrust of others, sometimes reaching delusional proportions. Paranoid individuals constantly suspect the motivesof those around them, and believe that certain individuals, or people in general, are "out to get them."
Paranoid perceptions and behavior may appear as features of a number of mental illnesses, including depression and dementia, but are most prominent in three types of psychological disorders: paranoid schizophrenia, delusional disorder (persecutory type), and paranoid personality disorder (PPD).
Individuals with paranoid schizophrenia and persecutory delusional disorder experience what is known as persecutory delusions: an irrational, yet unshakable, belief that someone is plotting against them. Persecutory delusions in paranoid schizophrenia are bizarre, sometimes grandiose, and often accompaniedby auditory hallucinations. Delusions experienced by individuals with delusional disorder are more plausible than those experienced by paranoid schizophrenics; not bizarre, though still unjustified. Individuals with delusional disorder may seem offbeat or quirky rather than mentally ill, and, as such, may never seek treatment.
Persons with paranoid personality disorder tend to be self-centered, self-important, defensive, and emotionally distant.Their paranoia manifests itself inconstant suspicions rather than full-blown delusions. The disorder often impedes social and personal relationships and career advancement. Some individuals with PPD are described as "litigious," as they are constantly initiating frivolous law suits. PPD is more common in men than in women, and typically begins in early adulthood.
The exact cause of paranoia is unknown. Potential causal factors may be genetics, neurological abnormalities, changes in brain chemistry, and stress. Paranoia is also a possible side effect of drug use and abuse (for example, alcohol, marijuana, amphetamines, cocaine, PCP). Acute, or short term, paranoia may occur in some individuals overwhelmed by stress.
The diagnosis of patients with paranoid symptoms includes a thorough physicalexamination and patient history to rule out possible organic causes (such asdementia) or environmental causes (such as extreme stress). If a psychological cause is suspected, a psychologist will conduct an interview with the patient and may administer one of several tests to evaluate mental status.
Paranoia that is symptomatic of paranoid schizophrenia, delusional disorder,or paranoid personality disorder should be treated by a psychologist and/or psychiatrist. Antipsychotic medication such as thioridazine (Mellaril),haloperidol (Haldol), chlorpromazine (Thorazine), clozapine (Clozaril), or risperidone (Risperdal) may be prescribed, and cognitive therapy or psychotherapy may be employed to help the patient cope with their paranoia and/or persecutory delusions. It is uncertain whether antipsychotic medication benefit individuals with paranoid personality disorder and may even pose long-term risks.
If an underlying condition, such as depression or drug abuse, is found to betriggering the paranoia, an appropriate course of medication and/or psychosocial therapy is employed to treat the primary disorder.
Because of the inherent mistrust felt by paranoid individuals, they often must be coerced into entering treatment. As unwilling participants, their recovery may be hampered by efforts to sabotage treatment (for example, not takingmedication or not being forthcoming with a therapist). They may also exhibita lack of insight into their condition or the belief that the therapist is plotting against them. Although their lifestyles may be restricted, some patients with PPD or persecutory delusional disorder continue to function in society without treatment.
curious,
I would classify you as being somewhere between a pickle and a prickle.
Maybe that would make you a cactus.
They say every rose has a thorn and I would say you could be mine but then I wouldn't dare compare myself to a rose or you as a pretty little thorn. You would be a long spike of a thorn, the kind found on cactuses and if you had been in charge of the crucifixion of christ you wouldn't have made his crown out of rose or bush thorns, but out of a bunch of cactuses.
What kind of cactus do you think you would be? There many kinds of cactus. Maybe you could spend your time looking up cactus and go to college and get yourself an education, rather than waste your time on me.
By the way, had the psych eval and it is "inconclusive" and I have NO diagnosis, which still means that slandering me as being mentally ill could make anyone liable to being charged in a court of law with defamation.
And by the way, that was the conclusion of the STATES psychologist, not mine. This was a woman PAID to make me sound as bad as possible and the best she could come to getting at me was saying "I don't know".
Apparently, the State enjoys taking children from "I don't know diagnosed parents" and in addition, refuses to accomodate for further testing by a real psychologist if results are inconclusive.
Did they schedule a new psychological? as I requested?
No they did not.
Did any of my public defenders request I have my own psych eval done, for my defense, which is a rule of thumb?
No they did not.
What they DID do, was save a lot of money by depriving me of any defense.
For Anonymous,
Please see the mark I made for the last comment.
I am not, and have not, been diagnosed as paranoid, not even by a licensed psychologist.
Neither should you, then, attempt to draw conclusions.
Especially when the rest of my mental health record supports that I am not ill but have been rather traumatized by what the STATE has done to me and my son, and some things which happened before this, bc of a dishonest law firm or two whose employees were not morally above water.
Thanks for adding to my support from others who know that your form of harassment is only going to eventually generate a counter-response in the end.
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