TTSOML #139: The "Doula"

Stacey encouraged me to take a "doula". She said she knew of some whose services were free.

Believe me, now I KNOW why they were "free".

A doula is supposed to be someone who assists the mother in the birthing of the child. I had told Christa I was looking for one online, to be present in the room with me during my delivery.

Sometime after that, Stacey brought up doulas THEY had, which were local and free. I looked into getting one. My family wasn't going to be there during the delivery. I had asked my parents to be there but they only wanted to arrive after the birth of the baby. If they had been there, and I'd had someone to yell for a doctor for me, things may have gone differently than they did.

So I took on this doula, and she said she wanted to come to my house and visit and get used to where I would be having most of my labor before she drove me to the hospital.

I now realize this was all a part of "inspecting" my house on behalf of the state or CPS or Stacey. I wondered then, because when she came in, she first did two things. She wanted to look inside my kitchen cupboards, and she wanted to look inside of my fridge.

She also had a camera with her, which she said was for taking photos of my belly, and she took some of my belly, but I also heard her snapping away in the other room when I was in the bedroom lying down.

I also thought it was odd she expressed "shock" when she found my cupboards and fridge were not only full, but full of very healthy and nutritious foods. There was zero "junk food". I didn't even have chips, or sweets. My cupboards and fridge looked like the shelves and stock of an organic healthfood store.

The other conspicuous thing was how she found an "exucse" to look in my cupboards and fridge. She came into my house with two items: a can of carnation evaporized milk, and a carton of half and half. She said she liked to use both in her coffee. Instead of just putting the can on my kitchen counter, like a normal person, she opened up my cupboard, and put it in my cupboard and I saw her scanning the items. Then she opened the fridge to put the half and half in. Oh, and when she opened the cupboard, she opened all of them, acting like she didn't know "which cupboard" or "where" to put the can of evaporated milk. I'm standing there, looking at the bare counter, and wondering...

During delivery, it was just me, Stacey, and the doula, and the doula didn't support me in the least. All she did was echo was Stacey was saying, and support Stacey. She was Stacey's support, not mine.

She tried to give me photos of my belly later and I refused to have any contact with her whatsoever. She had been a part of the harm done to me and my baby. I didn't want to be near her. I refused to go to the offices Stacey worked at as well, when they tried to pressure me to go inside to pick up my records. Actually, I think I did have to go to the waiting room, but when they told me I had to "meet" with Stacey in another room and go over those records, I left and told them to mail me the records.