About Oliver Today

I called again to see how he was doing, and to ask if they would keep me more informed about his interests and acitivies so I'm not in the dark and wondering all the time.

So Holly said she would try.

I asked about his eating and she said he's eating well right now. She has noticed his circles under his eyes too and said some days he eats well and other days he doesn't. So I asked her to start keeping track of which days, because usually my son will eat if he's feeling well and is happy, but he won't if he's depressed or feeling traumatized in some way. So I asked her to keep track for me. I hope she will, for me and for my son. A child's eating behavior shouldn't really change THAT much from day to day, unless something is sometimes wrong and then sometimes right.

I said I wanted to know if it happened more when he is at daycare or not. She said his daycare is fine and I said I am glad he gets to play with kids, but I have called over there before and heard him SCREAMING bloody murder at the top of his lungs and sobbing hysterically. Just sobbing like his heart would break, and sounding afraid. She said, yes he does that sometimes. I said he never did this with me where I couldn't comfort him. Then I asked her not to sound so disagreeable in front of him. She said he was eating and not paying attention and didn't know who was on the other end. I said it was just the tone I didn't want him to hear because he'd know she was upset, and then I added, he listens in when he's eating. He doesn't go on deaf just because he's eating. She said he's only 3 and I said he was very smart for 3 and I know he listens in on things and it affects him.

So we tried to get back to just discussing things and I felt she tried, as I did, to think about what might be helpful in the future. I don't think Holly knows how her tone sounds most of the time, or doesn't think it affects my son.

But then I heard Oliver scream, I thought, for "Mommy!" and then Holly said he was screaming at her, for "Holly", and then I heard him say "stop!" over and over and she said it was because she was wagging her finger at him for telling him not to play with his food. I thought he sounded afraid, but then that's when I said, if she would fill me in more, on what he's doing and where he's going and that sort of thing, it would actually help me because I wouldn't have to wonder all the time.

I have been getting absolutely zero information or updates on my son at all. I don't even know when he's having a 104 temp or not, so I said I might not sound so inquisitive if I were not kept in the dark about everything so that I had to ask.

So, it ended well, I felt, because Holly said she would try to do this. And I appreciate it! I think I should KNOW what's going on with my son! And, I think they're doing a good job but I'm very intuitive about him and can help with advice and ideas to help not just him, but them, because I know how he ticks.

I honestly think they're doing a good job or not treating him that much differently than their own kids, maybe, but I don't always know what's going on and what is also, well, I think a very big issue is how VASTLY different my parenting style is with some of those in my family. It's just a very very different idea of how to raise kids and I feel this has had an effect on him. It's not that their way is "bad" but it's different, and different ideas work with different kids. Not all kids are exactly the same, but I also do know a great deal about child development and child psychology, as well as knowing my own son, so this helps me in assessing what his needs are or what's troubling him or what might challenge and excite him.

I felt, last night, maybe I couldn't get anywhere anymore with my mom's side, but I feel maybe it's possible, if I can discuss things with my aunt and she's agreeable and Pablo's been fine too. So, maybe it's possible we can all work together.

I told my neighbor last night, about how he said, nodding, "I need to save some boys from a fire!" very seriously. It was SO cute. And then I keep thinking about how he put that gummi bear in his mouth and didn't "eat it" and then spit it out for me with this huge grin. Cracks me up.

I need everyone to work with me on getting Oliver what he wants back. I need the Avilas and the Bairds to work with me and Oliver and be encouraging and positive and to fill me in on more, not so I can criticize more but less and add helpful tips. I need the Garretts to jump in and help as well. I need everybody.