Met A Paranoid Schitzophrenic Today

Today was a good day. After a short time of picking up on a negative vibe (and then getting back home and finding out exactly WHY--someone trying to kick me out again with a note), everything resolved.

I don't know how my situations will be resolved, but I am still trying. I'm doing my best and I still intend and mean no harm to anyone.

I met some interesting people today and I am not supposed to divulge identities so I won't. But I met a military guy who made me think again about policy for Veterans, and then I met someone, for the first time in my life I did, with paranoid schitzophrenia.

It was really interesting because there were no correlations with what he described and how I have ever viewed the world or from anything I've experienced. However, I wasn't quick to discount what he was describing and wanted a lot of information first. I asked good questions.

I listened for over an hour.

It might not seem good to associate with people of severe mental disability if I'm actually being defamed to attack my credibility, but I didn't look left or right. I did what I felt was right, to listen to someone who wanted to talk and broaden my own perspectives.

There is a saying that you are known by the company you keep, but this only goes so far. It is more important, I think, to be able to sit with various kinds of company, and be comfortable, and learn something. Not all the time, but every now and then.

I know that it's not good "PR" to hang out at homeless clubhouses or shelters and socialize, especially when I'm being discredited with claims of mental illness. I think about that. But I would hope that I am more interested in being inclusive of people from every walk of life, than just those groups which "could do something for me."

So I'm listening to this guy and at first, I couldn't make any judgment calls. When talking about everyday events, he sounds totally normal. But then he started telling me about what "happened" and it was out there. Still, I know "out there" things can happen. So, lol, my first question was if he'd ever been in the military. He said no. The reason I asked is because the U.S. HAS done and DOES do "experiments" on US citizens, but usually it's military or already government employed persons (maybe slightly less liability or more easily observed--think MK ULTRA).

But no, he has a perfectly normal background, and never angered or reported any kind of group, never had litigation, never was in government or military positions, and really doesn't have any kind of background to suggest he might have been "of interest".

Not to say ordinary people aren't sometimes used in government experiments.

But then I listened to what he was saying and there are too many things that don't add up to make it even slightly plausible that he was ever even a subject for an experiment or anything. When he started talking about his "inner ear waking up" that's just too out there. I can believe seeing bright lights and things, but when he said this, I asked if he'd had any injuries in the auto accident he was describing. He hadn't had any injuries. I was thinking, maybe even whiplash could do that. But there was never an injury.

So, no injury to cause distortion AND no motive for anyone to have ever targeted him or even a chance for him to be easily observed.

So he kept talking, and in that framework, along with the fact that he kept using odd phrases in general, it was clear he truly had paranoid schitzophrenia.

He hears voices, audibly, and sees things, literally. He hides from "them" and everything is coming from a satellite and talking to him through an actual physical radio. Like, he has his radio on and someone talks over the music or something. What I don't discount, is the fact that some experiments HAVE been done, in the past, according to declassified US materials, which prove experiments using sophisticated technology was done even decades ago.

The thing is, it's not being done on an actual radio that is used for public broadcasting where only one person hears a different thing than the rest of the listeners hear. And, he isn't just hearing audible voices, he talks back to them, and he actually sees things in front of him when he should be alone.

I believe in miracles and supernatural events, on rare occasion, but in all, there was very little to suggest that even with the most broad and liberal observation, this guy could have been subject to anything other than actual mental illness.

He asked me if I had any of these symptoms and I told him I didn't, but that some people don't really know what the disorder is about and they don't know the symptoms. They also don't know how to differentiate between possible experimentation, gang violence or misuse of technology, and political motive. He asked about me and I said the only thing about me which might lead someone to actually reasonably "wonder" were the things I say happen which have sometimes been "psychic or intuitive", and my "images".

But the psychic things are normal and people can related to at least knowing someone who had a dream of something that later came true, or intuited something, and then there are very skilled people who do this too, with accuracy. So that's not abnormal.

I told him I speak about "seeing colors" and images, but it's all in the minds eye, which is just another description of imagination. I told him, for example, and author gets an idea in their mind, and "sees" something, might even have different colors or ideas come to mind, and then uses that to write with. Similiarly, a musician will "hear" or "think of" a melody and then go to their instrument and compose something that has come to mind. I've done this, while writing songs for the guitar. But all of that is basically imagination.

I have imagination, I have intuition, and, unfortunately,

I've had enemies.

This does not make me "paranoid schitzophrenic".

I also have groups who wish to discredit me so I can point to plenty of motive for some who would want to claim I'm just mentally ill and then write me off as such.

I'm not quick to judge anyone, not even someone talking about "satellites". You really have to listen and be open minded and educated, and then use good judgment at the same time.

If you're not educated about both real possibilities AND signs and symptoms of true mental illness, it isn't possibly to make correct judgements about others. There are some who wouldn't have even listened to this guy for more than 10 minutes before deciding on something. Which is, I guess, apparently what happened with him and his psychologist. He said he had only been talking for less than 10-15 minutes and the psychologist came back with a diagnosis and medication prescription for Seroquel.

Even if someone initially "sounds" crazy, I don't believe it's correct to make such rash judgements, simply because what someone is saying is so far out of ones own understanding, concept of the world, or realm of experience and education. I listened to this guy for over an hour, and I asked a lot of questions and only after all of this, did I think he was truly mentally ill.

What I started saying to someone else who was there, though, was that it is really horrible what has been done to SOME, very few individuals, by government or others, who do experiments or harm or medicate others without their knowledge and/or consent. One woman there spoke up because when I asked if he was in military, she told me her relative had been approached by someone in government, during the MK-Ultra era and actually asked if he would consent to this experiment. He said no, but he was someone who was first asked about consent. There were others who didn't even know it was happening, and they were observed and probably thought they were losing their minds, or didn't know WHAT to think, and who would believe them?

I said I think it's really mean and cruel to think that this happens to some people, even if it's just a few, and they are never validated and their lives are affected and no one comes in to make the statements necessary to correct the wrong ideas. I said, usually no one knows it was even going on until decades later when stuff is declassified.