Feedback On Lucretia Krebs

I was upset or astonished, but not crying over it. Just stunned at how "out-there" Krebs' "eval" was. I ran it by several people and all are saying it is so outlandish and extreme it's on the side of comical and difficult to even take seriously. Basically, no one believes any of it.

It's almost like, if it had been more subtle, it would have possibly gone through just fine. However, because it's so extreme, no one believes it at all. They all say she is crazy.

Also, it has been really concerning, to some I talked to, that she even brought up the bit about "maybe she has to hit rock bottom first, and then commit a CRIME and go to jail..." (if I don't receive psych drugs and "respond").

To tell a normal person to take psych drugs is almost criminal in itself. Not only that, even for those who ARE mentally ill, these kinds of medications actually DAMAGE the brain. Science proves it CREATES brain damage and can even cause death. Death, of course, being more rare.

Krebs and her instigators are angry over one thing, and disapprove of one thing about me: that I have a voice and that I found it and wouldn't just allow people to walk all over me at some point in my life. The fact that I went from being a silent doormat, to voicing objections, is too much for them to take.

These people cannot even accept apologies. Not even after years have passed. Instead, I have people who want an excuse for their own behavior, at the very real risk of the lives of me and my son. The things that have been DONE to me and my son are criminal.

Everyone on the East Coast knew how this was going to play out if I went back to Washington State. They already knew.

There are a whole bunch of internationals besides, who are probably wondering what the HELL is going on and why individuals who work for the United States government, the state, are going to such lengths to trash me.

What kind of faith do people, outside of the U.S., even have of this "system" when they get to know me on a daily basis and see all the claims were false and that I was gainfully employed there, when I was still "so ill" supposedly.

I would think people like Krebs and some of these state workers are a very real embarrassment to the U.S. Yeah, I'm not Princess Di. But believe me, I got international exposure on the East Coast, and they ALL know.

I just wonder what in the world they're thinking!

So anyway, I calmed down because I know it's trash and know almost everyone knows this too. My dilemna is where to get an independent eval, or hey! I'm actually thinking this is SO bad, I might even want to play into this, in some kind of creative way.

Think! think! think! before they quash your spirit! Think!

The most bizarre thing, is that I am not crying and I'm not "angry" either. And even when I was first stunned and upset, I felt a total peace, and knew something about my life is right. Something beneath the surface, and it has nothing to do with these problems and all the complications. It's not the prayers of my family either. It's something different. There is something very positive in the world or beneath the surface that has broken through and even if hey, I'm not the lucky one, I feel lucky to experience the positive energy from it. Someone or something, was set free, it feels, in some small way, very recently. It's okay if it wasn't me. I am very happy about it, whatever it is that's gone right in the world or the lives of some.

Oh, one funny thing, I said to this guy tonight, I told him about how the parenting evaluator had said my remedy to become a good parent was to "make ammends with the Wenatchee medical community" and everyone says the same thing: "that's weird" and this time I added, "Yeah! It's like saying, 'Ms. Garrett, we believe your parenting will improve once you make up with Wall Street. Or no, Ms. Garrett, you should make peace with Merril Lynch and then it might be possible for you to parent well."

I got to joke around with a couple different people tonight. There's this one guy I talk to almost every night and he knows there's nothing wrong with me. He laughed and kept saying it was so crazy and he'd never heard of such a thing, ever. His eyes were HUGE when he heard I was an alleged opiate abuser or addict. I said, "Yeah, all the dealers are wondering where I'm getting it for free."

I bet this town thinks I'm so smart, I figured out how to make narcotics myself, out of baking soda and some kitchen cleaners. (get thee to a penitentiary!)

At any rate, people in this town all know already, that I am not any of the things Krebs claimed I was.

At first, I was pissed some might get a kick out of it but then I realized, they know it's not true but think they might convince others of this? So I realized there is no pleasure or satisfaction when the whole world knows it isn't true in the least and it won't stick.

It was overboard and backfired.

But I'll defend against it anyway, because I am not going to have anything that is written down, go undefended, even if this one sort of is so extreme it's one of those "no comment" deals. It's "no comment" for today in history but I will make sure there is an accurate record for the rest of history. I know people here and NOW know what the truth is, but I won't allow it to go into a historical record like this, when history will depend upon who has written the most and made a record.

I should have been blogging more, not less. And I'll pick it up again, to clarify visitation notes and other things, for my son.

I would blog less if I saw an increase in visitation, but I wonder at this. My lawyer said he talked to the AG who agreed it was best for my son to see me more. We'll see what happens.

I may end up needing to contact the newspaper again after everything, but I am still holding off for now.

The only way Diana beat back her detractors and claims about her "instability" was to be public, as much as possible. If she was in the public eye, and recorded, and seen and heard, she was safe, because the general public could see for themselves, a woman functioning.

A written record is good, and a videotaped record is even better.

I'll jump through hoops, but every single thing hereout, is being recorded. As much as I can, it is public and recorded. I am going back to make sure I have whatever I need on record, even if it's only in draft form initially.

I should have an independent evaluation, basically, and someone said to me, not to fight this one but just a new one. SO, if I can, I may do that for now. I'll have the head scan in the meantime. I would like to have the opportunity to prove I have migraines. This will be good and any head exam that wouldn't detect this, isn't a good head exam. Migraines have a very specific show of appearance on the brain. It's absolutely something that can be evidenced.

Of course, like we all know, then there are some MRI's that are better than others, as everyone found out, while I was in D.C. One MRI said there was "nothing" wrong with my back and the next one showed herniated discs.

I could have died over there if I didn't finally have some normal radiologists who not only detected the herniated discs, but spoke up in shock, that I still had miscarrige products all along and had to have surgery.

I had SOME try to claim I was "delusional" and a hypochondriac over there too, and fortunately with my persistence and blogging and some good people, I got the truth out. If I hadn't been able to blog...

I would probably be dead already.

No one would have cared or ever known what happened to me. I would have documented nothing and no one could have seen to it I was finally treated.

So to those who tell me to quit blogging and say "What good has it done you?" I answer back, "It has saved my life more than once."

Three cheers for free speech and the amazing medium of the blog, in getting word out, from the mouth of ANYONE who wants to write. History is no longer controlled by large newspapers and bought. History is what you make it and what you write for yourself.

So start writing!

Writing your own story could save your life. I don't know who this might apply to, but it has helped me. Even if it's hurt me much of the time, it has helped me more than harmed me. You may think you're poor, or unimportant, or that it doesn't matter, but your voice does make a difference and should be heard and out there, as a preservation for your own family and children and friends, and the world really. Someone could take courage and strength from what you yourself endure and are brave enough to write about. Nothing to fear but fear itself.

Thank you God.