Monday, November 2, 2009

My Mental Diagnosis by State Psychologist

I have no idea.

I haven't heard.

Not that it would hold up really solid when she only saw me for a total of 3 hours which included my taking the entire full version of MMPI (500 questions) and a parenting evaluator test. Which, interestingly, the state made no mention of in the last filed document.

They made a point of mentioning my I.Q. test, the MMPI, and my blog, and how it seemed incongruent, but no mention of the parenting evaluation test.

Why?

Because, frankly my dear, it's incongruent with the notes made about my visits and with the parenting evaluator's assessment.

I nailed that parenting test because I know what good parenting is, and this is what I practice. What doesn't add up, is how my philosophy or beliefs, which are right-on in the parenting test, how these ideas don't supposedly flow with what is written about my parenting style.

I guess I really must NOT know how to parent. Hmmm...Here's food for thought for those who are a little bit hungry today and want something to chew on or mull over...

Okay...Jury call!

If I am being evaluated for my PARENTING by a professional, who comes in to sit and observe and write a report...
If I actually KNOW what I'm doing and what it takes to be a GOOD parent, wouldn't I be shooting myself in the foot to do exactly the opposite in practice?

I mean, if I aced a complicated parenting TEST at the psychologists' office, which the state failed to mention I aced, why would I then backtrack and do something stupid and not apply the same practices at the evaluation??? It would be stupid.

So something isn't adding up. Something is very incongruent.

Either the parenting evaluator is lying about my skills and doing favors for someone, or I am a total idiot to know how to score well on a test and how to parent and yet not even apply that to my own child when I KNOW ahead of time I am going to be observed.

My idea:

My whole idea is that the state needs SOMETHING on me, to justify this whole thing. I've told everyone, "Hey, I'll go for kinda crazy". I have NEVER said I would go for mentally DISABLED to the point that I am allegedly unable to "work" nor have I ever said I would go for the idea that I am an awful parent with horrible parenting skills when I was successfully employed as a nanny and in childcare for years and then for my own child, who is still remarkably bonded to me despite all that's been done to him by the state.

So, yeah, sure, I'll give you kinda crazy. You want to diagnose me with something and tell me I need counseling? fine. I'll even pop a pill, but only right before the UAs when everyone knows I need nothing on a daily basis.

But NO, I am not going for:

1. BAD MOM with BAD parenting skills, or
2. SEVERELY DISABLED mentally ill MOM who cannot even work because of SEVERE DISABILITY.

No.

You can have something, and you've already taken quite a lot. But you're NOT going to take away my whole life and reputation. You're also not going to besmirch a mother whose son is devoted to her and adores her and deserves to know the truth.

What I cannot control, which has been handled nicely by Judge Hotchkiss and the state gangs, is that I have been absolutely BLOCKED from getting an objective documentation or evidence of what the visits are actually LIKE. WHY BAN audio tape of the visits unless you want to lie about the content of the visit? It doesn't harm the child, in any way, to not even know the visit is audio taped. The only party it would hurt, is one which might be lying.

Like I've said before...yeah, I won't fight you or "it" if it's easier to just jump through hoops and give the state SOMETHING at this point. I'm willing to do this. I've said it and I mean it.

However, when visitation isn't increased beyond 4 hours a week, this isn't fair to my son, especially when just months ago the AG said, to my then lawyer, that they ALL felt visitation should be increased. My sons needs do not waver whether or not I have a public defender. His needs are constant. If he needed more visitation with his mother MONTHS ago, and the state agreed, then he STILL DOES and yet they've backed out on it. This is suspect, to any normal person.

What I still don't understand either, is why the parenting evalutor made a deliberate POINT to state, in her recommendations, that to improve my "parenting" I should resolve my "issues" with the Wenatchee medical professionals. As IF I sat there and talked about Wenatchee medical professionals to my SON. She wrote this in her report, not once, but TWICE.

I have no further comment at this point, besides to mention it has been ME who made steps to resolve conflicts with Wenatchee medical professionals, not the other way around.

If there are still "issues", Ms. Amy Pugsley should take them to the medical boards herself and make a petition on my son's behalf. Not to mention I wonder who SHE is connected to or related to in this area. Pugsley was the parenting evaluator.

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