My Day...A Turn Around & Princess Di Tickets

Today was a little bit of a turn around. There is this pervasive sadness or something "out there" and I don't know what's going on, but I do know, I feel that for whatever reason, some people are rallying for me to be with my son again. It's a crucial point right now, but I believe it's possible, even when it's been so absolutely impossible when it never should have been.

I got some things done today. I did some reading too.

First of all, I managed to get the hair analysis out of the way. I wanted to go back one full year instead of just 3 months, because it would show an even better picture of the fact that I'm not some habitual user at all, but it was recommended I just go back 3 months for now. So that's what I did. If I need to do it again, or need to have hair samples to prove I didn't use ANYTHING when my son was taken or in my care rather, I still have that hair on my head. My hair is down to my waist so that's about 3 years. I hate having it this long, but I'm keeping it because I "might" need it. Hopefully I do NOT need to use it and if this resolves, I will be so happy to cut my hair! To at least shoulder blade level. I just put it up when it's this long.

I am also happy to say the only smug or dirty look I got today came from one very well off woman in a silk scarf in a white SUV. I felt, this is okay. Some things are mellowing out. I am not looking at people to see their reactions as much--just trying to go about my business. I smiled more today though, at whomever I came into contact with. So I'm making eye contact when I pass by people directly but not when I'm just out walking or about. It's better. I don't need to notice every single thing.

I am also happy that I got to run across across a lot of salt of the earth and meek of the earth types too, today. God bless.

My other "find" of the day was to go to the bookstore and find ALL of these Princess Di books were new additions. At least 10 or so. I felt guilty, like a schoolgirl when I found them and piled them up in my arms. I really felt very solid while pouring through them. A little embarrassed at myself, by my own interest, but I felt a strong sense of peace. I was totally absorbed, even if I was generally skimming. And! I found something interesting in the very first one I opened up! Tickets!

Well, I guess someone had returned a bunch of books or the bookstore bought some that were new and came in.

In the first book I cracked, it was a photo book, and there were two tickets there, from a Di dress auction. They read:

3 PM, GA4313 JCHIL
3 PM admission for Childrens Hospital Presents "Dresses For Humanity" Exhibition of the Dresses of Diana Princess of Wales (Pacific Place--Seattle), Friday May 28, 1999.

So I've decided they will be good luck and I'm keeping them. The book was "A Tribute To The People: Diana" and it's a photo book. I scanned this one and then I scanned the next one which just happened to be on my stack...

"Diana's Boys" by Christopher Andersen.

I feel I've taken a purveyors interest now, now that I'm not "delving into details of her case". I've just become some kind of celebrity fan. Which is alright. Maybe safer if nothing else (I still have a secret wish to meet shhh...Richard Tomlinson and the Well's woman, the witness who went into hiding, but maybe after I have bodyguards and a good iron gate.)

For whatever reason, I skipped the first couple of chapters. I ended up starting with the part about William "The Basher". I had no idea. I opened up to William at age 2, and his temper tantrums and rep. Mr. Bossy Boots. hahaa. I did not know one single thing about any of this. All I ever saw about the boys was the couple of clips from Youtube that I watched which showed they were highly intelligent and well mannered.

I thought it seemed charming. I think, though, my favorite parts, the parts which had me laughing out loud, were the following:

1. The photo of Great Granny's dress flaring up in the wind like a Marilyn Monroe dress over a vent, with Will standing by. I don't know how he managed to keep a straight face. It should be framed next to the Monroe version. I love it, and I love the look on her face, and on his face. It is hilarious. 1997.

2. The part where Granny gets hit by a water gun and as water is dripping down her nose onto the corgi, says without flinching, "Good shot." Reading this was the first time I laughed out loud all day, from something I read. I could just picture it.

3. The part about Will's initials on his Eton jacket which end up being "W.O.W." hahaa. That is equally hilarious.

That's as far as I got. The times I laugh the most are when reading juxpositions of shock and about something that just "isn't done". Like, imagining the looks of the Queen over certain things that don't meet protocol, or at photos or the idea of Charles visiting the bust of a murdered IRA relative while The Queen Mother is visiting some other very serious bust and then there's the Elizabeth II duly celebrating the unveiling of the Zoo's new dung beetle. lol. I don't know why one of the royals doesn't just bust out and write a straight up comedy. If any group could do situational humor! It really cracks me up to imagine some of the scenes. Or Di telling a story with "...the things I do for England" added. I just read she used to say THIS! And I used to say to my friends not long, "The things I DO for this country!" in a joking way.

It IS really, really, odd, how many bizarre things I have in common with Di. Not any of the upbringing of course, but just small things I never read about and then come across and it's a total deja vu. But maybe it's that thing where you like an orange car and then you start seeing orange cars everywhere. I don't know. I am saying to myself, in awe..."and I went on a hayride when I was 16 too!" Very silly, but I wrote about it in one of my diaries. The harvest party hayride where I still remember the young man making advances in my direction, which I put aside. But really, who HASN'T been on a hayride? It's just that I read some of these small bits, and I would bet someone might even think I make some of this stuff up AFTER I do reading, but I don't. I'm still discovering things. Which is why I'm intrigued I guess.

I don't think I'm just like her though, just had a lot of similiar things happen or similiar interests. I sound more like Camilla when it comes to housekeeping. Oh, the other thing, a total tangent, is how cute Harry's nose looks in one of his photos with his mother. His profile when he was a child is really sweet. William has the Irish eye look as a child and Harry has this little knob nose. I don't know. It's cute.

Anyway, I cannot relate to all the hunting. I mean, Tiggy was out there skinning rabbits? Uggggh. Gross.

I am not into killing things. I do like to eat pheasant but I don't want to kill it. Maybe shoot pop bottles but that's about it.

At any rate, the more I read, the more eerie it gets. I mean, really. A very odd kind of almost deja vu. I had kept myself from reading too many of the personal details for a very long time, and I was unaware of a lot. But now, looking back, I think about things people have WANTED me to notice and have pointed out to me...Really strange things, like, now that I've seen what the pony Souffle looked like, I mean, in Seattle, someone is pointing out a Shetland pony being walked along the beach and the man walking the pony is waving at ME. And coming my direction as well. I swear some people either think I'm a reincarnation or they want to make me nuts or think I already know about this stuff or they think I'll recognize what impact it's supposed to have. Most recently, someone playing clips of her favorite soap opera, in my presence. A man? Who is in the military? Sorry, but he doesn't seem like the soaps type. I seriously wonder what the hell the point is.

Someone of stature or connection must have been interested in me and then brought attention on me and others wanted to make me looks nuts. OR, people knew of my interest and since some want me to be "nuts" anyway, thought they'd capitalize on trying to make as many odd coincidental things occur as possible, but why spend the time? So maybe it was to have me write about every single thing and just SOUND crazy? I don't know.

I've recently met more people with guns and had a couple of veiled threats about my personal safety. Why, I don't know. But I hear a lot about Monroe, and Di, and J.F.K. I think it's just a cover for something else. Or for a few things. I don't know and don't want to know! I just want my son and it shouldn't be difficult. I have people now stepping in who want to help out too.

I have a lawyer now too, whom I spoke with today who thinks we might be able to get more visitation time between me and my son, which would be an excellent thing.

I do have other interests though! The first book I picked up, before the Di books in fact, was "Banana" by Dan Koeppel. It's a serious book but sort of sounds like it might be funny because of the byline, which read, "Ambitious in scope...both fascinating and disturbing."--The Boston Globe. Disturbing? Bananas? I HAVE to know!