New Perspective & Visit With Son

I listened to some alternative this morning and the first thing that came on was Panic at the Disco: London Looks for Money (or something like that) and I kept thinking about how much I like Panic at the Disco!

I had the sad vibe last night and all the way through to this morning until after I was in my visit with my son. I woke up again too, but this time around 4 or 5 in the morning but I fell back asleep but knew someone was thinking of me. I just felt it. All day yesterday I felt really good, and very positive and strong, and then by evening when I was home, the sadness sort of until this morning and then it left when I was with my son and isn't back.

The first song of the day I played on my own is Panic at the Disco's "New Perspective". I really like the groove of this song.

I know for sure, I told my ex last night, something is different. My computer isn't doing the weird thing anymore. I said to him, I don't know what happened! Oh! maybe it's because it's a holiday today??? I didn't know how it was being done, but it quit. I don't know how it was possible. But either someone got ahold of my computer, or a satellite burst into flames, or whatever kind of mechanism was used to do certain things, well, that person was livin' it up somewhere in The Tahaiti's or something. On vay-cay (hope it's permanent). I'm just glad.

Also, my son CONTINUES to improve with his speech and just sounding like he is able to process things.

I am drinking Earl Grey Tea and noticed the brand is "Twinings of London" and it reminded me last night of something I told a guy whose cell phone I used, I said this vibe thing makes me feel like I have a twin out there. I said that would really explain it, if it's not a soulmate. If it's not some family thing or maybe general world news thing. I don't know. I say all of this though, and I should retract because I am sure it's just random. I told one guy, I was smoking cigs and then got off of it with liquor and liquor is a depressant so my equilibrium or whatever is off. I think I need to be exercising to get the endorphins back. I would run but my knee doesn't hold up all the way.

I noticed some rash or something around my son's mouth and a little on his back, but I wouldn't know why and it could be from playing and I said nothing to him.

In general, he was in a good mood.

I DID notice, my son looked sad, because I saw him come in, UNTIL he saw me and then everything just totally changed. He got this huge smile on his face and just didn't stop. He left more easily, without problem or turning back, but I think it's because he knew Sue and felt more secure about where he was going. But he didn't want to leave again, and stalled and stalled. We had a really nice time.

So first he came in and lots of hugs and kisses. Then he wanted to know what I had for him to eat. I had strawberries, granola bars, dark chocolate, and popcorn. He went for the chocolate and LIKED it, I was suprised because it was 85% cocoa, but he liked it. I made a comment about it and the monitor said she thought he had very good taste, or "expensive" taste, by the kinds of things he chose to eat and liked. He did say he liked the Godiva milk chocolate better than the dark.

He really wanted to work in activity books today. I said what in particular and he said "Mazes!" We went through a few activity books doing mazes and he traces some letters and worked in a preschool book. He used his right hand when he was holding a pen and Sue thought maybe help him learn how to hold it and then I commented to him that he could use whichever hand he preferred and then he got shy.

More than anything he wanted to look at the water fountain. I brought in a new water fountain and he was fascinated by this and how the motor pushed water up and into the spouts and how the water cascading down. He described it, "And then it goes down, down, down, and down, here,". He would run from his activity books to go look at the water fountain. I felt like we were almost in a real preschool, or Montesorri, with him alternating between activities and learning letters and how to write and follow directions, to looking at what I had brought in for "show and tell."

Then he wanted me to read a Strawberry Shortcake book about a Secret Valentine. He made me read it 3 times. And it's a long book! It's about how Strawberry Shortcake is trying to figure out where her secret valentine came from. I think he liked the photos of all the candy houses. He definitely knows what he wants when he wants it because I tried to suggest other books after the first reading and he said "No." When he says No, he MEANS it and doesn't waver. There is no indecision in him at all, which is completely the opposite of me. I can never make up my mind.

He really wanted to have a pillow fight, so we did. I think I was the first to introduce him to the sport (cough, cough--I sort of regret it).

He learned how to manufacture a real burp today too. I didn't encourage it but he did it, at least once.

He also attempted to climb up a door like he was rock climbing. He held onto the handle and started walking up the door with his sneakers on. He had his feet up by his hands. The monitor and I just looked at eachother.

He still says he likes playing with tractors best. He likes watching things work or things that make other things work.

At any rate, a nice visit. He is very affectionate and very active. He had his sense of humor with him today too. I was bouncing him on my knee as he sat in my lap eating strawberries and a burp accidently escaped and I looked at him and said in mock surprise,, "Oops! A burp! Like a baby!" and he cracked up laughing. He totally got it and then that's when he tried to imitate it again for jokes.

I felt bad though, that he had to leave. He really likes it that I give him a calendar and today when Sue said, "10 minutes" he piped up, "SUE! 10 minutes?? Where's the clock? I don't see a clock." And Sue said, "It's on my wrist." He said, "You have 10 minutes on your arm?"

UPDATE: I'll fill this in as much as I can. I want to add more details just so the record of the entire visit, from my viewpoint, is recorded and can't be lost. There were a couple of other things and I should note everything.

One thing my son said, before we were in the room, while we were walking to it, was, he said, "I was very scared, I was afraid, so then I went back to sleep". It was one of the first things he said to me that morning and when I first saw him, before he saw me, he looked piqued and sad but then totally brightened up. I asked him, "You woke up last night? or this morning and you were afraid but went back to sleep?" "Or, when was this honey?" and I'm sure the monitor heard this part and he didn't say so I dropped it. But since he brought it up out of the blue, I inquired to encourage him to talk if he wanted to. He may have had a nightmare or something.