Adversaries

I am relating to "do not cast your pearls before swine" today.

I am so tired of people trying to shapeshift what I write or "get" and attempt, desperately, to import some other meanning.

If I say I saw a double rainbow, someone is telling me they saw on in a sprinkler, or, in the case of this housemate, while I appreciate I might be a good sender of some sort, and he got it, when he was doing the random bible thing, he didn't do it random at all, but hunted for spikenard and then said that's what he got. It doesn't work that way for me.

I have had people try to turn and twist the meanings of almost anything I write about or feel. And really trying to dumb it down to the lowest common denominator.

I don't need others to assume what meanings are for me, and the only time I would listen to a symbolic approach, or randomness, is, for example, when I once went to this fortune teller in D.C. and she was pretty right about everything and wasn't messing around. I didn't have them or others hanging around trying to make something else fit, like I say I saw myself going to a Sox game and then here, someone wants to give me a sock with holes in it and say, "I was just thinking of you for some reason and wondered if you could use a pair of socks."

Or, the pair of white pants someone "got" for me which everyone knows are butt ugly and a mockery I think of a comment i once made to an old fling, about how I wanted a pair of white pants when he asked what I wanted. that was in the early 2000s before they were in style in Oregon but they were in style in Paris, and I saw them and loved them. They had a high waist, and were wider legged, which wasn't the style then.

Here and the last place, if I so much as mentioned anything that rang right about a member of the royal family, ever since I wrote this phrase about "you can't fight destiny--yes you can, tooth and nail..." ever since I wrote that, someone decided a cool ritual was to begin furiously hammering away at something, but only with nails of course. I guess, symbolically "fighting" what someone somewhere wanted to worry was "destiny" oriented.

And then all this "goodbye" stuff as if the "hello" from P. William on his magazine, as if I think it was for ME and so people have been parading around their pink stuff and flashing "goodbye" all over the place. And I am NOT kidding.

This morning I was brought a platter of pineapple with a hispanic accent from a white guy, I guess because someone assumes my cards from yesterday could only pertain to someone who is either hispanic or black, bc white people never suffer or are marytrs (actually, maybe not quite as much).

My meanings and what I get are open for my own interpretation and my own confirmation, not the desires of others. And when things are not ringing true and people are trying to make things out to mean something else than I know and feel in my spirit isn't intended, I have to cast it aside and wonder why people are trying so hard. Trying so hard to shape my own future or beliefs and I don't need help. Yesterday, after my mention of all the 2s in my cards, this guy comes in declaring dramatically that HE has to "Number TWO".

This guy even told me he turned down an invitation from Q. Elizabeth--she supposedly wanted to facebook him. And then asked me if she reminded me of a lizard. Which is bizarre because people have been making dumb lizard and reptile, tongue out, faces since my parents left town, and wanted me to get books about reptiles and dinosaurs for my son. Someone is getting directions from someone on what to do.

This is why this town doesn't want me to have an apartment of my own, because ALL of them are far too interested in having me monitored by someone who reports to someone else and spreads my actions, words, and habits all over the town and el mundo. Not ONCE have I been able to have my own place and even with how weird everything is, a high number are connected to military in some way so that makes me wonder too. It's like the objective is to keep me out of normal housing or privacy, to not only keep me down and degraded, but to report on every single thing that I do because people here and somewhere else too, just get OFF on it.

There are a lot of sick people in this town, as in, the majority don't know how to think for themselves or be normal. They don't want me to advance in any way and it's not just them, but the fact that they're rewarded for doing this by others who have more power than they and who do not want me to get ahead at all.

There is nothing better for these people to do, than to act out ridiculous pantomimes.

This guy asked me if I wanted to go to the Anglican chuch. I wonder why he wants to call it Anglican. It's Episcopalian. I wonder how long he's really gone there. This Pastor is the one who had the rainbow pony in his lobby and after spending 20 years in Jerusalem, and part-time in England, and born in the U.S., how am I supposed to know where he sides and aligns? I don't know. There have been a few individuals who are new to town, even from Virginia, who presented themselves to me one way, when they thought I was in a better position, and then really show their true colors and feelings later.

Who do I trust here?

No one.

Anyway, I thought I would try to focus more and prepare and try a tarot thing over, just to see for fun, because I doubted myself last time and maybe screwed it up, I don't know. On the first set, about who is my love, when I got the justice card it made me think of lawyer right away. But maybe someone who just studies it a little or is involved. No lawyer here though. Then the wands and looking out at sea made me think of an adventure or being on journey but I think I would like to try it one more time, for fun.

I didn't eat the pineapple. I had 2 raw eggs and granola bars. I have been taking my eggs Rocky style for the last couple of weeks and almost gagged at first, but I get them orgnaic and then just swallow them raw.