sneak peek at royal lines

my peek at royal news, was to read bylines from european politics page. i couldn't do more than read bylines, now petrified that the minute i open up an article, it's something which is going to promenaded about town or who knows where else. i haven't read a full article about them for at least a month, except one on elizabeth and then, i did look up 2 di clips the other day, just photos of her and that was all. and...umm...what else? i think that's all. i saw one of the bylines and saw that yesterday something about visiting eton and a song by "the jam" and all i had to read was "the jam" to think "Oh, i don't want to know!" bc "Marmalade" came to mind yesterday and i don't want to know why.

i swear, to GOD, that family really is naturally psychic. they are...all of them probably. i don't know if they're senders or receivers or both but i guess that's how one survives in such an environment, with some good intuitive skills.

i will say one thing. the other night, i did have this moment which will sound so dramatic and di-nuts but i'm really not, and yet, i was walking back to the house, and all of a sudden, i felt this LOVE for her. yes, i never knew her, but i felt very close like she was alive and at that moment, i looked to the left and there was this huge row of pink fragrant roses lining the walk that i hadn't even noticed until this thought first crossed my mind. i think it was an empathetic feeling or sensation somehow. i don't go about thinking these things, but when it was very strong. it was dark, and sometime between 9-12 at night and i just remember feeling very alone but very happy or a sense of joy somehow and she crossed my mind, even though i wasn't thinking about any of them at all, out of the blue, and then i thought it was interesting, because then i saw the roses.

it was within 4 nights past i think. possibly going back to last weekend. i just had this feeling for a moment, of, "i'm so glad" or "i just love her!"

which makes me feel like one of those di fanatics but i swear there has to be a reason. there were some people passing by in cars and trucks around this time and it crossed my mind, i wonder if someone who knew her or loved/loves her is around or thinking of her at this moment. i didn't know why it came to my mind bc i haven't even had time to read di books, not for a couple of months, and i don't think on it often. it just poppped to mind.

i was walking up miller, and then saw the low stone wall with a long hedge of pink roses to the right. it was dark but lamplight from the streets and they were not bright pink or dark or very pale, sort of the baby girl pink color or just pink pink. not salmon and not dark but that regular pink color, at least in the dark.

i think i'd taken a valium, so lets chalk it up to that!