Image While Listening to Scottish Music--THISTLES

I've had one image today. It was while listening to this program of scottish music I haven't heard before, on NPR I think.

I've heard a lot of good music today. Some worship music, some blues, some 60s, "Lean on Me" 3 times, almost in a row, but on different stations. I turned it on just as it was playing this song called "Cherokee" which was really beautiful.

For diversity, I heard a little baroque music but missed most of it and then this afternoon, found this scottish program. The second song that was played, I am not sure of the title but it was instrumental and it was, along with Cherokee, the main one which resonated with my spirit. I have to check the title. I felt the emotion at the start of the instrumental song.

Then, I closed my eyes for a moment, and all of a sudden I saw purple thistle. I figured sure, it was because I had just heard a Scottish woman talking and saying the Cherokee song was Scottish. But it was right there, and I could have had any number of images with the song, but this came to mind.

A few songs later, the announcer said, one could look up the program details online at THISTLEradio.com. When she said this, I said out loud, "Oh my GOSH."

It might be coincidental, but I saw thistles and then heard this is the name of the station. I should look up that song though. I thought it was described as "Hunter's Moon" but I am not sure if this was it, bc it was instrumental only. I don't know. I don't know if it's Hunter's Moon really--it was the one after the Cherokee song.
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Also, someone gave me these angel cards and I pulled one that said, "Child" today and tacked it up to my wall. I also pulled out the page I opened to from a Daily Scripture book, and it is about giving and other: Luke 6:38; I Corinthians 16:2; and Matthew 10:8 and then Matthew 19:29. Mainly verses about giving and receiving, storing up, and healing.

Then I pulled angel cards, 3 of them and got, after tacking up "Child", with illustration by Kevin Roeckle, to my wall: illustrated by Audrey Arena except for Trustworthy Guidance by Marius Michael George.
Go for it! Trustworthy Guidance, and Giving & Receiving.

The other day I pulled one from the stack, I think the first one I pulled random was "Steady Progress" and illustrated by Anne Yvonne Gilbert.
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Oh! hhaha. This made me smile, I went to the radio page, and it's thistle and shamrock as well, in name but found under thistle and there is a thistle there. I guess, since it has both the thistle flower and the actual thistle, I should clarify I saw the thistle flower, not the dried part. But sort of interesting.

I think I'm listening to Italian music now? or thought there were guitars and it's very good but very dreamy and I still have to get things done. It's sort of gone to East coast time night music and I took a nap today and have to get things done
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I am pretty sure I am coming off of some kind of medication. I am positive and I'm pissed I was ever put on crap to begin with and have had to deal with all these things I've had to deal with, which has kept me from getting anything done. I'm starting to sort of feel more like myself and focused.

Yesterday, I played Pacman and someone was probably noting the whole time as they do here. And I had TWO different accusations or questions about if I am on or use methamphetamines. I guess, because I played so long.

I just have the ability to focus for long periods of time, whether it's studying law, which I did for awhile and was dedicated to and couldn't be distracted from, or whether it's writing...when I used to practice singing, it wasn't for an hour, it was more like 3 hours everyday in high school. I can multi-task but I like, in college, longer projects I can get into some depth with.

This guy try to tell me he recognized me and said I asked him once if he had any "tweak". I stared at him and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about but I am not that person." So he insisted and I said, "What is tweak anyway?" and he looked at me and said, "You know, "Kris"". ?? I said, "WHAT? What's Kris? a kind of drug or something?" and he looked at me and I said I had to go and walked away and he yelled after me, "I know you must have tried it before."

Right.

So I told this other guy who accused me or asked if I DID use it and said why would someone ask and I said, "You must be joking." I asked him what tweak was bc I didn't know and the guy didn't tell me. He said, "How can you NOT know what tweak and kris is?"

I said, "I have not had friends in my life who "use" "tweak" or "kris" or use such slang." and it reminded me of when, several years ago, this guy asked me if I had any "reefer." I didn't know what reefer was. They couldn't believe I didn't know but I really didn't.

I have heard of "cocaine" in common language and "marijuana" by the technical term so I know. Now that I have, in my life, at one point (not with my son) tried marijuana, I know some slang for it, but I was never around it before.

I am sure I may have seen someone or people do it at some point perhaps, somewhere, later in life, but I wouldn't have known what it was and no one ever talked about it to me. I thought it was sort of weird he made this comment about "I'm sure you've done it" ...what was he looking for? some kind of admission?

I have never been asked about this before, so I figured it must have had something to do with someone noticing how I played PacMan ALL Day without a break and hardly eating, and thought I was on meth or something. Maybe told someone to scout it out or something. I thought it was weird.

I told this second guy, "Hey. If you don't believe me, why don't you check in with the fucking Pentagon and ask THEM because THEY know I've never done anything."

It's like someone still wants to try to find SOME kind of dirt on me because there was never reason or just cause to take my son from me.

Then, this guy said, "You DO use drugs. You have Valium." I said, "Yeah. So what. It's a prescription and I haven't even used as much as I'm supposed to take as directed. I haven't even used half the amount I was told I could take." I was given 15 tablets of 10 mg. on May 5th and I still have 9 tablets left. It should have been gone by now. I've used a 1/3 of what I could have used. I actually have about 7-8 left but one or two I lost bc I put part of the pieces in my pocket or bag and they disintegrated.

However, while I don't like it because it makes me tired, I think it does ease anxiety for getting some things done and now that I'm coming off of whatever I was experimented with, and not being targeted otherwise, I feel I'm sort of getting it back.

If I were doing all I wanted, I would be running and swimming and working out or dancing more for stress.

There is this therapist who I was upset to find some connections with, with others, when I otherwise really thought she seemed decent and I liked her room set up for children and even thought my son would enjoy spending time there with me, playing with some of the things there. It was very inspiring to be in the room, and made me think it must be rewarding to be a child therapist. But I am just planning on taking creative writing and painting as soon as possible.

I found maybe 2 women I sort of don't think I'll be close friends with, but maybe I think I can trust them in the sense that there is a mutual appreciation. It is hard to find.

This guy said, "You don't have any friends." I almost said, and what came to my mind was, "Yeah? So What. Neither does The Queen."

I mean, I'm to blame? when I can hardly trust anyone and for good cause? I'm just getting used to be the Friendly Stranger or, more recently, The Bitchy One. Usually, I say nothing at all, but now and then, a few snaps feels just about right.