Sunday, May 16, 2010

Honeymoon in Hell--Queen Of Hearts & asking about accident

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing--never study any of this stuff, but felt it was okay to have a look again and prayed, and really feel fine. As long as it's academic interest or I have the right "source" to go to in prayer, I feel okay with it. Especially after realizing it's not so much what a thing "is" but what you put into it. God used a donkey or mule to speak to a prophet. A total ass was the chosen vessel. And the same applies to everything, nothing is bad unless it's intent and motive is bad, I think.

So I overdid it a little, having no idea what any of it means but asking questions and when I got the same deck, there was "the devil" on the front of it. I think someone put it there or that's how I left it. But I also got this card for someone famous, "the fool" and was feeling bad for her so I did an alternate pull, and then I realized, it's not so bad to be the "fool" and that this can have different interpretations and could even be seen in some situations as a trump.

I also decided I don't have to shuffle to mix for upright and reverse cards. The original games weren't played with reversing. I feel it's fine to shuffle all upright, and with my bad job at it, some reversals turn up anyway and it's okay when they do. There are enough negative cards in the stack and enough chance for reversals randomly, to be shuffling for even odds.

The funniest thing I got, was this random question that came to mind and I asked, "Where will I spend my honeymoon?" and what card came up? The Devil. I thought, "In Hell?" maybe we won't have a honeymoon. I had pulled a couple of other cards with it for location but that one was on the top and so shocking I just quit then and there.

But then I found some of the symbols can mean totally different things which is why one should do this privately and meditate or have them before you so you can see them in order and then consider, knowing what the background is, what it might mean. For example, some cards are not just symbols for life but are signs for the birthdays on the zodiac (which I don't understand at all at this point).

The only time I pulled "The Fool" card, in all the shuffling and drawing for people that I did, it was for Kate Middleton and Chelsey. Which, when I first got Kate's, I felt bad about it and reshuffled the whole pack for an alternate one. But then I read the fool can be interpretated many ways, some very good and powerful --such as the fool can be triumphant bc the world assumes they are foolish but the foolish things of the world shame the wise...or sometimes merlin comes disguised as a beggar--that sort of thing. I thought it was interesting that I got this card for just those two women and I didn't draw for them first, but out of novelty, after drawing for my own family and then of course, out of curiosity, the royals, and then mainly my own life and future love and what to do to improve myself (besides the very most obvious).

I really love the imagery of the cards. They are truly beautiful and so artistic and symbolic, so it's just fun to look at them. I mainly used the Arthur Waite pack and then I found the medieval Scrapini to be interesting. If you take a look at the card for "The Devil" with the Scrapini pack you will understand why I was alarmed to get this card.

I drew cards again today, randomly and without worrying about how to shuffle. Then, I didn't spend tons of time, just asked simple questions and then hoped some of the same questions I asked yesterday would align or confirm what I got yesterday. Such as, might be different, but could be very similiar too or could mirror a situation. I thought I got some interesting things but I feel I'm not experienced or qualified to know how to read this stuff.

But this is what I got:
I asked again, "Who is he? where is he?"
1. 10 of coins
2. The World
3. 5 of coins
4. King of Wands
5. 2 of cups
6. Queen of wands.

In my last drawing yesterday I had the impression he's on a quest involving justice in some way. Or temporarily detained but suffers and yet is a charitable person.
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Next (all with Arthur cards) I went to the same question I had last night which was "what is he doing now or direction for him?" and got:
1. Judgment
2. The World (rev)
3. Ace of Swords
4. 4 of wands
5. King of cups
6. The High Priestess
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For direction for me:
1. King of coins, rev.
2. Knight of wands
3. Star
4. 7 of wands
5. The Magician
6. 11 of wands
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I asked about a loyal future friend, bc I need one, and got, for when and what will they be like or who are they already:
1. 8 of cups
2. star
3. 9 of coins
4. 5 cups, rev.
5. Knight of Swords
6. The Empress
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For money and success I asked "what will hold me back and what will move me forward?"
1. 8 of cups
2. Knight of Pentacles
3. Tower, rev.
4. The Hierophant
5. 6 of swords
I then realized I need one more card and got 6. Queen of Pentacles.
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Then for William of Wales, what's going on now, moment, not forever perhaps and I did this with all the royal immediates. I shuffled thoroughly and then pulled the first 6 from the top. Except with the Queen and Diana and maybe Charles, for some reaons, I pulled out cards from all over the deck, but while facedown.

Will of Wales:
1. The World
2. The Hanged Man
3. 11 of wands
4. 10 of cups
5. 5 of cups
6. The Tower
******************
Henry o Wales
1. The Sun
2. Page of Coins
3. 4 of wands, rev.
4. The Lovers
5. 4 of coins
6. Temperance
***********
For Diana I didn't know what to ask. I was between, how were things at the end of her life? and something about her accident? and got:
1. Queen of wands
2. 4 of coins
3. 2 wands, rev.
4. 10 of swords
5. 5 of swords, rev.
6. Queen of Swords, rev.
*************************
Queen E.
1. Page of swords
2. knight of cups
3. 4 of coins
4. 4 of cups
5. The High Priestess, rev.
6. 9 of cups
****************
Philip.
1. Tower, rev.
2. Lovers, rev.
3. Justice
4. Ace of cups
5. Ace of wands
6. The Moon
******************
Charles of Wales
1. Magician
2. Temperance
3. The Empress
4. Tower, rev.
5. The World, rev.
6. 8 of swords
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Camilla
1. The World, rev.
2. Ace of swords, rev.
3. 5 of coins, rev.
4. 9 cups
5. 9 swords
6. 7 wands
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Kate Middleton
1. The Fool
2. Sun, rev.
3. Queen of wands
4. 6 wands, rev.
5. 2 cups, rev.
6. 5 wands.
Then, I felt bad about the fool part so I reshuffled and got an alternate one:
1. King of wands
2. 10 swords
3. The Empress
4. 11 coins
5. 9 wands
6. Knight of swords
*****************
Chelsey
1. Page of wands
2. 5 of wands
3. The Fool
4. The Sun
5. Temperance
6. Judgement
*************
My mom:
1. 8 of wands
2. 3 wands
3. Judgement, rev.
4. The Hierophant
5. The World, rev.
6. Ace of swords, rev.

My Dad:
1. Ace of swords, rev.
2. 3 of cups
3. Ace of coins
4. King of swords
5. Wheel of fortune
6. Knight of cups

Brother:
1. Queen of cups
2. Hanged man, rev.
3. Tower, rev.
4. Page of swords
5. 9 cups
6. Death
(The death card was a scary draw also but I read it symbolizes many things, such as the end of one thing and beginning of another. It doesn't have to mean literal)
*************
Then I just sort of goofed off and got out the other deck, the Scrapini one and asked some of the same questions and also a few new ones, to see how they correlate or not. The drawings are really different in this deck.
I asked what kind of mate (wife, lover prefer wife), and got:
1. King of wands
2. Queen of wands
3. Knight of wands
4. Ace of spades (I didn't know what this card was bc no title and just spades and a sword with a wreath above and below)
5. 8 of swords (which had a man suffering and a doctor there as a healer)
6. The Magician

Then I asked, "What kind of mother am I?" (and will I be) and I got:
1. Page of cups
2. 3 of cups
3. 10 of cups
4. Queen of coins
5. The Moon
6. 2 of cups

I asked with this different deck, about my future man and just wrote "my man and where", and got:
1. The Star (hope)
2. Force (Strength)
3. Temperance
4. Hanged Man
5. 8 of swords
6. King of cups.
*************
Then, please don't take any of this, esp. this last part seriously...but I asked, "What is the true character of Kate M.?" and got:
1. Judgement
2. 2 of swords
3. 7 of wands
4. 2 of wands
5. 5 of cups
6. Death
Again, with death I feel it's not a negative but can be a positive and looking at the 2 of swords, with the other stuff, but not knowing much, is possibly a little judgmental or administrative in some ways but strives to be a good partner. I don't know what the other stuff in the middle is.

Then on impulse instead of drawing ALL of these cards, I thought, well, this will not be accurate at all, but...and I decided to ask the "true nature of" some of the royals but by only drawing 1 card and that's it. So maybe it's a "for the day" thing anyway.

Queen: The High Priestess, but in the Scarmini deck, it's Popess.
Philip: Knight of Coins and I thought this was funny because it features a huge horses' rear end.
William: 4 of coins (lots of swans & moons which made me think of Di)
Harry: Popess
Charles: King of Coins
Sarah, Di's sister: King of Cups
Diana: 9 of cups and an angel is featured on this card, blowing a trumpet
Charles, Di's Bro: Magician
Jane, Di's sis: 7 of swords
My Dad: 3 of swords
My Mom: Page of swords
Br: Wheel of Fortune
Chris D: King of swords
Alv: Page of coins
Mark: 10 of coins
Mike: 2 of wands
Priest: 5 of cups
Chris R: king of coins

But all this one card drawing is really irrelevant and just for fun.
********
i'm wondering why I got all these wands, for what kind of mate I would be and wondered if I shuffled enough but I really did, and I cut and recut and recut the stack. I suppose it's not a big deal. Sometimes I've randomly pulled cards and every single one is exactly the same thing.
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A couple of things which sort of stood out to me, were about Di in the Scarpini cards as an angel with a trumpet. The other thing was that the cards for William seemed more serious than Harry's but almost signifiying a slightly different nature. There was an Arthur card where it's a 5 of cups and a man is standing in a black robe facing the river with a bridge to the right. It made me think of sorrow about Di. Maybe past and not so much now, but that's what i thought. I haven't looked enough at all the cards and meanings. I liked how Scarpinis has no guide but is rich in symbolism and I felt it was powerful in its own way and I think I really like it. The 4 of coins in this deck is different from the Arthur one, but not right or wrong, I just like the variety and feel of both. Scarpinis' seemed weightier and the Arthur deck lighter. I also think it would be interesting to lay things out in a line at least and see how things appear, how one card might affect another. The other random suprise I got was pulling the Magician card for Charles, prince Charles, bc i know he knows a few magic tricks so I thought this was interesting but it's all random and I'm sure i pulled some things that make no sense at all. One of my favorite cards in the Arthur deck, is of the swords in the boat carrying the woman and child. It makes me think of the grail legend and of my son too.

I steered clear of drawing for my son. I drew about myself as a mother, but too leery of drawing for my son, except for one thing I did. I did one small past present future one from the Scrapini deck and something important stood out. It was of a boy holding a snake inbetween his hands. Attempts to harm but in the middle, this joyful scene.

I also thought it was interesting the Star kept coming up for me, and am glad as it signifies hope I also do believe someone who loves me must be sort of tied up or held up right now, because I keep getting that and I also wonder if it's just this or there is a traitor bc it used to be a traitor card indicating someone close isn't loyal but I think it's more of being held up possibly. Don't know.

I'm also thinking, maybe it would be cool to find a few decks, and one in Spanish too, and just keep it simple, with my source being prayer to God first and not getting weird with it, but as a way to strike up conversations or help others think more about situations or derive help or comfort.
*************


I just looked up the cards I drew for Diana. At least, going by the book for Arthur Waite cards, her cards correspond amazingly as an answer to my question.

And I discovered, today, why she said, "I would like to be called the Queen of Hearts."

In both decks I've looked at, I had to find out first how tarot corresponds to normal playing cards and found out that the cups equal the hearts. So I looked at the Queen of Cups and it is of a woman near water, holding the ultimate cup, which corresponds with the heart, and there is a seashell above her, which matches her insignia or whatever of the seashell. I'm sure others figured this out, but I never knew.

Technically, in these tarot suits, the Empress, I think, would be The Formal Queen but she was implying she would like to be this Queen of Hearts, and her symbols all correspond with this too. It is the only card, in both of these decks that I've looked at, that has this seashell.

I will be back in a minute. Have more to say and add. Forgive me as I muddy my feet surrounded by swords of 8, and yet with a slight smile on my face, god only knows why.
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Okay, so the thing with the question about Diana, was mainly how were things right before the accident or which led up to it? or influencing in some way? and I pulled the cards but didn't know what they mean. So then I read in order:
Her Queen of Wands, this photo shows a woman on a throne, facing, pleasantly and holding a sunflower in one hand with a staff in the order. A black cat at her feet. It represents having a power on this throne and fire to represent energy and life and she is very open. Then it goes to 4 of coins, which, in the other deck which I used to ask about what might represent her, is totally different. In the Arthur deck it represents being very guarded. In the other book it's freer, but this was the Arthur deck. So she is more guarded and suspicious (but rightly so) and protecting herself as she can. Then it's 2 wands reversed. upright, it shows a ruler in the castle, with two staffs and protected with the world in his hand, but unhappy and burdened and when it's reversed it represents a leap into the unknown and breaking free into a new adventure. Then it's 10 of swords and very depressing with representation of being pinned down with ones face to the water and setting sun. I think it represented for her, the future of something bad happening, but it doesn't always have to mean this. Then it's the swords of 5, but reversed which indicate defeat but possibly despair following a kind of defeat or that which was to come. Then it's the Queen of Swords with a woman on a throne, as it was in the beginning but this time that woman is not open, facing foward--this time she is facing to the side and has a cord severed from her wrist like she has broken free of bonds and there is a single bird above her head, like the seagull in the famous photo of her sitting on the edge of a boat. She holds a sword upright and is ready to get her life back, and this may have been the position she was in right before. That she went through some changes but came out of it triumphant and yet her foreknowledge of what the future might be made her wiser. I don't know. I am not good at this and I don't know how signs correspond to the cards and moon and stars and everything, but I thought they were interesting cards for my question.

After reading this, I got the idea to look up "hearts" and after seeing this Queen of Swords, wondering what the Queen of Hearts might be if it is in the deck.

Then, I know it sounds weird, but I got the song "Queen of Hearts" and looked for one and got this, by some hip hop group (jason derulo):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnKakW6xC9g

One thing, is that I felt some dread when asking the question. I actually steered away from the actual accident bc just asking about what was leading up felt serious enough.
************
Also, after finding out how the hearts correspond with the cups, I then looked at my questions about what kind of mate I will be and what kind of mother I am. My question about what kind of mother will I be (and am already) is filled with hearts! The question about what kind of mate is filled with clubs. Hahaha. Cummmhere so i kin beatchore ass. Anyway, full of wands, so fire and passion and spiritual but some challenge.

I don't want to interpret for anyone else right now.
**************
I did go ahead and pull cards for the accident, even if I am listening to hip hop and not focusing--I did pray and ask first, but it's random. since it was sort of close with the end of her life, I wanted to see what came up. I asked "What happened with her accident?" and got the following. I decided to draw 7 cards this time, diverging from my usual 6 but one turned out to be an intro card, with the name of the card's author on it so I threw it out and stuck to 6.
I got all of them reversed and I could have uprighted them, but given the nature of the question, I felt it was okay to keep them all reversed.
1. Star
2. Queen of Cups
3. Ace of Swords
4. King of Wands
5. 10 of Cups
6. Queen of Swords

I shuffled very well and cut the deck several times and then pulled from the top. What I got was that all of these things which were and should have been hers, were cut off and negated by the accident. Not negated, because she's still here, but I first wondered about people and felt instead it was representing the reversal of her fortune and favor. It is the first time, out of all my draws, that I ever pulled the Queen of Cups.
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Then I asked "Who was involved?" and unintentionally I got all the cards reversed again, and left them that way. All were reversed except for the High Priestess and I'm not sure what that would mean. I personally really relate to the 6 of swords with the child and mother being driven out, and when this came up first, it made me think I have possibly met, even if briefly, at least one person somehow involved or that someone involved with keeping me and my son down was also involved in Di's accident. It seems all to blame who are reversed or only the one who is upright and not sure how that would work. I got, all reversed except for the High Priestess:
1. 6 of sword
2. knight of wands
3. knight of cups
4. Justice
5. The high priestess (upright)
6. the magician
***************
I might try the other deck and ask the same questions. I am not claiming to be good. i think the first set on Di makes sense but i am clueless about this stuff.
**************
With the scarpini deck...Actually, with the last draw, I had the feeling of MI-5 or some who were supposed to be loyal to her, betraying her and turning her over. I love MI-5, but I think there were a couple of fringe members maybe. i thought of this with the knights. And the Justice card, like Justice was somehow perverted. So it makes me think the one upright card was one not involved. I wasn't sure if I should read that the stand-out was the guilty party or an innocent one and I believe she is an innocent one. Seeing Justice upside down made me feel like if it was, there might be something amiss with the others, who were responsible for her protection, turned renegade and hired others. I also wonder, for some reason, about a past lover. That perhaps one was actually involved with persons who ended up orchestrating this. Or it could be that the reversed cards are shadow figures and one responsible might be a sort of high priestess, male or female, regardless. not sure. I felt a lot better about reading the end of her life than this.

In the scarpini draw, I got the following:
1. Wheel of Fortune
2. Ace of cups
3. Nine of wands
4. Four of swords
5. The Fool
6. Knight of swords

I am clueless but looking I wouldn't know who but would say possibly an older man was knowledgeable about things. A man disguised as a beggar or a wise man, a father figure, or someone from out of country, saw what was in store and wanted to warn Diana but she didn't listen or know what to do. His pleas were either drowned out or he escaped basically, to safety somehow. I have the Ace of Cups inbetween him and a bunch of knaves or a group of men. If the woman in this cup holding the two babies is to represent Di, she was inbtween some who were wise and tried to protect her and a group of lazy people who either went off-duty or were unaware of the plans. Possibly another younger man knew and isolated in some way, prayed for her and was protected himself, from the four of swords card,--he is a religious man attired like Christ inbetween a tent of swords in the wilderness and different religious houses with men of prayer are in the background. Eastern ortho, Russian maybe, Egyptian or muslim, Christian, different people. Either a religious man or someone wrongly imprisoned so he could not warn the right people or was more easily discredited. He is next to The Fool, who here in this deck, has one foot on books, one in the the water and a lion with teeth attached to his thigh. Not seeming wicked but ignorant. On the other side, a determined and fierce Knight of Swords with a skull at the feet of his horse. Triumphant. I don't know except it seems like serious and protective persons were sandwiched inbetween negligent or other groups determined to do something.

Just got, out of the blue, something about "she was one of the biggest defectors..." but not sure who about. I am wondering who was a defector. A woman, but who and why and where from. I also don't know how recent this was and how it relates to Di at all.

Yesterday, after posting what I got from cards, I got, "it's the whole family!" but joking.

tarot and cards are interesting. But I do not trust in it or rely upon it as much as I do prayer and getting straight answers in a psychic manner or through remote viewing or intuiting something. I trust, much, much, more, the other things I get.

I also know, someone worked hard to discredit me to a particular group, with the psychic stuff, because they wanted them to doubt me and then the ability began to resurface again, despite these efforts. I feel that when I had the checkmate with the other woman, that's when God decided to demonstrate I was not a fraud and allow me to prevail, or HIM, to prevail in such a way that i was not simply dismissed. Anything good from me is not from me but from God. I take credit for the bad.

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