Preschool Disruption & My Comments

The preschool work today was great. The kids and I really hit it off. I have a lot to say about that, and the owner said I could blog about basics and she didn't mind. However, it was just one more time of people intentionally trying to screw me over and disrupt a chance for my getting ahead in any way.

I was told by email that they would pay for a TB test and everything and then when I got there it was clear they were just going to turn it over and find an excuse. I had a bad feeling because the women were nice to my face but I saw them exchanging looks with eachother behind my back.

Unfortunately, the kids had a blast with me and kept begging me to stay longer and to come back the next day. They all wanted me to work there.

So the excuse was that oh, no TB test would be done because the state licensing wanted to screen me first. Well, they know very well that the same state that's screwing me and my son over isn't going to approve me.

It doesn't matter that I have no criminal record and that I have extensive experience with kids. They're just not going to do it. Lunch was corndogs, the same thing I got in jail after being falsely accused of a misdemeanor that I wasn't guilty of.

So these women told me I can't go back until I have a background check, even though, to my face, they said everything was great and the kids all know that I was great.

I felt I have more intuitive instincts than most.

One of the little girls there, was accused of being "bossy" when she's just a natural leader and all the kids were having fun with her. Then, I wondered what's going on with the eyes of the kids in town, because I walked in as she was pulling at her eye and complaining to the other teacher that her eye hurt or she had something in her eye. So she was blinking and said it was itching. She described the same thing my son was describing.

The kids were all great. They were all a lot of fun to be with, and came up and I had memorized all their names in an hour. They tickled me and wanted me to give them horsey rides during the free time, and so I did, and it was a big hit. Then they wanted me to read a book. Finally, to rub their backs at nap time.

I had thought I was getting along with everyone but I did wonder at some of the glances which were exchanged, and I just knew something was up. Turns out, I have excellent, excellent, intuition.

It was just a huge excuse. Someone told this group not to let me work there because they don't want anything good working for me which will interfere with this hideous state case brought by Wenatchee people.

I could detail the day, for the benefit of just journaling what is going in the classroom with the kids and how they're doing--they're all adorable and I wouldn't identify any of them.

However, I am really not pleased with the intentional effort at having me apply for work and be excited about it, to have the rug pulled out from under me.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with my work there, which is why they still claim they want me to work there. In my mind at least, this is what they claim, because they know that I know what the truth is, and yet they're trying to put up obstacles intentionally.

It's not even required, in order to be a volunteer. It's just not.

But it is another very good example of corruption and the efforts of some to keep an individual down and a mother and son apart. It's really awful, and it's too bad for the kids there too, because any one of their parents will ask them tonight what they thought of me, and they'll tell their mom and dad the truth. Just like my son does, at each visit with me.

Instead of working with me to move everyone forward, there are some who only want to stir up dissention and keep me and my son apart. It's really sad that anyone would go to these extremes.

No wonder someone told me to check out the private schools. Because they know the state can't get involved, is what I think.

It was the same woman who told me I could work there, that turned around and claimed she had to call the "licensing department" to make sure everything was fine. It had nothing to do with any of this. I have email from her telling me I can start working, for pay, and that they will pay for my TB test. All of a sudden, it's something different and it's only because people decided I shouldn't have any resources at all, or be able to prove myself with other children, because it would most likely be a means for my getting increased visitation with my own son.

One thing this day confirmed to me, was that I am really good with kids. I had forgotten about this. I am good with my son, and I was good as a nanny, but I forgot how genuinely good I am, with children, and how intuitive. I sort of felt like I was better at it than most, because a lot of negative comments made about the kids were judgemental I felt, of the parents and the children themselves and if anything, I think a few providers might not want me there simply because I might be better than they are.

I will detail the day, keeping kids anonymous, as there is something to be said for what they are like and up to and what my insights are.
******************************
The first one to jabber away at me was E. She wanted to know my name and then all the kids asked and I sat down and asked them how old they were and what they're names were. I actually sort of remembered all the names within 6 minutes. They were all pretty open and friendly with a stranger and all were polite.

M. M. came in later and was a little bit quieter but she seemed to be very sweet and inquisitive. She is fairly independent and really watches people. I didn't get to observe her as much because she came in later. She was okay with napping without anything else with her and would move her legs to fall asleep. My guess is that she's slightly more introverted and has very good observational skills. She's obedient and wants to stay at some reserve for a short time, being very careful to take in her surroundings and a new person.

H. was just a little cutie, very softspoken and I guess she has small speech problems but I didn't notice any at all. She felt very comfortable coming up close and would put her hands behind her back, with her tummy out just a little bit, in a "hug me! i'm cute!" way. Very wide-eyed and pretty social and outgoing but with a soft voice and a shy approach.

L. L. seemed a little bit more sad and as if he wanted more attention, but he was also the only boy, so he had a harder time now and then. He is extremely open and malleable and also, I noticed he's very analytical. I don't know if it was a gender difference, or that he's thinking outside of the box, but when I asked all the kids why the little dinosaur in the story was crying, what they thought, they all said, "He misses his mommy" except for L. L. looked carefully at the photo and said, "No, he doesn't have all the pieces to the puzzle, so he's crying." The book actually said it was because he missed his mommy, but I pointed out this was a very interesting and possible observation. I slightly feel his intelligence may be overlooked because he's a minority (hispanic) but I couldn't say for sure. He acts out a little more but may be bored. He's very open to instruction and it just takes the right idea for him--he is made to eat everything on his plate because he wasn't gaining weight for awhile, and he doesn't like this. I mean, maybe, as a latino, he really doesn't care for bisquits with jam. I don't know. But he is made to eat, so in his corner next to me he dwadled and I gave him a little "strategy" and told him it was a strategy. He was all ears. He looked up and I said, "When I was little, I had to eat everything on my plate sometimes, too. Sometimes I would sit there for HOURS and still, I couldn't get up from the table. So, my trick was to just eat it as fast as possible, even if I didn't like it, to get it over with, and then I could play more quickly." L. brightened up, and immediately began eating. He said, "You did that when you were a baby?" and I said, "No, I did it when I was your age and older." So he started to eat, and within 10 minutes it was down, and he was out and playing. It's like no one ever told him this before, but he wanted the "help" and advice on how to "get out of a bad situation" and he did it.

E. E. is a natural leader. I felt she was somewhat picked on by the teacher, for being "bossy" when she really wasn't, she was just naturally coming up with ideas (group hug, ring around the rosy, and other games) and the rest of the kids were happy to follow. Not that she couldn't be bossy sometimes, but I feel, in my short time, she's being held back. I think her spirit and leadership skills could be encouraged more. She is a leader but she's also very sensitive and takes correction to heart and it's easily read in her eyes. She doesn't know what she's doing wrong, because really, she's not doing anything wrong--she's just different. I feel E. might do well skipped ahead a grade and with more support for her leadership skills.

L. L. is very sweet. She's very affectionate and friendly. She is a real feeler and wants to have a good emotional connection with others. She got very upset when the rest of the group was playing ring around the rosy and she needed a hug. She really wanted that "group hug" and I didn't think it was just that she wanted her own way, she wanted the hugs. Because later, she was willing to take instruction on how to choose the next person in the group and she's pretty flexible but when she needs affection and attention, she really craves this. She's considerate of others.

D. D. is just a little doll. Beautiful girl and more introverted. Sort of shy but she's new and when she felt comfortable, she readily opened up and wanted to talk. She's really a watcher too. She is really into the book "The Cat In The Hat" and kept it close and when the cover came off she was worried and showed me and I said it was okay, it could be taped up.
************
These were all the kids that I met. I will write some more detail about what these kids did as a group, and other anecdotes, which I wouldn't do if I were working for this preschool, but I really feel the teachers missed the boat and that I wasn't treated with any kind of respect, to be told I had a job and that they were paying for a TB test and everything, and then they back out at the last minute and make faces behind my back. It may be that some parent didn't want me to be there, but the teachers were in control, and it is, I feel, a true loss. I don't believe you could find anyone who is more gifted with kids, or in the top 10%, in this valley, and it's a travesty that politics prevents me from helping kids and parents acheive their full potential. I also feel there was some mild jealousy with the teachers because the kids responded so well to me. Not all of the teachers were dyspeptic, but the majority perhaps, which is unfortunate. I don't know if maybe religion had anything to do with it. I thought I was past all the religious stuff, but the woman who ran the place and told me I had a job and then reniged, told me she was Catholic and kept telling me over and over that results were in the charge of the Catholic charities in town, and then the teacher for the kids I was with was also Catholic. I don't know that the old hostility against me, from the past, had anything to do with it, it could have just been straight politics, but it definitely was a horrible thing to do to me, I felt. Pretty much, just mean. Then too, one of the teachers there wasn't very friendly and it was Shirley, the first visitation monitor for my son so maybe more than one person didn't ever intend to let me work there.
******************
So anyway, with the kids...Other things that happened, so the parents know, since I won't be working there anyway...
I came in and first looked over the computer program. I became familiarized. I wanted to take some thing home. They gave me something that the teacher for the 4-5 year olds printed out the night before, with E.s name in black bc it was clicked on first, and then B.'s chart out in full. I noticed the main woman's password was 1chris which is odd bc it seems anymore that every other person I meet is named "chris". So all this time they were telling me I'd be working there and it was an introductory. So I went along and then I said I'd stay later to observe the kids because I wanted to spend time with them before I jumped into computer documentation. Unfortunately, I saw the main woman make a face behind my back from the computer screen, to the teacher and there were other looks with others there. It was just obvious, to me, that I was probably going to have a problem.

So I went into the room with the kids and sat down on the stairs with my knees up and arms around and they all came over to me. I let them come to me first, and all were friendly. E. had first spoken up when she heard me asking the teacher if any of the kids were yet reading and she said E. was. So then the kids were all around and E. wanted the group of kids to do a "group hug" and they all did and fell down laughing. This occured after E. and D. were giving eachother big hugs in front of me. Both girls were giggling. They told me to watch and I watched. OH, before this was when I had a little one on one with L. who was having to eat all his food. Then the teacher told me she thought it was the parent's fault for letting him go without food all day and then rewarding him with McDonalds. So she blamed the parents. I thought maybe it was that he just didn't enjoy eating things like crumpets and tea when he was used to homecooked hispanic food or something else. The girls were then hugging in front of me, and L. was lingering, wanting a hug from me now and then. Next, they did the group hugs and all the kids got into it and fell down together, laughing. The teacher said they were too loud. I said maybe to continue but softer and they sort of looked sad but then whispered and then I felt sad for them because they didnt laugh the same. How does one laugh in a whisper?

I would have allowed them to laugh their hearts out if it made them happy. So they continued and did ring-around-the-rosy in whispers and still laughed but not as much. Then they would put one kid in the middle and circle around and first it was M. After M. they tried to decide and E. and L. both wanted me to choose and I was going to say E. bc she asked first, but to be totally fair I said the last person in the circle should decide. So I was trying to allow the kids to figure out how to be fair with one another. But they couldn't decide so I said okay then, maybe turn in a circle and just pick the first person. We all laughed and it didn't work because then kids were leaping forward to be touched first. SO I asked the next child to just decide and make sure everyone had a turn and that was all that mattered. So, they were playing this and L. decided she wanted a group hug instead of ring-around-the-rosy. "Group HUG!" she said, and acted distressed. I was sort of surprised that the teacher allowed this, because I figured, first everyone gets a turn at being in the middle and THEN group hug. The teacher reprimanded E. for being bossy and wanting to control things basically and said L. should get her group hug. So the entire group had to stop and interrupt ring around the rosy for a group hug. WHich, in some ways, if she really needed it, and I think she did, it was considerate of the group to do. On the other hand, I felt it was more bossy to demand a group hug before everyone had a turn in the center, than it was to come up with the center circle idea in the first place. This said, it was an awkward moment when all the kids looked at the teacher like "huh?" but went ahead and they all fell down laughing in a group hug and L. felt better so it was fine. I do think maybe I could have given her a hug and she would have been as happy, she's very sweet and affectionate and just needed a hug I guess.

After ring around the rosy, some of the kids sneaked up behind me on the stairs and would giggle and run off. Then E. came over to me and tried to tickle me. E. definitely took a shine to me, I'd say. I tickled her back and she laughed and wanted me to do it again. Then all the kids did, so I tickled every single one of them, and then, since it was free time, I pretended to come and get them, on all fours. They all took off laughing and hiding and I found each of them and then would tickle them and they'd take off again laughing and hide in a new spot. They loved it. Then as I was on my hands and knees, they decided to jump on my back for a horsey ride. It wasn't good enough for one to be on, so at least 3 would try to jump on and I gave them rides around. They loved it and I said, "What do you think I am? three of you on at one time??? (laughing) what do you think I am? a camel???" and they all giggled. Then it was time to straighten up and quiet down and after several camel rides and dog piles, which they thoroughly enjoyed, they all said they wanted me to stay there, and was I going to work there and said "We LIKE you!" etc. They asked question after question, asking me if I could stay in their group and would I be back the next day.

The teacher was off on the side and I thought she was fine but I didn't know. It seemed the kids preferred me but of course I was new.

There were several times I teared up and didn't let any of the kids see and then just fought it away. It made me sad to know how good I am with children and how I've been wronged and that my son was hurt so terribly. There were other reasons for tears in my eyes, but it all had to do with kids and being happy to be there.

At one point, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, E. was in the kitchen, telling the teacher her eyes hurt. She was telling the main teacher. She kept rubbing her left eye. The teacher looked and wondered if there was a "stye" but there was nothing of the kind. I said, "Does it hurt IN your eye, or on the outside of your eye?" and she said it hurt on the outside and was "itchy" and she said it was both eyes, not just the one she was pulling at. The teacher then told me she'd been complaining about her eyes for the last "two days" but who knows what the truth is. I know it sounded like what my son kept talking about and yet his were really, really, bad. So perhaps it's a sudden surge of "allergies"? Maybe my notice and concern were the reason for the sudden need for "a background check through the state." Hmmm. I had just walked in when this was being brought up. So anyway, at least her parents might like to know, she may have come down with allergies and apparently, sometimes "Claritin" is the "cure". None of the other kids had the same complaint so it's probably not contagious, but I don't know, since something seems to be going around.

After the tickling and rides, I was asked to read a book and read a dinofour book about school. They were all very into the book, and it was really sweet to see this very genuine absorbtion and concern and empathy for the dinosaur who misses his mommy. The expression in their eyes was precious. All looked so sympathetic. The girls at some point, all wanted to show me their boots. E. was excited about her new boots and wanted me to see and then all the girls were showing me their boots and I chose something specific to say that was complementary about all of them.

After the book, they had lunch and wondered why they were given spoons. Actually, it was L. who asked, "Why do we have a SPOON?" The food was grapes, french fries, and corndogs. All finger food. I said, "That's a very good question L!" and she got a little smile on her face after the teacher had answered that they'd thought they were going to have a different fruit for lunch. I told L., "We could try to scoop up a grape in the spoon, but it would be wobbly wouldn't it?" and I was just joking and she got a little smile. Mainly, she smiled that I noticed her perceptiveness, when I said she'd made a good observation.

The kids were talking about whether they liked ketschup or not. E. finished hers with her corndog and asked for more and the teacher said no. I thought this was rude and odd. They barely had a dollop of ketschup and while D. was getting a whole new (second) plate of food, E. was being refused a little extra ketschup. The teacher said "You know the rules" and then told me she used her fingers but I didn't see that at all. She was putting ketschup on her corndog. I don't see the reason in allowing one child a whole new plate of food and refusing a little extra ketschup to the other. How is that fair?

The kids all ate very well, and giggled about various things. When they were told it would be naptime next, E. looked at me and said, "Will you rub my back when I take my nap?" because I guess the teacher rubs their backs to help them fall asleep. So I said I would. E. then showed me her doll and wanted me to rub her back and I told the other kids everyone could have a turn, but then it turned out they all fell asleep first. E. tried to keep her eyes closed but couldn't sleep for awhile. M. slept nearby and I asked if she wanted her back rubbed at the same time and she said no but then the teacher said she liked having her leg rubbed, so I did this. They both fell asleep.

When the kids were putting their mats down, E. came over to me with her mat and laid it down. Then L. came over and the teacher reprimanded E. for putting her mat down and said L. had her permission first. I hadn't heard this and neither had E. so it was sort of unfair to reprimand her as though she should know. So since I had promised E. I would rub her back first, she selected a different spot.

All the kids wanted me to be back the next morning. They all went on and on. I was there from 9 a.m.-1:00 p.m. I spent the first hour on the computer mainly. But in this short time, I bonded with the kids a little bit.

I cannot say how horrible I think it is, to have been misled about getting work and I feel what happened was very disrespectful. I wouldn't write all this online normally if I were working there, but since the parents will never see my notes in the computer, if they are interested, they can see what I observed in the short time I was there.

There were a few derogatory comments about parents from the teacher, but I'll fill this in later.

The good thing, is that I realized I click with kids, not just my son, and that this is still a talent or skill that I have. It was my privilege to spend the short time I had with them.

I was able to get my 11 year old cousin to go from F's to A's within months, by figuring out what the issues were and what his strengths are. I wanted to be able to do this for other kids, but I already know it is pointless to fill out the state "background check". The "state" has basically blocked a very good teacher and caregiver, from helping other kids and I think it's very wrong.

Nonetheless, I had such a great time with the kids and I felt all these kids were adorable and I'm sorry I won't be allowed to go back. I already knew, when she said she wasn't going to pay for the TB test she promised to pay for and backed out of having me in for paid work. I was just being strung along and it was one more attempt to cause me distress and break my heart over having the rug pulled out from under me. I hope those involved are happy and I hope that others, who realize what talents I have that are now being denied their children, are upset.

Some of the things the teacher said which I felt might not be accurate and are indications the kids might be encouraged more:
Some of the kids were quieter, so it would take more time to see how they are doing academically or in other ways, but I felt that in addition to E., with her ability to read already and leading naturally, L., the boy, might also be underestimated. He is also, I believe, not being equipped for his left-handedness and this is being minimized. Probably, I would find, all the kids are underestimated because I have great faith in their abilities.

The teacher said she didn't even go over certain things because at age 4-5 they were "too young to read." Which is untrue and a limitation and she later said E. was already reading, at age 4.

L. was told if he wanted to cut, he could use a different pair of scissors than what he wanted. Which was right, because he was trying to take scissors from another child. However, when he took the other pair, he was saying he couldn't do it and I noticed his hand and said, "Is he left-handed?" and the teacher said yes, and I said, "Then he needs left-handed scissors." L. tried to use the other scissors but it was very hard for him and awkward. I commented on how it would be hard to use them because of the way they're made. Then the teacher said the parents claimed he was left-handed, but she thought they just "wanted him to be" because his father was. I said, "Well, left handedness is actually often inherited, so it's possible he really is left-handed." She said she thought L. just used his left hand bc his parents wanted him to but she felt he wrote better with his right hand. I said, "He could be ambidextrous." I said it's possible his parents influenced his choices, but I didn't think so. I said my son seemed to be very concerned about imitation and doing things "right", sort of a perfectionist, so I thought maybe he used his right hand more because he saw others using this hand, when he actually favors his left hand for other things, but said something about the possiblity of ambidexterity. L. quit cutting after a short time. He tried, but they were hard for him to use and he gave up. The teacher also said she thought his parents told him to disobey her. She said when he was sent to the corner, he would sometimes giggle so she knew his parents must be telling him to disobey her and he thought it was funny. I didn't say anything but really disagreed with this idea. I can remember laughing while getting a spanking, more than once, when I was a kid, and it had to do with something that struck me as funny about it or the comical look on a face or what was said. She also said she thought L., the girl, was a "baby" or regressed to immature and whiney behavior and that E. was "bossy" and she tried to take E. down a notch all the time and I felt it was unfair and that she was being picked on.

In favor of the teacher, she was pretty organized and made a point of spraying down the mats with bleach and being orderly. She also did what she could to put all their work on the walls so they could see it and admire it. She also tried to teach them new things and said it was frustrating because they didn't always want to learn. I think her experience in lesson preparation is her strength. She also rubbed their backs if they asked, at naptime, and would stroke their heads. I think she really cares about kids, but I think it's harder for her to intuit what's really going on in a child's head.

I think too, that sometimes kids are underestimated and they get bored if lessons are too slow, so it might be that if they felt more encouraged and challenged in their own abilities, they would pay better attention to lessons, but I am only wondering about this, because I didn't have the opportunity to sit in on a lesson. In the short time I was there, it was easier for me to see what was going on with the more vocal kids, but the quieter ones usually take more time to figure out, at least for me, and I didn't have that time.

After this day, I started thinking, for the first time, about elementary education or child development again. I was initially going to be an elementary school teacher, out of high school, which is why I was also working as a nanny. I decided against it when I heard teaching is a lot of red tape anymore, but maybe if I could work for a different kind of school that allows for actual teaching. I don't know. I think about it, and maybe that's what I should be going into.

I'm still thinking of nursing because I'd like to care for those I love and others, but maybe I should look at a child education certification as well.