Sleepless In Wenatchee & Notice Of Altered Medical Records

I could hardly sleep all night. I was in a half sleep state, which is supposed to be good for images but I didn't have any. I looked at the clock at 11:00 p.m or so and then around 2:30 and then around 4:00 a.m. and didn't sleep much at all.

There didn't seem to be anything going on that I needed to get up and pray over. I was too tired to get up but I noticed it was a very sleepless night. Nothing on my mind in particular though. I got up thinking about how this man we passed last night looked like Steven Spielberg and about Star Wars and how I had asked a stranger online "Are you a Jedi or an Ewok?"

I am listening to Nancy Griffith's "Love At The Five & Dime" first thing. I wanted to hear something that is light and cheery but doesn't come with memory baggage from the past.

I have discovered many of my medical records have been altered and destroyed or are "missing". The documents which proved my son and I had damage at childbirth, which contradict official reports that our childbirth was "normal and spontaneous"...they all seem to be gone. Including my son's dental record which had diagnosed him with enamel dysplasia. His dental record claims I didn't take him in until right before we left for Canada, which isn't true. My son was cutting teeth at 3-4 months and I took him in pretty early. And he was diagnosed with enamel dysplasia, which I was told is caused by traumatic birth. Any normal, good dentist, can still see this on his teeth now. My lawyer said, "What does it matter?" I told him it mattered because this is my evidence to prove I wasn't "delusional" when I said my son and I were injured in birth and that it could have been prevented. Then, what was even stranger, is that I noticed the name of the dentist is the same last name as one of my public defenders who withdrew claiming "conflict of interest." I knew about one conflict, but didn't realize she might be related to a dentist who had initially so diagnosed my son. Next thing I know, she's denying conflict and I'm turning her into the bar, and then I see my son's dental records by the man with her last name, and they've been altered. I also didn't see my son's lab for his high bilirubin at 3 months of age. I looked and maybe I missed it or it was accidentally missed, but it wasn't in the records when I newly got copies. There is a lab for his birth and levels but not for the 3 month lab. There IS something at 6 weeks but I don't believe that's it because he had a full lab done at 3 months. I would have to go back and confirm on that one. As for my son's dental records, they were definitely altered. I had already discovered, when I was first back from the East Coast, that a record of my pelvis was altered at U of Washington hospital. Someone had changed the radiologist's report which stated I had sclerosis and broken tailbone from childbirth injury, to be ammended to say absolutely nothing about likely cause being from childbirth injury. It had gone from a half page report to a few sentences. Someone told me that perhaps a senior radiologist reviewed it and cleaned it up. If so, it was done months after the report was first made.

(I love these Nanci Griffith songs. Heard Love at the 5 & Dime several times and then Outbound Plane, I Wish It Would Rain, and Robin at Winter-Smith)

Anyway, most of the records which I had cited as being contradictory evidence that we suffered at birth and had trauma, have been changed. The films of course, don't change, but changes have been made, which is obviously disappointing, that anyone would do that. I guess it happens all the time. People go back and cover things up. But it's still very disappointing. Really, lawyers probably deal with this all the time. There is always something about missing records, destruction of evidence or attempts at destruction, and withholding evidence from the opposite party. It's so wrong but I guess it's a fact of life. It's especially disappointing, I think, when it indicates a large number of people are willing to ruin one life or more, in order to preserve their reputations or a little money. The destruction that's been to my son is so great, and yet still, the railroading. I don't understand it. My purpose and priority is just to have my son back. I don't need to get into this all over again. I believe what was done was probably done while I was back East. But my reputation and my son's rights should not be affected by the misconduct of others. That's just how it is. There is no need to trash me. But yeah, weird. If we have to, I told my lawyer, we can call people to the stand but he said he hoped it doesn't go that far, to a termination trial and he hopes that with increased visitation and another psych eval, it will turn around.

(I think my favorite song today is "Love At The Five & Dime". I keep going back to it.)

I looked at some places last night and liked them all but will try to get into something today, or see if the process can be started. I also have a start at a new job, which I wouldn't write about, but it's at a preschool and I hope it works out. It would be nice to see things going in a forward and positive direction.

I told my lawyer I have to get all of the police and FBI records on my name or person in the databases, to see if anything is affecting my housing, employment, or other opportunities. I had someone, a former FBI guy turned lawyer, who was back East, tell me long ago that I needed to see what was in my NCIC record. I have the right to submit corrections or add my own 2 cents, so I will, if needed. These records are actually important to my case now, because I found out Wenatchee CPS and the state and AG have access to the NCIC and all records and if there's something in there that is false, misleading, or incorrect or defamatory, it would affect how I was treated. So, finally, I am working on finding out and clearing this up. It's important to my entire life and reputation and even how other countries treat me, Canada for example, and anywhere else. If there are some still pushing for me to be so mentally ill when I'm not mentally ill in the way that's been claimed, it's important to know who was first trying to put that record or claim out against me. If Canada was informed that I was "paranoid schitzo", and they were, because I saw the records myself, it is essential to know who said this and where it came from. Did it come from comment someone entered into the NCIC? or elsewhere? So, it's relevant to my case now, since this is all focusing on my "mental state" and "risk". It would also show motive as to why, if some group still wants to slam me and even try to force me on medication I don't need in order to get my son back, why. I'm not interested in suing people or proving everyone wrong-- I just want my son back and I want to see good faith efforts at reunification. So far, we've not seen this, so I'm having to go back to get all the information so I am prepared for my defense when it appears the AG and CPS are just trying to get termination, after everything my son and I have been through. I told my lawyer, if it looks like people actually CARE about MY SON and his requests and desire to see his mother more and be with me, then I would back off, but I don't see any evidence of this at all, and he has suffered so much.

I almost have my library card back too. I'm excited about this and spoke with a man who just said I need to show any document that will explain what happened to my car with the books in it, in case they're audited, and he could issue me a card right away. He asked if I could just read at the library and I said no, because I'm writing a book and I have to be able to take things home and not worry they get checked out,and I need to be able to cross-reference.

(listened to "From A Distance", "Roseville Fair" and "Grafton Street". Like Grafton Street a lot.)

My great Aunt sent me an angel apparation from the Vatican today.

Anyway, I still sometimes wonder if we're related to Edward Howard, CIA man. I don't know. I also wonder if the Howard-Garretts are somehow connected to a lineage that is the cause of their killings. Sounds sort of crazy, but how do we know? I mean, some people know a lot more about history than current families.

My great Aunt is going to send over some family history when she has a chance and she told me to talk to my grandma Dolores, who is a Davis, to get more on the Davis family and the Garrett's, because she researched all the way back to England. I think she and her sister did it.

It doesn't really matter, but when there are so many mysteries in the family, and untimely or suspicious deaths, one wonders what in the world is really going on! Right?

I just met this man who was fun to talk to, who recommended The Humane Society as a place where people are interested in animals and socializing. I might look into it but I have to figure out how many things I'm getting involved in and don't want to overextend. I do love animals and have taken many strays in (or found homes for them), and tried to nurse injured birds (at least four) but I have to be careful about how many things I'm getting involved with.

Since I'm not working yet, I don't want to take on too many things and then have to quit so I'm being careful to select things I can do in the area which allow flexibility, where I can make a committment for some time and not drop out.
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Sometimes I wonder if there is nothing really, in the NCIC. Maybe it's not that at all. I know an uncle said something to someone at one time, and it could be that this then went to an officer and an "unofficial" comment was made.

So as far as I know, it may have absolutely nothing to do with the FBI or some database as much as an individual or two just being repeated.
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Today was incredibly disappointing in one regard. I sometimes don't know anymore. One thing I do know, is that I my faith is in God. My whole being and my faith, which is very real, is in God. My life and my son's life, and this case, I believe, are in good hands. Even if I may be very alone, I still have faith that all things are possible. If anyone had any idea how difficult things have been made for me, it would be impossible to believe, but I do believe and I believe in miracles. I believe I am here for a reason, and that my son was born to me for a reason, and that all things which have happened to me, have happened for a reason and that God can turn the most impossible situations around for good. I have one side to be on, and none other, and that is in the side of my Savior. And for the good and the protection that has come from the Holy Spirit, moving in the consciences or hearts of a few, I am thankful and I continue, more than ever, to depend upon.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

In all things I will give thanks, in every situation and in all circumstances. I don't know, anymore, who the true believers are, in liberty and justice and in being a good person who is willing to accept responsibility for mistakes and allow others to live in peace and goodwill.

Anyway, chin up and moving forward with what I have to do today. There's nothing I can do about the choices of others and it's not my business to be worried about it.

I still know that in the middle of all this, something good is happening behind the scenes. I don't know what it is but I'm happy about it. I prayed, the other day, for blessings for those who help keep my son safe and who are helping me as well, and for financial prosperity for these people. I hope it happens, and I pray it does. I'm not God, or a bank, I know, but I still hope God will hear my prayer.

I still maintain, there has been a very strong and good energy that has transcended reason for me. Sometimes, I feel a little down, or I know there is something going on that's not good, but I still sense something positive, in spite of everything. And thank you so much to a few who have been trying to make some things happen for me. I really appreciate it.

I like this version of "Love At The Five and Dime" by Griffith: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwevqcForgM
I can't believe how much she conveys with just her voice and guitar...her interpretation is beautiful. I like how she says "darn good dancer" I sort of want to sing along, taking a higher part in harmony. makes me want to sing. this clip puts a warmth in my heart--i love it.

It looks like yes, everything is going to go through with the preschool work! I'm so excited about this! I won't write about it when I'm there except to probably say how much I enjoy the work, but I am really looking forward to this. I will get to do some observational work and writing as well as teaching! It's a huge, bright spot on the horizon.

I may be getting into housing very soon as well!

Note to man I noticed in corner whose eyes I felt...and then ran into around the corner, you should have come over to say hello! you're a new believer in my psychic skill, eh? (just kidding) No, it doesn't always happen. I'm sure people stare at my back all the time and I never notice or turn.