Depressing Meeting With Librarians

I went to the library with a note from my lawyer, which was okay but he said he could not confirm the books were actually in my car when I lost my car. True, but this gave someone room to point this out.

I had to fight tooth and nail for a library card. I went in, very polite and warm but soon felt discouraged. The second guy I talked to (won't name either of them) said, "The devil's in the details". Yeah, the devil wants to push me over the edge with the buereacratic details. I know that, so I haven't been losing my cool.

It was depressing because both of them were reading books about death. It was also so depressing because I tried so hard to be polite and gregarious, but it was one criticism after the other, and a lot of illogic. It was pretty clear that some do not want me to have a library card. Which is ridiculous, but true.

The first guy found something wrong with every single explanation I made. And it just felt discriminating. I mean, I came with a letter from my lawyer, and that wasn't good enough. He had a book about Achille dying and brought up how a 10 year war was waged over Helen of Troy and people just ended up dying. So I looked at the book and felt depressed. Then, he said my lawyer couldn't confirm books were in my car, so I couldn't have a library card.

I reminded him that he had told me if there was a house fire, they forgave library debt. He said yes, and I asked how they had been able to confirm, in the past, that books were in the house and not the car, or another residence, if everything was burned up. I said it was the same thing. No one could confirm books were in my car, so he'd have to take my word for it, just as he would take someone else's word for the fact books were in their burned down house.

So then it was another argument. At the end I told him what it seemed like he really wanted was a polygraph.

The next argument was that they had proof from firemen that a house really burned down. I told him I tried to get proof my car was towed and disposed of or bought, but that was hammered too. I explained that the RCMP could confirm I was made to leave my car at the Wal-Mart parking lot, and then I'd called and Wal-Mart confirmed alongside, which tow company was used by them, and then I called the towing company and the towing company told me the place had changed hands and all the records were wiped out with a new computer system. So there is no record of who bought my car at auction, which is what I was told would happen if I couldn't collect my car, and yet the tow place said the cars were just smashed.

Just on and on, one argument after the other. Finally, a new paper against me after I explained I did have some form of evidence. He said someone had newly checked out books in my name and then returned them, in June. He pointed out the date: 6/3/2008. I said I had not been able to do anything with books since I came back from Canada bc I was blocked, so I didn't know where that came from. He said maybe I could check out one book at a time. One. I said that wasn't enough because I couldn't cross-reference that way. So he asked me what did I mean by cross-referencing. I said, "You don't know what cross-referencing means?" He said yes he did know, and after I had said I was shocked I was having such a difficult time with a librarian, he said he was sorry but that was it. That's after I asked who oversees the library and if it's the Board of Directors, what was the over-arching group they belonged to which was larger and nationwide. I said, "Is this a public or private library?" It was just very difficult.

So I left, feeling downhearted that this was such a big deal. I decided to check with the other guy first, before going to anyone else about it, and HE was reading a book from the perspective of a golden labrador that dies. A dog that races in the rain and then dies in the end.

Real cheery. Helen of Troy and dying Achilles and then the dying golden labrador. Put me in the mood for the holidays!

So he was witty and I laughed and he was a little more accomodating, and asked what I was writing a book about. I said "Princess Diana". He said, "Oh? You have a new angle?" and I said, "No, there's nothing new under the sun, as you know." He said, "So are you going to channel Diana?" and laughed and I said no and then he sort of apologized for laughing, and said he guessed it had already been done anyway. He asked if I had a publisher and I said that was confidential. I was explaining I cannot check out just a couple books at a time, or read while at the library even though he offered to put them behind the counter. I said, "How would that be fair to the public if I have all the books on Diana?"

So he said he'd try to work something out. I said I needed to be able to check out at least 5 or so at a time. He seemed surprised. I think he thought, when I said I'm used to checking out "armloads at a time" that I meant maybe 4-6 books. I told him, I averaged about 15 at a time.

So he wanted to establish I was not a "risk". I told him I am not a "risk" (to books anymore than I am to my son) and that I've been checking out large armloads of books since I was 8, at least. I have had tons of library cards and checked books out from many libraries, and in excess, and always returned them. I told him I had a very long history and that if he wanted to, he could check out my past library history as to how many books I'd borrowed. He said he was aware I had a "history" with the library. So he said they sometimes purge all records. I asked how often, how far back? I said if he checked the last five years, it would show I checked out tons of books and returned them and that this loss of books in Canada was an exception. So I tried to explain I was not a risk and that this last thing was extenuating circumstances.

He asked for my name and contact information and said he'd get back to me. Said not to go to Canada again and that there were good people here. I said I also agreed there are good people here and I believe this.

I left and it was fine, but I felt this whole thing was depressing. I clicked with the second guy, but, that I had to argue about my integrity and the documentation available to me and then the books on death...

I felt a good energy all day, pretty much, except for when I had to leave this library branch. Then it wasn't so good and partly it was just my own mood.

I was told I would have a library card again if I could prove what happened to my car. So I got the evidence that I was able to get and told them they could check with numbers of people I contacted in Canada. The other guy said he didn't need evidence of what happened to my car but would get back to me about how to loan to me again.

I am certaintly not a "risk" if I've checked out the number of books I've checked out over 30 years, and only had one extenuating circumstance and a couple of damaged books which I'd no responsibility over when they were out of my control or care.

So I'm waiting.

I then sent thank you notes and was enthusiastic about an idea one of them had, of putting in an espresso bar into the public library. So I said I thought this was a good idea and expressed my support.