Good Vibe

I guess it's about 3:30 PM or so and it just seems like there is such a general good and strong energy right now. For a little while in fact. Not bad, today.

Maybe people are getting out of their slumps or something, I don't know.

I'm also getting a few things done, even if I start feeling anxious about it and procrastinate a little bit. I got some declarations out there to my lawyer and I'm working on a few other things too. Applied for another job as well.

Had to treat a migraine yesterday and that ergotamine works! I never have a rebound with it. Alone it doesn't work, but 2 vicodin and a shot of ergotamine is a full cure. I asked if there are shots one can give themself but no. It's too old of a class of drug I guess.

I made two declarations and have a few more to make, to be filed in the court. One for increased visitation, one for expedition of the "head exam" which hasn't even been ordered or scheduled yet, and I'm told there is no one who can do it until past next hearing. So they just planned to string my son along for another month with no change or increase in visits, when he is constantly asking for this, and then claim I'm not going through their hoops (when they see to it I can't go through on time even if I try).
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I have some good things happening and some bad escalating too. It's not that nothing bad happened today.

I also had a little bit of insight into a rich group of 20somthings or maybe in their 30s, with dark hair predominantly. Not ethnic. Pretty much not on my side, to say the least. Noticed them tonight and on a couple of other occasions but some are from out of state. A few Italian perhaps? Or just dark haired...Maybe some from Canada. I don't know what the deal is--there are some very strong and good Canadians and then I had a few issues with a couple. I think a small group resents me for maybe not going along. I have always thought, too, that Diana is appreciated and loved by Canadians, in general, but I don't think that's always the case. A lot of Canadians want to abolish the whole thing and do it on their own. I sort of feel sorry for, sometimes, the English royalty or aristocracy. Other times, I am not sympathetic in the least, but there is nothing like jealousy or people wanting to put you down, just to spite. What I'm learning is that nothing is always what it seems.

There are people who are "in it" for themselves, so much of the time, no matter what "it" is. People really do "use" other people, as pawns, as a way to get ahead if screwing someone over makes a powerful group happy...It is a kind of reward thing.

I was actually reading a book about the "royals" from another sort of perspective, and for the first time, I was both disgusted and indignant, and then very empathic and felt sorry for them as a lot. The woman writing was named "Kitty". What was horrible, was some of the arrogance, but then too, so much of the family "dirt" was purposefully brought out and made to look as bad as possible. Then, what got to me the most was one part which helped me to see Di as human and a little bit manipulative, and then other parts which were just horrendous, which showed what the women--Fergie and Di, actually went through. Not very many people really know.

I and my son have truly had our share of problems and harm, however, while I know the harm was different, it is incredible to really stand back objectively and witness human nature at its very worst.

The mob mentality of ganging up on someone, to make fun of them or harass them because deep down, they're actually just jealous or hateful for whatever reason. And, Fergie and Di were not safe. They even had money and some position, but they were huge targets of derision. What was most astounding, is how fast they were "dropped". Which really showed how many were actually "friends" to begin with.

I know, I know,...they were public figures and they get some press harassment. But no, one does not really know what that means until you start reading the facts and details. It was not just people getting too close and yelling. It was, that these women constantly had people attempting to publicly humiliate them, and usually, it was done the worst after they lost their "titles" or their "men". Even Camilla. Camilla was pelted with buns from a bakery. I mean, imagine. You're just trying to buy a frickin' loaf of bread and some milk and a huge group of people start cursing at you and throwing buns. Then, people felt free on another occasion, to actually throw EGGS at the Queen's car as they were driving past, in full daylight and without any shame. Then, all that "bad press" that came about with Di and Fergie? It didn't just come out of nowhere. It came only after some people felt secure enough that these women had lost some measure of protection, by going single. Then, the women were hunted and harassed like animals. Yeah, I think to myself, well, at least they were able to have a nice family or drink by the fireside and had money to get away. But did they ever really get away? Di can't walk through the airport without covering her face with a tennis racket and all of the unflattering things about Fergie happened after she was going on the outs with her man. Suddenly, with the idea there wasn't protection, these women were being SET UP left and right.

It was like, "You don't do something for US, or for your men, we're going to have at you." All this pent-up jealousy or rage or? desire to get back or just be mean and mock for fun (?!) came out full force. Like these women did something to everyone personally. The press just attacked them. There were people outside of the press too, just filling in, to abuse and insult them. Walking alongside the women, saying rude things. In Di's case, when she had her title, people had manners. They didn't dare, I guess, take photos without asking permission. Then, the minute that was gone, she was totally hunted. They didn't ask for permission anymore. I was reading descriptions and it was brutal. Not only that, Fergie lost just about everything. She went from being The Perky Princess to The Piggie Princess and that's how mean too. Suddenly, she has a huge outstanding debt in the millions for the first time and for the first time she's having to think of some way to get out from under it. I couldn't believe it when she did Weight Watchers, which I thought was humiliating for her, but she did it, and she paid everyone back and did what she could for her kids. And she did it on her own too.

I don't know. I was reading just a very short section and it made me think, not about our differences, but at how common this is. This cycle of human behavior. Groups relishing the misfortune of others, and I don't understand it. I feel I don't even know enough yet. It happens, but I wonder at the root of it. Is it sadism stemming from deep rooted jealousy or insecurity? is it that some people really end up hating others that much and that rumors and negative talk just feeds the fire until people are either loving or hating someone they don't even know?

Is it that women lose their "men"? or their "power"? and when are the two somehow the same thing?

I feel like I have a LOT to learn. I feel sorry for myself, and I have good cause to, and to be confused, but then I read some of these other things, and it shocks me. In a way, I can see it in living color, and even fill out the detail even MORE, but in other ways, I am still surprised.

I guess it's social psychology that I'm a little bit interested in. What gets an entire group running in the same direction. I'd like to know what it is that makes people tick more, and what it is that gives others the idea that it's fun to abuse someone.

I don't like the rich taking advantage of the poor, and I also don't like the poorer mobbing and abusing the rich just for spite or out of jealousy. Sometimes, it's just different groups of the same class.