Hello. Update. Oh, and before I get, I have to remind myself to talk about Oliver's fascination with the apple today and cutting it up. What a mess! and his juice...
However, I have some good news and bad news. I checked on my unemployment and it's still severely delayed, and information was missing from the system too. I have called in with my claims and the phone system said it was accepted and I found out yesterday it didn't go through, or was removed. Also, it's taking way too long to get wages from D.C. I talked to a woman today who got laid off and she filed for unemployment and they cut her the first check within one week. ONE WEEK.
I filed my claim in AUGUST.
So that, along with delays on my "head exam" are not good. CPS hasn't scheduled anything, and when I told my lawyer yesterday that someone else said they could get me in sooner, all of a sudden I was told today that there may have been a "misunderstanding" so I have to find out if someone is backing out on what they told me or not.
It's also not good that my son isn't getting increased visits, and it's not in his best interests.
I have asked my aunt and uncle to write a statement in support of me, since they claim they want my son to be with me, and they claim they want him to have visitation with me. So, I'm asking to see that claim in writing. It's been really nice that my aunt is keeping me more up-to-date on some things that are going on.
As for the GOOD news, there are some things to report. Aside from getting screwed out of housing and work, which may turn around, I HAVE been able to make some progress with calls to get some information coming in which will be helpful to my case, and I also made progress in the volunteer things I'm trying to do.
1. I got my application in for one organization, and have to submit a cover letter,
2. I contacted the music conservatory about helping out there again and I'll send out an email. If it doesn't go anywhere, I've talked to someone else who is on the board of a good music conservatory elsewhere and I may see if I could help there,
3. I called about volunteer work at some preschools and got several thumbs up! I am really excited about this because it would allow locals in preschools to see how I am with children, and I've always been highly recommended and my neighbors know this too. However, to show others what I'm like with children, in this area, it will be good to work at a preschool and I might even possibly be interested in doing some work for more than one, maybe. One I really like because of a research-observational aspect that I think I'd be really good at, and another I like because, well, there are others where the women seem like good people who would work with me. My goal is to do a little work for free, and possibly, be able to get a waiver for my son to be able to attend. He is in daycare, but needs more structure and challenge. I would probably transition him very gradually, if it's up to me, and it should be up to me, and it looks like I will be welcome so I'm very thankful for this. Also, a couple of people are interested in this possibly turning into a paid employment position. I would love to be paid for preschool education or anything to do with a child development/psychological observation thing. I was planning on opening up my own center and was looking into licensing myself before what happened with my son, which has been very unfortunate. However, my love of children and my knack with reading them hasn't left me. I mainly stopped being a nanny because I couldn't take the separation anymore--I got too bonded to the kids and it broke my heart when I had to move on. It was always in the best interests of the child, because in most cases the parent decided to stay home, but after a few times of this, I just said, "No more until I have my own children" because I then believed I would be the one to see them through all the way.
4. I put in time for the peace organization in town tonight. I stood out in the freezing...FREEZING! cold to protest for peace. The only thing is, is that I'm sort of confused about how this "looks" because I am not sure what kind of statement I'm making. I know, in my heart, what I'm trying to say--that I'm in favor of peace processes, but the others are very anti-war in afghanistan and while I'm not for war, I don't know about immediate withdrawal if people will be obliterated and I just haven't studied it and I'm not informed enough. So that's where I want to be less political, because I'm not qualified to have a very good opinion on it, and yet I am very interested in peace processes, even if I fail at this in my own life, I feel, so much.
The other thing I worried about tonight, is if it was not bipartisan. I don't know if I'm only standing for one side, or for the rights of all, because my intention is to support troops, and all lives, and peace in general, but support all. I have rifts with people but I don't mean to target or select whole groups. Sometimes one takes a stand or a side, but I feel more humanitarian than political. I have ideas for this country, but really, when it comes to a lot of things, I feel mostly that I want to do things which help people across a broad spectrum, or which are specific but still inclusive of people from all backgrounds.
So I didn't absolutely know what to do, but I picked out a sign that was the most neutral and just said "peace" in 4 different languages. There were some that were pretty radical or very specific or just sort of extreme and dramatic and the one that I felt fit me best, was the one that said peace in different languages. "Peace", "Salam", "Shalom", and "Paz".
This one guy said to jump up and down to keep warm and I said, no, I don't think so or I'll get locked up as a nut. I didn't wave the sign either. I just supported it with my hands from the bottom and then stood around and chatted with people.
5. There are also these philosophical meetings sort of connected to the peace organization but separate where they discuss the environment and sustainable living and other things and I am going to this again as well, even if I'm more of a moderate or even conservative. I enjoy the concept of people getting together to discuss such things though and staying up on reading and the group had a good sense of humor and was educated. So I appreciated this. I went to the first one about 2-3 weeks ago but I hadn't realized what it would be about. I knew it had something to do with peace processes but they cover everything, and it's interesting. They said they hoped I didn't mind being with the "old folks" and I was the youngest there, but it didn't matter in the least--I enjoyed myself and was sort of surprised more people my age were not involved. One woman talked about inviting some high schoolers which I thought was a good idea. She has a really cool thing with helping students apply for scholarships and fill out their financial aid forms for college. She does this for kids whose families don't have a lot of experience in it, or are poor, but whose children are getting excellent grades or are simply prepared for college.
Finally, I got some encouragement from my law offices today. So, this was welcome. I used the office and who knows, they may increase my time allowance if I make good with what I've got already, and I was encouraged about being an "outsider" and she said she was too, when she first came here and it was hard to get work because no one would hire her. She agreed, no one would be checking my references if they weren't local. So, she said, it was a good idea to do the volunteer stuff to allow people here to see what I'm capable of. She thought the preschool work was a great idea. I could also use some paid employment--that would be nice, but in the meantime, I've decided to move forward and do what I can do within the limitations.
Oh, and, I filled out my college application for financial aid so I got this underway. I can't apply to the nursing program here because I would have to first take classes to make up for pre-reqs, so I can do that later if necessary. I don't like any of the online college. I want my degree to come from a traditional college or at least an experimental highly rated kind of college. I have a couple more thing to do regarding college, but I will be back in school and the financial aid will help greatly.
Really, the advice about the horse with blinders worked well. It's one thing to think "focus" but it's another thing to think about what this means in practical terms and then have a mental image to resort to. I am much less distracted, and I feel more focused and in control.
I also am not angry with the state workers. I think it's misfortunate, some of their choices, and I hope they'll come around.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzkxCWFPh7U&NR=1
9:25 p.m. PST. Very strong vibe. Very positive. For the last hour, I was sort of feeling a little bit down. But it just, who KNOWS. Hmmm, but problems with the computer. Not so great afterall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2nRYykk6aY Where'd All The Good People Go? Jack Johnson. I don't know about all these clips, but I like the song.
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