I would have slept through the night if my housemate hadn't got up. Just as I finally sleep on my own he's getting up in the middle of the night to bang around the kitchen. Sigh.
I didn't have any dreams that I remember but I woke around 5 a.m. and was worried. A heavy energy.
I have people trying to make me think Will Wagler and Chris are one and the same when they're not, and harassing me if I go into a chat. I can't go into a chat for more than 15 minutes without someone from Oregon or Washington state bringing up my son by name, some personal information about my life, and such. And then I look these people up and they're usually from Oregon or Washington state and I have no idea who they are. It's not like this when I am talking to people from out of the area and I think, "Boy, for being so mentally ill, there is certaintly a lot of interest in me!"
I think it's an attempt to almost drive me nuts, but it doesn't bother me except in that I wonder why in the world anyone is spending all this time and effort to find m and then harass or try to intimidate me. I feel that purposefully going to a room, to let me know they know I'm there, and then bring up my or my son's personal information, is a form of harassment and intimidation.
It's a way of letting me know there are people basically stalking me.
I have had people sharing information about what I say over the telephone, or it's getting out other ways, because I will be talking to my uncle one minute and the next minute, I'm in a chat and someone is repeating the exact things we were talking about.
I think my dream about someone putting two scarab insects on a bureau of some sort, are symbolic for "bugs". I've had this kind of dream before, and it's always been connected to my later finding out there are leaks of information that are getting out to everyone.
It's one thing to have information repeated which I've already shared on my blog. But I keep a lot of other things private, and my phone conversations should be private, as should most of my interactions with people in general. But no matter what it is I say, it is being repeated back to me, deliberately, and I think people want me to know so I am freaked out.
What I know, is that all the information from my visits with my son was being shared with everyone in the town and probably disseminated and looked up by people within the state as well. Everyone knew something about the visits and then I would have people trying to do symbolic things to let me know they knew. If my son talked about bees all visit, some police officer is approaching me with a magazine on bees, specifically. If we talked about bears, it's all about bears. Then, I was being treated like I thought I was the reincarnation of Princess Diana or something. Every single thing said to me or offered to me, was said while letting me know this was something Di liked or did.
Then, I talk about Charles, Prince Charles, and suddenly there are trucks going by with "Charlie's Produce" and "Organics", and no I'm not nuts. There is usually enough time to allow for someone to plan to drive by at a time I would notice. Right after I mentioned Keebler elves, it was Keebler elf buses and trucks. I am not kidding. It's like the entire fleet of Keebler trucks came into town. Then, if I'm writing a lot about the royal family, a lot of semis with the "England" symbol drive by, and garbabge trucks now, ever since I wrote about my dream where I asked the royal family what they do with their waste. If I'm emailing my ex, whom I called Exxon, it's gasoline tanks everywhere and Fed-Ex workers are parking next to me at every block. And no, this is not paranoid schitzophrenia, this is happening and everyone knows it. WHY anyone would do all these things because of what I say I have no idea. Sometimes it's funny, other times it's shocking and I don't know what it's about.
I have talked to a lot of people recently too and they all say, "Yeah, you sound really schitzo" in a dry voice because they know I'm not.
If it were just an isolated incident, it wouldn't be a big deal, and I refrained from writing about it for a long time because I thought it would make me sound crazy maybe, but I think it's fine. I don't care what trucks are on the road, it's interesting and it doesn't matter at all.
What I care about, is the invasion of my privacy. What I care about is not that people use information I've already shared with others, but that information that should be private, is getting out to everyone. It's illegal, unethical, and if I'm so nuts, why am I worth your time?
I can't tell if this is supposed to be a compliment or a way of harassing me, but sometimes I think it's both. It's a compliment by some, and then for others, it's just a way of demonstrating that some group has a lot of control and power, and than what I don't like, personally, is how some are purposefully seeking me out to bring up my private personal information. And usually, there are not very nice, and if they are nice, they're pretending they're nice while sharing details about my life with ME to let me know THEY know, when they know I know they shouldn't know.
Then, I know I'm not technically a "public person" but I look at photos of Prince Harry and William. I've noticed it with William especially. Like, he just so happens to be sitting in front of a big building sign that says "KING" and I wonder if others go through what I'm going through too. I can't imagine William purposefully positioned himself to be standing in front of that sign. So did someone tell him "Hey, we need your help over here?" and then snap away? How often does this happen to him? It's like some people want to make signs out of signs, or more out of things. Like, choreograph life for others.
With Diana, how did this photo of Charles and Camilla become public? I mean, who took the photo of them next to the tree with the initials in the heart? That seems innocent enough, but then the one where Camilla and Di are at the horse races and Di is standing right next to a sign that says "Number 2". The implication is clear--Di is "number 2" or "second" to Camilla. The photo was taken during Di's engagement.
Did Di ever see this before getting married and wonder? or did it ome out later and she was just pissed?
Or what? Everyone throws their hands up in the air and says "whatever" or do some people actually enjoy this? It seems like it happens anywhere or everywhere. I mean, it's not just the U.S. Apparently, it happens in England too.
Since I've been doing a little research on the royal family, I have seen this all over. Not only this, it may sound strange, but there's this clip where William is walking along with a binder and then he looks to the right and there is a car following him, but on the other side of the road or something. He can't go anywhere without cars following at a distance or up close. Someone is always around. Always.
I wonder how much information about them gets leaked. The Squidgygate and Camillagate tapes came out and how? It was illegal to tap those lines, so who did it? What's obvious is that those were just specially selected portions of conversations meant to serve a purpose for some group. No one dared make it clear that probably every single conversation they've ever made has been recorded.
And that was the 80s and 90s. Technology has improved since then. Why do the reporters care that Charles and his sons made insults "within range" of mics? What's the difference? They probably already know it doesn't matter what they do, if someone wants to listen in, they will.
I would be every single sexual tryst even, of these families, has been recorded somewhere or listened in on. It's just that people don't DARE to publish it, because they are afraid of it tracing back to them.
I guess they probably have to crank the music up on high or turn on all the water int the house or try to enjoy themselves on mute.
I have absolutely no idea why this is happening with ME because I'm not a famous person or a Princess at all. At least, as far as I know! (I'll let you in on the big secret after I get more details on my family history). But it's very strange, because I am in a position to feel very sympathic for the royal family and some celebrities and others, and why I'm sharing in some of the same thing, I don't know. For ME to be able to say "I can relate" is very odd, but I can relate. In a way, I guess I'm not the only one, so for that I can give thanks.
It would certaintly be nice to have more money to go along with whatever interest I draw. I must be the poorest person anyone ever took interest in. Not that it matters--ones wealth...but it's not very often this attention is made over, how I view myself, is "a regular person". I guess I'm not considered "normal" by some but others might think I'm a step ahead of understanding all the dimensions of "normal".
I'm sure it happens with all of them, but I haven't seen all the photos. I'm sure it happens all the time and yet not every moment can be captured.
I guess you just deal with it. Like it's a compliment and an annoyance at the same time.
Now, there goes an "organic valley" truck. Good morning Charles. How are you today Sir? lol. Harry's copy, the man with the scottish cap, is taking off now. One day, every other guy was wearing some scottish cap and it was right after I wrote about Harry so I could only guess it had something to do with him or...scottish men? Gordon Brown? lol
No, I'm not reading into things. If one or two trucks go by, no big deal. But I will tell you one thing, it was quite the day when all the Keebler trucks came to town, along with "Charlies Produce".
Also, this is very weird, but on the night I was looking up Prince Williams facebook profile (tried to find Harry's too but one wasn't there) there was an ad at the bottom for The Salvation Army and I said to my housemate, "Hey! that's the homeless shelter I worked at in Oregon! I just remembered! I couldn't remember the name of the one I actually worked at but that was it!" So I say this to my housemte, and the next day, what do you know? The Salvation Army bus passes by all day. Yeah. No, not just once. All frickin' day. I didn't even know there WAS a Salvation Army bus until that day.
If I talk about Di, every car in town with red and white starts driving by within 30 minutes. It will just be all red and white, all day.
If I mention Will Wagler, every single frickin' VW bug comes out like an army. Especially yellow ones, because at some point I told someone about how he had a yellow bug.
I mentioned the song "I Dreamed A Dream" and how the "tigers come out at night" and every frickin' tiger blanket in town was suddenly appearing across the vans in the parking lots where I was coming out of. Then, that will be the day the Tiger and tigger hats and shirts come out.
I even have state people, at the offices where I visit my son, CHANGE their shirt in the middle of their time with me.
I'm getting an idea that I might not be the only one this happens too, because I see evidence of the same thing in clips or photos of royalty now, but what this is about I have no idea. THIS is why I seriously thought, though, that someone was interested in me, possibly, from the royal family, because on the East Coast it was even more, but I didn't really process or notice it as much. I noticed music everywhre though. It's been here sometimes too, but over there there was always music...like, my favorite songs or bands.
If this was accompanied with work and housing, I would think it might be a compliment, but all this time and energy goes into THIS and yet I'm blocked out of the town. So it's odd. That's why I just picked up volunteer work.
I think there's a love-hate thing going on.
I have to go to my visit with my son, and then I'll be back to detail that visit.
Well, my heart goes out to all. I think if it was meant to be a compliment, things would be going better for me. It's probably just to freak me out so I write about this, but I could take a video camera out and record all of this.
If this town is all about "the big 3" and people are always pressuring me, it could just be some evidence of mob activity.
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