Music & Today's Agenda

What a great morning, this morning. I got to sleep in a little and got up at 8 a.m. I woke very early though, around 3 or 3:30 a.m. and didn't fall back asleep but rested. This happened not yesterday but I think the night before as well. I woke up, like my name being called, and couldn't fall asleep again. This morning when I woke, it was a sad energy or something a little heavy hearted, but now, everything is fine.

It looks like a beautiful day too, the sun is shining.

It's morning but the first song I played and am listening to is "All Through The Night" by Cyndi Lauper. This is another song to dance to.

I have so many problems and still, something seems right. I don't know why. Someone asked if I was feeling down about not seeing my son at Christmas. No. My own strength has surprised me and while I could be depressed, I choose not to be because I know God sees all and I have not lost hope. The fact that I'm not wallowing doesn't mean I will ever give up on my and my son's right to be together so if anyone thinks I will take this or just give up eventually, that's not going to happen. I have heard what my son wants and I know what's being attempted and I am fighting for and advocating for him. My destiny was to be a mother and to be his mother. This is my God given calling and I am giving that up, not for anything. There is nothing which could even tempt me away from him or to relinquish my right and his right. I am more than a little concerned about attempts to keep him from having increased visitation. So I have asked for the claims of my aunt and uncle to be put in writing. I am tired of hearing one thing and seeing another thing. So if support for our rights is what is there, they will be more than happy, if they are being honest, to put it in writing.

But I am starting out my mornings, with prayer. I prayed for only 2 minutes before writing, but I'm trying to pray to have my focus and priorities and also, in knowing how to deal with people today.

Oh darn. I was going to download this cover of All Through The Night by girlyman and I don't know how to download MP3s. Embarrassing but true I guess. I wanted to listen.

I found a player on Yahoo music and couldn't select just that one tune so I started from the top of the playlist. "Right Here" is first. This is a good band. I don't know why I've never heard of them before. They remind me of Indigo Girls and I love them. Oh, I can't get to it. Only certain songs can be played here. Will have to look again. I tried lastfm but still can't get to it. Oh well. I like Cyndi well enough.

I need to get a notebook. And a larger planner. I am totally disorganized and feel the power to get it together again. I need some basics though. I used to have a planner always, where I could map out month to month. I think I just need to draw up my own calender the way I want again. I have a little pocket one but I never use them bc I have only see day to day. It's easier for me to see at least week to week or a month at a time. I think this is something I'll do today.

I guess I have nothing to say, so I've no idea why I made a post! lol. Oh, reminder to me to fill in my visit with Oliver better.
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I am so thrilled! I have some interviews for preschool work and one in particular sounds great to me. I'm so excited!

Hopefully today will be a good day.
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2:05 p.m. PST. Energy is just up and down today. I don't know what's going on. There is a lot of negative and yet some positive action. Serious conflicts of emotion. There are some who are bending over backwards to work against me and a few who are trying to help get support for me. There's a lot of movement. Felt a sadness beginning around 1:00 p.m. or so, maybe a little later. Then a shift. Not with me either, or my moods, because they've been constant and I've been around others all day so I've not changed in behavior or speech at all. There is just a lot going on today.

I may be able to start work soon but we'll see. I wouldn't write about the work if it happens, but I'm having to really wait and see if it happens because I don't know that it will yet. If it does, it would be a good thing, all the way around.

3:15 p.m. PST. Not good. But, I partly think I know why. I found out today many of my medical records are being intentionally and purposefully altered.