I want to let people know what has really been going on, to get my son back and so others know how they've been misled, but everytime I try, or get close, I and my son are harmed further.
The lengths that others have gone to, to keep my son from me are truly horrible and I have been subjected to pressure from people in governmnet positions in my own country, and probably outside of my own country too. I don't even know if there is a better place and where it might be, that would allow me to prosper without using me and keeping me down.
There are others I've been concerned about, who are never going to know, probably, what kind of warped games have been played with their lives and how they are nothing more than pawns to be used in a worldgame. I feel sorry for them, but I don't know what to do anymore.
I know what is happening with my son is very sick. I know the things I've been put through, and literally, the technology used against me, has been sick.
If the U.S. has computer experts and military, they very well could figure out what's going on and fix it or put an end to it, but because they don't, and it is used whenever, there is no other explanation than that they're involved.
And then I see Obama signed more sections of The Patriot Act which is just another excuse to abuse citizens longer. Not that being in war isn't good enough, as there are exceptions clauses to that.
I try to get simple things done and can't even manage because of the immense distractions and complications put in my path. The lengths people have gone to here, to run my clock out with my son, are totally, in itself alone, should be criminal.
After seeing some of the things I see, I even wonder if it's possible for people to create or set an earthquake into action...which would seem ludicrous, but how do I know? I'm sure they're natural most of the time, but how do I know if withdrawing enough liquid from one spot (which, I read, can create earthquakes) or drilling or doing something, doesn't set events off?
I really want massive devastation to the State of Washington for all the things I've been put through, and my son as well. It is human to feel this way, and not right maybe, but if anyone knew HOW much we've been put through, for nothing, I think they'd understand.
I was thinking about writing an article, being more informative about some events because I read some of the articles out there and realize I could do almost as good of a job if I just get to the sources quick enough and then write it out. I have decent angles too, but I'm not up to it yet. I did call the USDS Earthquake people to ask whether a large tsunami was possible for the Pacific NW if one didn't hit Hawaii and I was told yes, it's possible because the geography underwater and the direction of the flow--they're totally different. Not much is expected, but they are not completely inter-related.
I feel like some people have been sad for the dolphins today. With so many people referring to me as one or bringing it up around me anymore, I wonder what that significance is. I'm a dolphin as in, I'm trapped to entertain others in my own misery or for the profits of others? I'm a dolphin as in I still don't know enough about my family history? I have no idea. I think someone out there knows and I keep trying to find that person or figure out who it is, to know where to go, to save myself and my son.
I am trying to talk to some people from my past. I am talking to a friend tonight, but just friends from regular school and nothing big. But I tried to call Mike Tancer today, because I don't know if he might know something. I don't know if he would help me or want to do me in more, but when I look back on things, he seemed pretty paranoid, and now that I've been through what I've been trhough, maybe his respsonse to whatever was going on, was right. I don't know. I asked for tancer and she said "cancer" and I said no, tancer. But no listing.
Then, I think there is someone out there maybe who does care, but i don't know who it is and maybe they'll never tell me.
There are people who care about me, but only so far. They care about the motives of the other groups a lot more than they really care about just me and my son.
People I talked to, or some I heard, sounded sad today. Maybe they're worried about things I'm also worried about.
Wouldn't it be strange if I found out I had been experimented on, but people wanted to do it partly to discredit me and underline some idea that there was something wrong with me? Like, give me medication without my consent or knowledge and then act normal around me and quit the harassment so it appeared as though whatever "worked" when it never changed anything and the environment just changed? and then the minute I'm off of the experimental medications, suddenly introduce once again, harassment and abuse and then claim I'm paranoid or that I'm not functioning properly because I'm not on the medication when really, it never had anything to do with medications but the fact that there is natural trauma from being fried along with my son and having no one intervene. One thing to abuse, another thing under the guise of legitimacy, and then still another to try to tamper with and manipulate results to favor a particular verdict and dissuade anyone from thinking there is actually a problem to begin with. Lets just chalk it all up to "hey, when she was on this, she was fine!" as a convenient way to cover the truth. I've been thinking about a lot of things.
I think I would like to expand on this idea, in a future post. If I had a drink, I would toast to myself.
There were probably some things I really did need, for a short time, but no one wanted to say why. They just knew. For example, my thumb that was withering and wrinkled and aged and how this was appearing on my son too. I had it on me for almost a month at least and then one day, shazam, I eat something and the next day it's gone. And it disappears from my son too. Was it an experiment or just a way to give an antidote to erase or mask evidence?
The last time I saw my son there was evidence of the tinea versicolor on his face again, a spot above his eyebrow. I didn't say anything because the last time I made a big deal about it, someone sliced off that part of his face so it wasn't there anymore. Another time, it looked like someone had scrubbed the hell out of his face. I don't know what other methods have been used. Covering this would only benefit medical professionals in the town and their friends or anyone who wants to deny anything I've ever said happened to my son, actually happened. It would benefit anyone who just wants an excuse to say I'm delusional or there's something wrong with me.
At any rate, I wonder because I wonder still about all of the psychologists and other medical professionals who were so keen to observe me in D.C. and then, I guess, follow up later as well.
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6 comments:
Cameo, I feel so bad for you. You are tormented and paranoid. Please seek help for your mental illness.
You write: "I really want massive devastation to the State of Washington for all the things I've been put through, and my son as well. It is human to feel this way, and not right maybe, but if anyone knew HOW much we've been put through, for nothing, I think they'd understand."
You do realize that you live in the state of Washington, your son lives in the state of Washington so you'd be included in the wishful devastation. Do you have so much hatred for people that you want them to lose their loved ones? Are your that selfish? That way of thinking is unimaginable.
If you actually feel that way, and you haven't been through near what other people have been through, then you are not anything close to the person you want everyone to believe (and there are people that do know what kind of a person you are).
You don't pray for something bad to happen to people, you pray that things change and you keep praying. Your prayers are always answered, however, they may not be answered the way you want or when you want. I've learned that over the years and that's what faith is always about.
to the person claiming I'm mentall ill. see my comments under the post about CIA paying to abuse foster children.
thanks
To the other Anonymous,
I was talking to my friend last night and told her how I had prayed for this. I explained to her, which I didn't explain here, that I didn't pray for deaths. I didn't ask for people to die, I prayed for massive devastation and for people to lose everything.
I think it's self righteous to presume no one ever prays this kind of prayer to God, after seeing their child subjected to such trauma, seeing corruption, and the like, for YEARS with no help from the U.S. persons who should be helping.
I don't go around praying this kind of prayer everyday. In fact, there have been maybe 2 other times in my entire life I prayed for harm or something to avenge what has happened with my son. If peace doesn't work, and forgiveness 70X7 doesn't work, there is nothing wrong with praying for justice, from God's hand.
I am not like those who never even consult God and take matters into their own hands to torture innocent children and ruin someone. I have never hurt anyone in my life.
For everything there is a season, and God is not just a God of love and peace, but one to fear and who does avenge in his own timing.
This State has done great, irreparable, harm to me and my son and persons here and in an adjoining state or two, have worked together (with a few East Coast people as well) to ruin my life, out of jealousy, hatred, fear, and misplaced religious or political zeal.
I prayed that my son would be safe but I prayed for a great earthquake or tsunami. It seems some people have too much time on their hands for creating problems and maybe those hands should be put to work, rebuilding their own lives instead of trying to tear other's lives down.
It is not up to me, obviously, to pray for devastation. But sometimes, God does answer prayer, and even big prayers. I believe this.
I have already prayed that God would change hearts but that has gone nowhere. I have been patient enough, and have only accumulated more reasons for praying sincerely that God will take charge, because obviously, no one in the U.S. government with any influence or power, has been willing to do so. Or has been stymied by others and prevented from doing so.
I do have faith. I have faith that God, should he be willing, could allow a major catastrophe to occur. "If you have faith like a mustard seed, you can move mountains." I'm quite sure God can literally move mountains with earthquakes and other disasters.
I am not Pat Robertson or someone who is thinking that because devastation happened, the country must have done something wrong and is being punished. MORE OFTEN, it is those who are good who are punished and who suffer, while those who are wicked or cruel continue to prosper. So I don't believe there is a direct equation to the idea of karma. The God I believe in, is not a "karma" God.
Will continue
continuing from last post:
Karma is the idea that whatever you do here will be punished or paid for in this lifetime or the next, in direct proportion.
Karma completely fails to explain why horrible things happen to good people and why good hearts are persecuted and even tortured.
In a perfect, balanced world, each action would be met with an equal consequence. But that's not what happens in life. There are people who suffer to the end who are innocent. There are people wrongly convincted for things they didn't do, who get the death penalty, or "life". There are people tortured as POWS for just being patriots of their own country, or sometimes, are rejected and persecuted by their own citizens for being more of a patriot than society deems proper.
So just because something bad happens, like someone gets cancer or some natural disaster occurs or someone is persecuted, doesn't mean they did anything wrong. There are plenty of Jobs in the world. They suffer and yet are always right in their hearts torwards God.
However, one CAN pray for justice and for the hand of God to move in more dramatic ways. One CAN pray for a drought or major devastation and I believe sometimes God even answers those prayers.
There is a saying about how it is more difficult for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Well, I believe it is harder for God to change hearts than it is for him to change the weather.
God gives people free will. Can he work in lives? sure. I believe the holy spirit can soften people, but really, God respects free will. As for the weather on the other hand, it is probably easier to move mountains than it is for God to move even one stubborn man.
Bring on the weather and devastation, I say. I want fucking plagues at this point, and if all the prophets can pray likewise out of a sound mind and spirit and heart, so can I.
That means, probably nothing will happen in 50 years or so, but I can still ask and wait to see if God will bless my prayer, and that is having faith just as much as praying for change is having faith.
I'm tired of people not only persecuting me and my son, but others who act out of a sincere desire to help others in general. I'm tired of the jealousy, bigotry, and hatred. I'm tired of the disgrace that has come to the name of god from people who have set up their idols above honoring human dignity and rights.
Hmm,
took a shower and thought and realized some of what I wrote came out wrong and will be misunderstood.
So, to try to clarify...first of all, I do not think rich people will not go to heaven. i just used that proverb for parallel but it's according to what you give from what you have, not what you have.
Secondly, I do not think I'm God or that god generally listens to prayers about weather and I believe most things are random. however, on very rare occasion, i think he does listen and answer prayers. There is actually a guy who used to work for the U.S. military who got credibility after he told someone he could affect the weather and would call for a drought and for a certain period and it happened. It's documented but I'm sure that's one in a milliion but he was an expert psychic and remote viewer and I don't know what religion or if he asked God for help or what.
Thirdly, if anyone could gather, part of the purpose of such a prayer, is to vent to God. I know it made me feel better. Princess Di was said to have been overjoyed to hear from a psychic that charles would die in a crash. Was she really happy at the thought? probably not. It was probably a mood brought on by being wounded and abused from different fronts and it was natural for her to think such a thing after so much pressure--it's human, even if this is the kind of "sadism" I don't like, in others or myself. On rare occasion, I see nothing alarming about it. It's an expression not a manifestationn or action taken.
Do I really believe in God? yes. I very firmly believe in God.
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