I want to write about the visit, things besides bruises. Oliver had a dog day. But a good dog day. It was all about the puppy on a leash that I bought for him which he had walking with him by remote control and then there was Clifford The Red Dog book he wanted me to read over and over. Out of the entire basket of books, he wanted Clifford and the Pumpkin Patch.
I asked Oliver what the name of his puppy on a leash was, that he was walking, and he said it was "Mingo". It took him only a minute. He thought for a second, and then said Mingo. I don't know if Mingo is a character from a Disney movie? I don't know, the dog isn't a dingo breed. I'll have to look Mingo up.
It was really cute, seeing him walk around with the dog on the leash. He'd wait and watch and then pull it along, dragging it. It's not very fast. Then he was swinging it a little bit and saying "whee!"
He was probably on a dog theme but went straight for the Clifford book. I read a different one and he didn't want me to read it again. But he liked Clifford. He also saw the Indian face on a poster that is also a sign in Wenatchee with rolling eyes and he pointed it out and rolled his eyes back and forth.
In the last visit with Oliver, he was pointing out all of the baby and mama pairings in animals. He was just going on and on about babies with their mama. Today it was about dogs and drawing, oh, and cars or things that you can drive. He was driving a hummer around and pressing all the buttons. Then he decided to draw and he did a really interesting couple of pictures.
One he started in the middle, drawing a round circle and then two mountain semi-circle shapes over it. Then, it was a long board, long as a classroom chalkboard--he drew a line from one end all the way to the other end, but with hills and then below it, he drew a solid straight line, against the rim.
Finally, he started a new creation and drew this cool shape that was all it's own, but he was very deliberate when he drew it. It was the shape of a tadpole. Or maybe a fish? But the control was really good...he drew the shape and then he traced the shape he'd just drawn over it. And then he put something very specific in the middle. He then went from one end of the board to the other, with a very long line.
He then wanted me to draw a moon. So I drew a full moon. But it's not what he wanted so I drew a sliver of a moon. He directed me to draw a moon rising over the horizon. And then he wanted a multitude of stars. He said, "Star! Draw a Star!" and then more "stars". He wanted BIG BIG stars. I drew a huge star and he said, happily, "Oooooh! scary!" and then I put a smiley face on the star and wrote "Hi Oliver!" and he recognized his name without my saying so. Next I drew a little boy saying "Hi Star!" He then wanted to color in the stars and worked on coloring things in.
The one time I became concerned was when he took off with a black pen, uncapped. I said we couldn't run around the room with it, and not uncapped and he kept putting himself standing in a corner not looking at me, like he was on time-out or something but then would run. When I came for him anyway, before he marked up the walls, and not angry or upset at all, he freaked out and got this horrible expression on his face, stamping his feet and afraid and started to cry. I could tell it was fear. He thought I was going to spank him. I could tell my son has changed in this regard, because I do NOT and never HAVE and do NOT believe in hitting my son. But i know the Avila's do and it was horrible to see this fear on his face that he was going to be punished with harm. Physical harm. I took the pen and he was upset and backed off and then laid down. I sat next to him and said, "Oliver, did you think mama was going to spank you? honey, some adults spank but mama doesn't spank. Even if mama is upset or you don't listen, I want you to know mama is never, ever, going to spank you." He knows I don't, and all my neighbors knew I never did, ever, but I feel he's forgotten what adults do. And I know he's spanked by the Avilas because they admit it and I believe his daycare person did too. When i told him I would never hit him and he didn't have to worry, he looked up, perked up, got a big smile on his face, and nestled close to me for a story. It's like I'm having to go in and undo all this bad that's been done to him, and remind him of MY parenting philosophy. I don't share the parenting philosophies of Sgt. Moore and Mathison, nor of Michelle E or many CPS workers who think spanking is just fine. I practice attachment parenting and I've read a lot more books about parenting ideas than Michelle E. When Alvaro was with me when I was going through my stuff in storage, every single book almost, was a parenting book. He lined up about 15 parenting books. And then I showed him one of my typical book order forms which had been mailed to me to let me know a book I'd ordered from Hasting's was in: Jean Piaget.
Everything I did, was about my son. And then I have idiots like Michelle, who don't have kids, who never spent the practice time that I've spent (since I was 11), and who ALSO READ books and educate themselves in child development. Not just general stuff either, but the pyschology of children and book about fostering emotional and intellectual security.
Then I have to listen to people like Michelle saying my son doesn't know his mother's voice over the phone, and that he doesn't understand time, and a bunch of b.s.
Anyway, we also had a picnic on the blanket. Instead of sitting at a table, my son and I have picnics when we have visitation. It's more fun for the short time we have together. He wanted me to feed him his yogurt again and I did and he ate happily. I always ask if he'd like to,but he's much happier with me doing it and says, "No, with YOU." So i do. Then I showed him the photos of the cheese and apples on crackers with flowers on the top and he laughed at the idea of eating flowers. I told there are edible flowers but to ask an adult before trying to eat them. I thought, Oh great, this downtown Wenatchee born and bred monitor is going to write, "Strange mother tells her son they should eat flowers."
I offered comox brie on wheat and sesame crackers but he didn't want to try it. I think he thought the cheese looked funny. He did like the almonds. He likes nuts, like me.
He was very excited to see me again and when I told him I was going to see him in TWO days, his eyes were bright and he was happy.
Oh, we also blew bubbles, spent a lot of time playing with balloons and I showed him how to cut off the air and then it out at whatever volume he wanted and he was absorbed in this for a long time.