Caught Up & On Torture

I finally got some sleep.

It's an odd hour but I fell asleep last night at about 8 p.m. or so. I have a lot of catching up to do with TTSOMLs.

I've been really sad for my son in the last few days, and this has stressed me out. It's also the shock of knowing how wrong the hearing was and how it violated my civil rights and I was not in a position to do anything about it or to even seek recourse through appeal. When I have a moment, I will be securing a lawyer to help me get an appeal and if not that, someone to help me file a civil rights case, over here, for discrimination and violation of the right to due process.

I've had a few tell me I have a case.

My main point in documenting what's happened, all of this, is to preserve a public record of actual events that have taken place. Someone or some people will able to add things up. Others will better understand how these things could have given someone or some group motive to cause me and my son harm.

My last few posts were pretty much evidence, I think of PTSD and of the desperation I feel to prove what has happened.

I am pretty much, going to put all distraction aside and attempts to distract myself from completing this. I don't have time. I have done my best, with what I've got, but I hear my son over the phone and I need to start psyching myself up for the halfway mark and visualize going around the third and last, fourth, lap. The sooner I get this done, the sooner I can start faking what I have to fake to get my son back and then get out of here. At least the truth will have been told, before I start to pretend I don't believe in myself anymore and that none of this is real, and fake whatever I have to fake to get my son.

After I have my son, that will not be the end of this.

I need someone's help to prove these things--I cannot do this alone. It is impossible.

I wonder what everyone would think if all of a sudden I got cancer, or my son did too, after all of this. I've predicted everything accurately up to this point. It's not inevitable, but I'm told, cancer often follows this kind of exposure, within 5 years or so. That was what the former Catholic monk told me, who was my taxi driver in Wenatchee, that one day back from the hospital. He said first my period would stop, within several months to a year, and that then, typically, cancer follows. He said because this kind of radiation targets reproductive organs (different fields and rays are drawn, through density of water and other factors in the body, to different areas), this is usually where it starts.

So maybe I'm dying and I don't even know it. I know what he said about the periods has already happened, and I don't have "endometriosis". There is no other explanation, unless the doctors in Wenatchee want to start taking credit for tearing my body apart during the traumatic childbirth that damaged me and my son, which they convinced, through their manufactured medical records, CPS to think never happened. I have photos of the injury to my son's head.

Take your pick. I am not going through premenopause because of stress. I've been stressed out more before, and the way my periods CAME BACK and then tapered away, fits exposure to electromagnetic fields. And my son's speech, which CPS claims is "normal" now, is NOT normal. He still cannot form words and sentences well. He is extremely delayed, not just for his age in general, but especially for him. He is traumatized by his separation from me, and reacts to anyone leaving him for any reason, for any length of time, and I hear how he sounds over the phone. My son has suffered the most, and he was and is innocent, and his suffering has absolutely nothing to do with me or my care of him.

I was never "negligent".

We were tortured.

It seems only a few people with connections to the military happen to believe me.

They know my descriptions add up. Some people DO know.