TTSOML #79: My Sexual History & Crimes Against Me

This is something I would keep to myself, except for the fact that I wonder if some of the men I was involved with, knew eachother or were government employees. I wonder too, why I only claim Bujanda and Garza assaulted me, when, in the technical terms, I was assaulted by more than them. I suppose it's because it was more shocking coming from FBI employees, when they were claiming to be recruiting me for the FBI, and also, out of humiliation. But there was a little bit of a pattern, and if they are, any of them, connected in any way, they used my absolute intoxication to take advantage of me, in what is considered, by legal standards, to be crime.

Perhaps this kind of behavior is so prevalent, anything will be done by sympathizers, to cover it up. Or maybe it was just to try to break me down, while I was trying to press through with litigation against the Catholic church.

At this point in my life, I don't really expect to ever be married or even in a relationship with someone. I think I'm too much of an embarrassment. Most men wouldn't want someone who is willing to put their sex life online either, especially when it's not one that makes me more appealing, but something to be pitied rather than fantasized about.

One person, in particular, who never wanted me to go forward to police about any of the things that happened to me, was Christa Schneider. She said it would harm my reputation and women just needed to keep it to themselves. I've been blamed for thing before, too, like being responsible or consenting.

But I know the difference between consent and inability to give legal consent. I didn't know then, and I didn't even realize what was happening to me was crime, but then I found out. And looking back, I realized I'd been a victim of crime more than once, and that the few times I'd tried to get accountability for something, it was shoved under the rug.

I know what real men are like, because I've met them. I've been with men who repsected me, and even lived with others, who, even though they had plenty of opportunities, never laid a hand on me when I was in a vulnerable position.

I know what the difference is. I think, before I continue to write about filing my claims, and the police profiling that began, I'm going to write a general timeline of my involvements with men.