TTSOML #80: My Sex History Timeline & Tancer/Heinz/Kerry

Age

1-16 Nothing

16-24 Had kissed and made out with one person in my life--Robin Bechtold. Did not have intercourse. Made out a few times.

24 1998. Date rape by coworker, under intoxication, AND while screaming at him to stop. Reported this to police in 2002.
I never drank, at that time in my life, at all. I had a half bottle of wine.

24 1998. Met Bryan and dated him, with my full and willing consent. Cried every single time, and then broke up with him
after I felt too guilty, having such relations outside of marriage. Went back to being celibate, and was celibate for
for another 3 years.

24 1998. Went to Mt. Angel Abbey to be able to study without having men approach me in the library. I wanted a safe
place to go.

25 1999. Met Christa Scheider. Began going out for one drink on the weekends. Told her everything about my life
including non-existant sex life and desire to wait until marriage. The only other person who had this information was
Dan Gatti and Greg Smith. It was after I told Gatti that he wanted me to date his son. He was surprised I'd been with
practically no one and celibate so long, and said he'd take my case because he knew what the Abbey was saying didn't
add up. He believed me, that I'd never attempted to seduce a monk and that they knew of my history.

26 2000.
Still celibate. Didn't get involved with anyone. Shocked by attempts of Abbey to claim I was a seductress when it was
so far from the truth. If they could smear me, they'd smear anyone, I decided. A police officer from Mt. Angel wanted
date me, Scott ______, and then decided against it, he claimed, after he found out my name was on their "board" bc
of the Abbey's claims I had done something wrong.

27 2001.
Began dancing on Friday nights under intoxicated state, but with only 2 drinks over a very long night, from 9 p.m.-3 or
4 a.m. The only time I ever drank, was on this night, while dancing. I didn't have an alcohol problem by any means. But
I was very new to drinking with zero prior experience and didn't know my tolerance levels. Since I was usually with my
friend Christa, I decided it was safe to drink because she'd look out for me. I never went home with anyone or got
involved with anyone.

28 2002.
It was after I filed the Abbey lawsuits, and after the WW article that I got involved with anyone. First, Beau Blixseth tried
and I forgot to mention, did try to get me to a hotel room after I was intoxicated from the glass of wine (his second
attempt). The first person I was with, after 3 years of celibacy, was Adam Segovia, and it was after he went out dancing
with me, but I think he was also drunk. He wanted me to kiss him publicly, though, at the bar, I remember. I was so
drunk, I obliged, even though I'm not into public displays at all. I can't say he took advantage of me because he seemed
drunk himself. After that, we were together consensually, and went out a few times, until I just cut it off. It was my
choice. I knew him for several months (maybe even a year? and saw him all the time at the library) before I ever went out dancing with him.

I think it was after Segovia that I was with my former boyfriend from high school, Robin Bechtold. It was after I'd been
drinking and my friend said she thought he had taken advantage of me. I didn't know what she was talking about and I
told him and I remember he acted panicking and made an attempt to write a bunch of email which later sounded like
covering his ass to me (he was already a lawyer by then besides). I had never heard of invalid consent before. I remember
telling Christa, crying, that I didn't know what was wrong with me, because I had high standards and didn't want to have
sex before marriage but that for some reason, everything changed after I was drinking. I remember crying about this. She
never gave helpful advice or instruction as to why this was--that it's not possible to make appropriate judgments while
totally smashed and that my consent was not really consent, nor was it my fault when the other party was sober and took
advantage of the situation.

29 2003.
I focused on the litigation I think and didn't allow things to distract me. I told Christa I didn't need the distraction of men
or of a boyfriend. After the WW article about me came out, in 2002, I pretty much went downhill. At the time it was
printed, I had been celibate for 3 years and waiting for marriage, and prior to that, had been raped at 24, as a virgin, and
then had had one consensual relationship. But they tried to make me out to be a seductress and writing sexually graphic
email, which I never did. Christa kept trying to drag me away from my research and litigation, by inviting me out to dance
or to different venues, but I noticed it was always around the time of important deadlines. Things weren't adding up with
her, but I didnt' want to assume without evidence.

After Halloween of 2003, I went dancing with a different friend from high school, whom I'd known for over a decade. I got
drunk at this thing called a "pajama party" which was at a club. I wasn't wearing pajamas but most were. I started
dancing with this guy who first seemed to scowl at me and then approached me to dance. It was Mike Tancer. He was a
really good dancer. I didn't know who he was and asked if he liked bossa nova. He said he did. I asked what he did for
work and he said he studied parasites, which I thought was funny in the setting we were in. I asked him what his last
name was but didn't ask him for his first name. He said it was Tancer. He asked me to go home with him and I said no.
Then, I left with my friend but had forgotten my card at the bar. I went back and he was there and we filled our cards out
together. Or receipts. I said I'd go with him but I wasn't having sex. I told my friend outside and she said I was drunk
and didn't know what I was doing and she tried to pull me away. This after telling me she was attracted to me earlier in
the night. I had no idea she was interested in women, at all. She cut me off, a friendship of over 15 years, because of
my decision to leave with Tancer. I said I just wanted to make out but Tancer wanted to do more and did, but he didn't
press sex. He had me do something to him. Then he drove me home in the morning and took my phone number. When
I told Christa, and told her he'd told me his parents had a winery, called Iron Horse, and other details, she told me not to
go out with him the next time. He'd been shocked when I told him I was planning, or wanted to join the FBI through the
lawyer referral program. He kept asking if I was FBI. He was surprised I read the NYT.

Next time I went out with him, he took me to a nice dinner. I had one margarita and then we went to an art show in St.
Johns, for his friend from Lewis & Clark, a son of Theresa Heinz, John Kerry's wife. He said they should have some good
"stuff" (this was before I told him about wanting to be in the FBI) and it was very clear he meant drugs. The Heinz guy was
scruffy looking and large, and wearing a white suit. His art was a massive, wall mounted vagina or something, made out
cones. It took up almost the entire wall. I was snubbed by one of the women there and the Heinz guy (who Tancer said
a was a ketschup heir and who I didn't know anything about) was looking me up and down. He was feeling me out and
after this, Tancer got a call from them and told them he'd be over later. It seemed they wanted him to come over later,
without me. So Tancer takes me out to Bar 15 first and I ordered a vodka-soda. I don't know what was in it, but I was
exceptionally drunk after drinking only half of it. I was staggering drunk and unable to hold onto my purse. I told him
I didn't want to have sex but he said I could just sleep. I was completely ready to pass out. I got to his place and he gave
me pajama bottoms

UPDATE. I decided, after my "break" post and listening to "Umbrella" about 20 times, I'm going to finish this in Part II of My Sex History.
UPDATE. Changed my mind. I don't think I want 3 "sex history" posts on my blog. So, continuing with tancer...

...After I got changed, I fully intended to sleep, and then other things happened. I cannot say it was consensual, because
I was so much farther inebriated than Tancer was, and he hadn't even had hardly anything to drink. I also didn't know
why I was SO out of it, because half a drink shouldn't have done that to me. I had the other margarita with dinner and
time had passed. The next morning, things happened and I was still a little out of it. I didn't make a big deal about it
and he drove me home. He had made a big deal, telling me how drunk he was the first night we were together, and it
seemed panicky. At this time in my life, it never crossed my mind that something "illegal" was taking place. I didn't
get sex ed in high school because my parents opted me out. I didn't drink until very late in life and was still getting to
know tolerance. I never heard anything about sexual harassment or consent and non-consent as I didn't go to a college
that required a seminar or anything in it. I'd never heard of it. I just felt something WAS wrong, but I blamed myself. I
figured there was something wrong with me and that I must have a total lack of self-control where others seemed to
have no problem. I thought it was my responsibility to know what my limitations were, but I didn't really have practice
or protection. I never knew there was an actual law that was supposed to protect me, and that other people knew about
it. I just blamed myself. I thought I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't an alcoholic. I rarely drank, and I didn't drink to get drunk but just buzzed--however I hadn't found my limit yet. And I thought, I don't want to be with a bunch of people, so I thought, since I was already with
Tancer, I'd see if things worked out with him. It was the next time I was planning to be with him that Christa warned me
not to go. He had called and wanted to come over and I didn't call him back. I didn't put him first or at the top of my
priority list because I spent most of my time researching legal theories. I spent an entire Saturday ignoring his calls
while I tried to get work done, because I was putting work first (the Saturday of the night we went to the nice dinner and art thing). So then he wanted to get together on a Friday or
something, instead of Saturday and I said I'd go over since I'd missed his call the day before. I went over to his place,
and I suppose I don't even know if it was his place for sure, but it was a large apartment/loft next to a Catholic church.
When he picked me up for dinner the car he drove, he said, wasn't his. It was some kind of racecar or had some sort of
turbo engine or something but he apologized for it. I don't know what his car was supposed to be. I didn't ask. So I
went to his place and was working on my legal stuff while he watched t.v. and then he carried me to his room. I was
with him, it was consensual, and not involving alcohol, and then the next morning but he seemed to be changed and
cold. I told him I was planning to move to Wenatchee to get state residency there for legal and other reasons, and he
said his mother had been born there and raised there. So he had ties to Wenatchee. On a prior occasion, he received
his passport from a courier at the door, early in the morning. He showed it to me, and told me he was going to Thailand
or India or something, for 3 months, on business. He expressed something of an interest in me, but I went back and
forth and said I had too many things going on and it wasn't good timing. I really liked him, a lot. I thought we had more
common than even he knew, because I didn't give all my cards away, but I was focused on the litigation. I didn't think
he had anything to do with my litigation, at all. I had a migraine, once at his place, and he gave me a head massage, and
then acted weird when he saw me take some pills. "What is this?!" he said. They were muscle relaxants. Flexeril from
Mexico because they were cheaper. I didn't know why he even cared, except maybe that I took them before we went to
bed together, because my head was killing me. Besides, his friend, Heinz, I was sure, was into the cocaine business,
as I was told by Tancer, he had "really good" shit. Of course, I never saw it, because they called and didn't want me to
be there with Tancer. That night, Tancer went to his place with me instead of out to the after-party. It is POSSIBLE that
drink was a normal drink, but it just seems very odd. It could have been a double, or something, because it didn't affect
me normally. It seemed to me, there was something else in that drink. He seemed amused by it and said how could I get so drunk? He actually told me I didn't have to finish it, and set it aside. It was bizarre and at his place, later, I couldn't even move when he decided to have sex with me, after I told him I just wanted to go to sleep. When I left his place, I accidentally left behind a ring and my flexeril pills. Tancer had told me he could
get me some Vicodin for my migraines, so this reinforced my idea that he had a drug connection (which now, I obviously
have no problem with because I support getting rid of drug laws now). I don't know if perhaps this was used against
me though.

I had zero experience with drugs. If Tancer wasn't also a federal employee, and didn't know Garza and Bujanda, I believe
it's possible the FBI bugged Tancer's place. Christa asked where it was, so they would know. I actually think, though,
that she didn't know where I was going that first night, after dancing. No one would have guessed. I don't think. And
yet the comments Bujanda and Garza repeated, which I made to Tancer that night, while inebriated, were repeated by
the FBI guys like they'd either been there, heard things, seen something, or were filled in on the details. I said a bunch
of silly stuff to Tancer, and was talking while we made out, and even sang a little. NO. WAIT. I DID talk to Tancer that
first night, and he thought I was charming and more "fun" than other women because of it. HOWEVER, the comments
that Bujanda and Garza repeated WERE after I'd already told Christa about Tancer, and how I thought he had friends
into drugs. Because it was comments I made the last time I was with Tancer, that were repeated to me by the FBI. This
was also after I'd told Tancer AND Christa I wanted to join the FBI as a lawyer. Tancer gave me a meltable excederin
which tasted awful and I complained and he said it was the latest thing and so I said sarcastically, in a feigned voice of
pleasure, "Mmmm! It's smooooth!" and he cracked up laughing. Garza repeated this same thing to me, and a few other
things, later, when I met them. I wondered if Tancer worked for the FBI at all because he said he did research for OHSU
and when I went to the Portland FBI building, I noted there was a department of OHSU in the same building, one floor
above the FBI offices. I wondered if there was a connection. Tancer seemed paranoid that I might be FBI though, and kept wanting to say how drunk he'd been that first night and later too.

I went to the FBI office in Portland, Oregon, to hand over a timeline to S.A. Julia Thornton after she had met me to take
my complaint about Garza and Bujanda after it happened. I mainly went to see where it was and see if I could pick up
any clues as to what was around it. I was curious, because I wanted to know how close it was to where I'd first met
Bujanda for coffee, etc.

I met Tancer after Halloween and saw him until November's end. I asked him to return my flexeril and my ring and he
refused. He wouldn't return my calls. I finally told him I would file a small claims lawsuit if he didn't return my things
and then all of a sudden, he said I could pick them up. I told him I was NOT going to pick them up and to mail them to me but he said he'd drop them off. Finally he did. He had told me, "I'm a jerk sometimes" from the first. He acted like one too. As much as I liked him on one hand and didn't want to go to some other guy, things didn't add up right. I thought maybe later they could. I told him to look me up in a year, after things had settled down for me. He didn't call me until after
I'd reported the FBI guys and moved to Wenatchee, or started commuting to Wenatchee. After I reported Bujanda and Garza, not to Julia Thornton, but to the special S.A.s from the FBI east coast and west coast, all of a sudden he tried to call. I thought it was odd. My grandmother told me she got a call from "Mike" and that he told her I had his number. I didn't have his number as I'd gotten rid of it. I wondered if Mike had something to do with the FBI and learned about the complaint and was trying to reach me to talk to me, the same way Raul Bujanda suddenly called me and had a "trinket" to give me after I first complained about him to Julia Thornton. I had a bad feeling about it. If Mike really wanted to call, he'd call me again. I wasn't going on the record as the one who called HIM, as I knew it could be made to appear.

I believe there is a likely connection between the Abbey lawyers/church, Mike and the FBI guys. Too many things. It was after I made this complaint to the FBI, which Christa didn't want me to do, that she totally backed off. Other things happened with HER first, which I'll go into, but she invited me to a kind of "last supper" in Oregon, with a bunch of people who glared at me and then pretended to like me, and then she would only check in occasionally to see what was going on. This occured after I lost my claims and they were dismissed. It was like her work, primary work, was done.

I not only reported the FBI guys, but I also reported what I believed was drug activity by a John Kerry relation-by-marriage. Heinz. I emailed this information and spoke to the FBI about it. This was all during election process which I wasn't involved in. I was so wrapped up with Catholic church litigation, I didn't care about politics. I had voted Republican in the past, and voted for Bush the first time, but abstained from voting at all the second time around. I didn't know what I thought about anything anymore, and wasn't registered correctly and it just seemed like a hassle. I was apathetic, pretty much.

But Kerry lost. I wondered if anyone ever leaked the fact that I had brought anything up about Tancer and Heinz.

People question who would harm my son and me. I have reported enough power people to be at risk. There is abundant motive. I just don't know who exactly, but I do think the Catholic church, not the whole entity, but some people within, have had their hand in this all along. When I moved to Wenachee, after reporting the FBI, and still in litigation with the Archdiocese, I suddenly started getting written up as "mentally ll" and "drug seeking".

By the time I had my son, and we were ripped to shreds, I was also classified as an "alcoholic".

I hardly ever drank. When I did, I was assaulted.

By the government and most likely, those who were both government AND Catholic.

I think I don't even know the half of it. Yet.

30 2004. ___________ His name is blanking out right now.
By this time, I had lost my defamation claim, it was dismissed when I kept getting sick and couldn't defend for it. It was
odd how I kept getting bronchitis. I was extremely sick, and kept getting it, for over 6 months. I also had problems
with my fax and electronics in Oregon. I had told Christa all the psychological crap the Abbey pulled didn't work with
me and that I was strong enough. I told her my main distraction was men because when I started to fall for someone,
I slacked off on my research and drive. It was a distraction, and I wondered if this was why I kept having these horrible
situations with men enter my life, to distract and traumatize me. I also told her, basically, nothing but physical illness
deterred me from work and my passion. It was after this, and after I expressed this self-revelation, that I became ill
all the time with bronchitis. Before, I'd just noticed it when I had my knee surgery and had to recover. I told Christa I
was going out one night, dancing, by myself, because I was stressed, and I met someone I was with for quite some time
until I realized what a user and jerk he was. I wondered if he had been a set up as well. When you have a total stranger,
a bartender, telling you to ditch the jerk and that you're better than that, you know something is wrong. I was trying to
make something last with one person though. But it wasn't my fault. Not only did he lie about some things, he told me
later he was bisexual and that he wasn't with other men in "that way" but I later saw him in a car with some guy we'd
met while going out. I met his mother and sister, so he seemed to be okay, but he was just iffy. It was as I was getting
out of things with him that I met the FBI guys. I was just finishing up with college and telling Christa I was taking
practice LSATs. I was planning to apply to law school and then FBI through lawyer referral program. I wanted to take
down bullys and corporate criminals, and fight for civil rights, and I wanted to get rid of church privileges. I was going
to file a federal complaint if I lost the defamation case, and Christa knew I planned to walk straight to the federal
courthouse, I told her over the phone, to file this, if I lost the hearing at the district court (a couple blocks away). I lost
and walked to the federal courthouse, which is when I just-so-happened to run into Raul Bujanda.

Assault by Bujanda and Garza. I'll get into details after the rest of the TTSOMLs are in order. But after this, I was shell-
shocked. I had told Christa it was my last "dream" and somethign I was working towards. I kept getting tickets in Oregon, by police officers, for things I wasn't doing, including the weird parking tickets that disappeared from court when I brought in my proof. Things got MUCH worse after I reported the FBI guys. So I knew I had to leave the state. But since everyone knew I was leaving, and where I was going, they just set things up there, and followed and tracked me. And that's when the crazy medical records began.

31 2005.

After the FBI guys assaulted me, and thinking about how these other guys always approached me when I was dancing
and/or intoxicated, I decided to stay away. I went to a few places to dance, but quit after I discovered no one "dances"
in Wenatchee. They drink beer and cling to their high school groups and are completely closed off to "strangers" and
outsiders. You don't "mingle" in Wenatchee. I refused to be with anyone that I thought had any connection whatever to
law enforcement, the Catholic church, or any of the problems I was trying to get away from. So when I finally did hook
up with someone, after having too much to drink (but he'd had equally too much to drink so we were even), it was an
orchard worker. He was sufficiently poor and non-threatening, didn't speak any English, and didn't know a god damn
thing about me. It probably would have never happened, but after a suicide attempt by me, after I CONTINUED to be h
harassed by Abbey attorney John Kaempf, I wasn't really myself. If I wasn't myself, at least I was safe with someone who
at least wasn't a threat or had an agenda. What John Kaempf did that set me off, was to file an anti-harassment order
against ME after I sent him an email making it clear I was filing one agaisnt HIM for harassing my Granny. Before I
could file it, but after I told him what I was doing, he turned around and tried to "get me first". This is after years of
harassment by him and his party, and their lies about me. So I'd had enough, I thought, and my own relatives were
turning out to be greedy, religious fanatics and didn't listen to me about my grandmother's alzheimers so I moved out...
to my relative's great chagrin...into one of their orchard workers cabins.

And actually, some of my best friends have been those in the hispanic community, who treated me like family more
than my own blood.

I wasn't sexually involved with anyone else after that. After my baby's father, I was celibate again, through the greater
2/3 of my pregnancy and then until my son was taken from my by CPS, after I tried to flee this god-forsaken country,
for Canada. Thinking it would be different.

I wonder what Canada thinks now. Maybe now they'll be mad that I said anything about a Heinz relative. It's all my
fault, right? that Bush got into office once again? all because I snitched to the FBI about a cocaine connection within
the Kerry community. Pardon my sarcasm, but it comes out now and then when I think about the shit I've been put
through.

So that's me. Big bad scary slut. So virginal though! Once upon a time. Before the crime. Oh, and then I started taking
a closer look at the U.S. connections to contributions to the IRA in Ireland and some other Catholic connections within the intelligence communities in the U.S. After the litigation with the Catholic church was over and I kept seeing all these police profiling me, and I'm wondering WHY.