For My Baby

I don't know why, but I feel a strange optimism right now, at this moment.

I feel maybe, something, is going to get cleared up.

I have no rationale for this feeling, but I feel it. Most of the time I feel utter despair and grief that nothing will ever be straightened out and cleared up. That I'll be stuck in this forever, with no one coming forward. But at this moment, I feel maybe something will change.

I hope so, for my son's sake. For my own sake as well.

Some things will never be repaired. I know what it is to suffer. Unfortunately, so does my son, and he did absolutely nothing wrong.

His mistake, was to be born to me. That I was the one God chose to be his mother.

I didn't think people could be capable of such cruelty until I lived it myself. But I hope someone who was indoctrinated to hate me, has realized I am not a saint, but I'm not all bad either. That some of the information was lies, and they were used. And I hope that they come forward, more than anything, not for me, but for my baby.