Wednesday, January 26, 2011

computer and other interference & perfume

My youtube isn't playing, it's just spinning, and there has been both sharp jabs to the head this morning and the heart tightening effect. I believe it's long distance crap.

I think some of it requires proximity but some of this doesn't.

The only part that is confusing is how so many others who have proximity are involved as well, in a direct or indirect way, with knowledge of what's going on even if they are not doing this firsthand.

How do you get so many to go along and keep mum about it unless they are doing it for very sincere religious (zealous) reasons, or for financial reasons which might also be accompanied with some kind of blackmail assurance?

Even if it's a few who have access to very powerful and incredible technology, how is some of it getting into the hands of regular "laypeople" and then how do you convince all of them to take a kind of omerta oath of silence?

Unless someone has been lining this up for a very very long time.

I've been supportive of Obama. Why is my family not?

I would have voted for him if I'd had a vote, but on both sides of my family there is a serious misgiving or reservation.

Is this because someone in my family is aware of all the things that have happened to me and my son without any intervention from the Obama Administration? most of Obama's administration is Catholic. Including the latest addition to the team. And for pro-life supporters I seriously question why there has been no effort against torture. I guess I do wonder about Jewish too, because they are allegedly such a strong component to politics and intel, and I have just wondered why my son and I have suffered if they have such great intel. If it's some other internationals or Protestants, I would want to get rid of them. It's not like I would protect Protestants simply bc they are Protestant. Anyone involved in participation of torture against me or my son, or who has known about it and allowed it or kept silent, to me, is guilty. If they are Protestant, they need to be dealt with. People from all religions have committed atrocities against other humans. I was trying to remember what religious groups the Nazi's were comprised of. I think they were maybe Catholic, Protestant and Agnostics or Atheists. I was thinking again recently, that maybe we have not had the right "spin" on things in the past. I always heard the Nazi's went after the Jews and Gypsies because they were believed to be defective but with all of the human experimentation that occured against these groups, it was almost like they just needed guinea pigs. And then I was thinking about how this research, which was comprehensive, was done in the approximate 1940s and then how the big boom in U.S. funding for human experimentation and mind control began in the 50s-60s. Any connection? I was just wondering about that. Because a lot of the research documentation was collected by the U.S. and some of the scientists ended up working for the CIA. Next thing we know, to keep up with the Joneses in Russia and China, we are using our own citizens for non-consensual experimentation. Russia had the temporary excuse of being an "atheist" nation that did not believe in God, and also did not believe in "free will". As did China. The forerunners in human experimentation and torture and mind control were the "godless, Communist countries" where individual rights like free will and human dignity were sacrificed for the "good of our country". What is the U.S. excuse? Are we still a nation "under God"?

In the U.S., we founded this country on Christian principles. And then we allowed a lot of assholes in. In the good natured name of tolerance and goodwill and trust, we allowed others to get in who did not share these same ideas and who have weakened the country and then tried to control others.

I guess the U.S. is a democracy but SOME U.S. government leaders get to be the "communists" who sacrifice families and individuals for politics and their own benefit. And these people have been bought by others who are trying to weaken the country, to their benefit as well. Even some who claim to be in support of free will or democracy, have been willing to sacrifice individual rights or me and my son, for their own agendas. And probably not just me and my son but others too.

Sacrifices are great, but they should probably be voluntary. Otherwise, it's just torture. And if you gain the respect of people by treating them well, sometimes they will even voluntarily choose to make the sacrifices that you desire or which would benefit the whole country.

Probably, since Russia has made the attempt to turn to free will and respect for human dignity, and since the U.S. was founded on these ideals, it seems to me that the only country which is "free" from the "christian" or "humanitarian" obligations to prevent and not encourage torture or non-consensual experimentation of humans, is China. Or maybe N. Korea. I never hear about this kind of thing in N. Korea really but I do with China. And if their regime or focus is not free will but to choose for people and to sacrifice others for the group, then perhaps it's not hypocritical to allow their kids to be used for psychic research and mind control. I don't know if the U.S. and Russia and the Eastern European states really want to promote a communist approach to torture of their own people in order to keep up with China or even the Middle East (which may not practice as much experimentation but still engage in control tactics and require involuntary servitude in certain areas).

As far as I know, I was supposed to privileged to be born in the U.S., and protected, and free. And so was my son. Canada asked me, "Is your son a U.S. citizen?" and I said yes. However, we were having to flee our own country because some corrupt groups within the U.S. were allowing us to be tortured and to suffer.

There are always going to be great patriots in every country, who will be willing to lay down their lives for a lot of people and for the children of others, at risk to themselves. But it should always be a choice.

And protection of criminals should never be allowed as it's been allowed with my son and I.

I saw a magazine laid out in a church one day which described how human rights issues were not being addressed by the Obama administration. It described human rights issues in China specifically, and how people were really suffering there, but also described how others were no longer making visits to inspect nations of humanitarian crimes or talk with prisoners.

Sort of like torture, civil or human rights, all went on the backburner in favor of trade negotiations.

I want to know why no one in the Obama administration is stepping in to address torture of its own U.S. citizens. Me and my son for instance. Mabye someone finally tried to investigate and figure out where some of this is coming from, but while I do NOT know the dynamics, I DO know that there are people in high positions who are really afraid.

Not of Obama, and I still hope he will at least work in my favor and on behalf of my son.

But why is there this pervasive fear, among some in the FBI, among some in the Mormon church, and attorneys who even work for the U.S., a kind of fear that prevents them from even getting involved in my case? I have not just seen obstruction in the FBI offices. I've seen glimpses of what appeared to be fear.

So who is the DEVIL that is doing this to me and my son, who is so worthy of this fear?

Why don't those who know what major, strong, rich and powerful group is behind this, why don't they decide to collectively push against this fear and resist this devil?

If Egypt, Tunisia, and all of these other countries can have their uprisings and resistance, so can we. For the better.

I think about the photo of me wearing a crown with 666 on it when I was turning 6. It is very cute and my friend Shirina cracked up laughing hysterically, it bubbled out of her when she saw it. I was sitting back on my heels in this very pretty dress, with these plump girlish elbows and delicate fingers, holding one of my presents. My hair was curled up in big curls and I have this delicate look on my face and then there is this paper crown on my head, cut out just for me and which had the number 6 (for my birthday) written all around it. It is just the angle that's funny and I swear, that it was not a mistake. Knowing my Dad's sense of humor, he thought it was funny. I would even bet he had a grin on his face when he took the photo.

I always thought it was funny too.

But now I am 36 years old and I feel that I have almost been fighting against the anti-Christ-- Because "The Beast" is definitely NOT me.

I want the U.S. to be a better and safer place. And possibly someone is trying to undermine it by attacking me as I write about these things. I don't know. But I don't understand why then, so many people are displaying signs of "fear" as well.
I decided to look up Octavian's page.

I knew people wanted me to, did I not?

So I wasn't going to, to resist, but I decided oh waht does it hurt and why not. It doesn't mean anything or decide my fate.

So I did.

I'll tell you why I thought I somehow knew. The thing is, I didn't know why but I still knew. So there you go.

Hello (gypsy me?)

Octavian writes about masculine and feminine pairs in fragrances. And he writes about "Tabu" which ended up all over my hands last night.

I had the headache and it was after "med time" but I had bought some Ibuprofen and it was in my locker. I went downstairs and our medications are all in the office. They have Ibuprofen but I decided to use my own. So I asked them if I could get it out of my locker and check it in with them. I had to ask because we are not allowed to go to our lockers after bedtime. They said yes and I went in to find a newly broken bottle of perfume on the floor.

(Octavian will love this)

In fact, Octavian had crossed my mind for some reason, earlier in the day but I don't know why.

It was so newly broken there was still liquid all over.

I got my Ibuprofen and then collected the major parts of the glass into my hands and looked at the label on the perfume because it was so strong. It was Tabu by Dana. I thought it smelled like an older fragrance and at first whiff, I had thought it was possibly "Emeraude."

So I took the pieces to the office and threw them in the trash and let them know about smaller pieces that were still there. Someone had left a penny behind and I just left it there. It had the date 2008 on it.

I then took my Advil and washed my hands at the nearest sink.

I knew it was supposed to be some big deal for someone, but I just did the practical thing and picked up pieces so no one was hurt.

Anyway, Octavian writes in his perfume column today that Tabu and Old Spice are a good pair.

He also writes you are what you wear, but umm...I only wore Tabu for a few minutes.

Anyway, I don't have a regular perfume right now. I used to have a lot, and varied what I wore with my mood, but I have had to travel light and had almost everything stolen from me. I don't even know what some of the newer fragrances smell like. I have a good nose for things, but I have no idea what I'd have in my collection these days.

Anyway. See? I knew someone wanted me to look up Octavian's page. It's the 1000fragrances blogspot.

There is a photo below this post with 2 women, in the afghanistan rose post, and the blond looks so much like my Granny when she was younger. I guess these women are Bulgarian. I swear, the blond looks like Granny in her youth. I almost think my grandmother was even more beautiful--she was stunning. But the way of the smile and everything looks like Granny.
In the past I've worn:

Estee Lauder,
natural essence oils,
plain vanilla extract (for cooking but as a perfume),
various rose and gardenia fragrances,

(someone keeps erasing what I write here, and they've done it twice now and I don't know why)

Annik Goutal,
Victoria's Secret (and Bath & Body works).

I usually had several perfumes to choose from and varied what I wore with my mood. I didn't feel "dressed" without perfume on.

That was before people started stealing everything from me.
I think whoever is interfering with my laptop right now is not a spiritual person because I keep trying to listen to christian or worship music and it's being blocked. If they're religious, they're not very sincere or humane. Still having the sharp pains to parts of my head too. I think this is a big problem. These people are the modern Nazis. They tortured my son too. And anyone claiming it's work of psychics is wrong. yes, a mean psychic can do things, but someone can also attempt to elevate their power by using technology and then claiming it's something else (psychic work or my mental illness or any number of things).

Now it's stopped.

Believe me, it's very specific. I can tell.

I was very glad to have a decent night's rest last night, that's for sure.

The song I keep trying to play is "Thy Word" by Maranatha Singers (posted by vibrantray74). I like it but probably I should not lump in common computer problems with the other complaints which are more important. It's not that big of deal, in perspective.

I keep looking at the photo of the woman who looks like my grandmother. I might go to something else though and then leave. I'm not staying here all day.

I looked up "Paraclete" on wiki.

Sort of interesting take on it today. It's all about legal things. It is in reference to the Holy Spirit but the passages are about lawyers, court and cases, and it includes Satan, refered to as "The Accuser". In THIS context, it makes me think about those in Washington state, who made false accusations against me as a mother, appear to be symbolicly connected to Satan. I've always wondered who "Satan" is and in this context, I would think it has something to do with those who are "accusers" but most especially, false witnesses and accusers against the innocent or those with integrity. I haven't really thought of that before. About what sort of context the word Satan takes and then what kind of attributes his followers might have. I guess they would be the defamers who accuse me of petty crimes and mental illness. Who also defamed and accused me of negligence of my son. Those who would be followers of "Satan", even if they claim to be religious, would be those whose actions and words prove them to be accusers.

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