Thursday, January 27, 2011

viv westwood & torture (& my intellectual property theft)

nI asked God about Vivienne Westwood after reading her article in the Homeless newsletter today. I then opened up to:

"...Men who never change their ways do not fear God." It goes on to say that smooth words are like drawn swords.

I guess I don't get her.

On one hand, as a "homeless" person I would think she is trying to be supportive but on the other hand, some of her actions feel like mockery in some way. It's hard to know if she's wacky and zany and means no harm, or if some of her deeds are intented to be the backhanded insults they come across as being.

Of course the first thing I want to do is move to London and go to all their "free museums" as a homeless person and watch the royals sporting homeless person fashion attire at Prince William's wedding.

Is she one of Charles' consorts?

And how much of the proceeds for her homeless person fashion are going to the homeless?

And then better yet, for anyone who writes in to be supportive, how many formerly homeless people are you EMPLOYING or getting OUT OF THE WAY of?

Maybe if you supported a "Lay OFF" movement, or encouraged others not to obstruct justice in the first place, the rate of "homelessness" would go down.

If she's zany and harmless and just pure innocence and means no absentminded harm, then she might be a joy.

I just don't know.

It may be that she is one of the purest butterflies out there, and just means good and is fluttering with ideas. Or, she may have ideas about how to sound supportive while being degrading at the same time.

I don't like being made fun of, or belittled, by women who might want to diminish my value in others' eyes, with charades on bicycles in scarves, or the mew-mew-miao-miao self-playing piano or whatever it was. As if I am not getting the small inside joke.

If you want me to pop out of Kate Middleton's cake, on the other hand, that can always be arranged. Don't be afraid of the popping sound. It's not like balloons going down or anything.

Guess who I bought my paper from? "Charlie." It's the second Charlie I bought my paper from. First month: happened to be Charlie. Second month, I have no idea. This month: Charlie.

Yeah, some guy named "Charlie" who said he'd been "bitten by a monkey at Vanderbilt". Right after I came out of the Tennessee Museum, like, as Westwood thinks, any good homeless person should do. While we side as muses for the fashion designers and get paid in scorn.

Um, and tortured with no seeming assistance from that camp.

This guy sat in a wheelchair and wore a Vanderbilt tag. He said he "used to work at Vanderbilt" but became homeless when he was in some experiment and got bitten by a monkey. That's what he said. I just paid for the paper and was nice.

If I am adored, I would probably be "at" one of the garden parties, not symbolically represented or mocked there.

I will never get over miao miao miao miao after I am living with a bunch of fucking cats, and being tortured literally. And then THIS news is being relayed to the UK. I had completely lost my voice because of people attacking me, and live in the slums, because of people attacking me, and living with some kind of sponsor of Middleton Mess and then I find out I am a laughingstock all the way to the United Kingdom. Why? unless catty women were deliberately wanting to degrade me. In fact, I had not blogged about this to anyone or told anyone, but right before they had this miao miao thing presented, I had sort of jokingly on my own, sung a couple of songs to the tons of cats, with "miao miao" and I know it was no coincidence. I had way too many things being leaked to the UK when I was living in Wenatchee. From Steve May's house to Theo Keyes, to Tony. I mean, leaking things that no one over there should even care to know about. Including weird things happening online whenever I went to a UK site and having some UK guy who was in the military or had been, saying things about my surroundings that he had no way of knowing about. That's when I was trying to get on streaming webcam so I could prove I wasn't crazy and keep track of my things being stolen. No one wanted me to be able to do that. And it was at Steve May's house where all these things were happening that suddenly, whatever good thing was supposed to happen, was "over". While my legs were swelling up to double size and my heart was about to give out from the torture. This is when I was stupid enough not to follow through and keep my curtains and blinds closed tight at all times. As if it mattered because it seems some in the UK were getting info on the inside of my room, not just what they could see from the outside.

Maybe she is innocent on her own. But not all of the people there are.

There is something going on with Princess Diana's case and something going on with some royal man. Over there, it can't be anything else.

And then I get frickin' shot up with Haldol over half of this stuff.

That's all I'll say about that. Or this. That is all I will say about this.

There are too many joint motives for crap that's held me down. It's not just something to blame on one matter or group, it's a combination at this point and yet the FBI needs to be involved and they are not, and it is probably their own kids that have given me poisoned cigarettes to begin with.

I never asked for the "staircase to heaven". I just expected my rights to be observed and followed and some in the U.S. have spread things to some in the UK to keep me blocked from doing anything and to try to shift the blame too. I don't know who the good people are who are trying to figure things out, but there are a lot of Jewish people involved in this and Catholic too. And I'm sorry, but that's what it keeps going back to. Though I know other internationals who have more exotic religions have also been involved in this.

When I left the YMCA to go to the museum, I had no pain. Then I got there and once I was there, after a little while the same jabbing feeling. I am not kidding. And THAT is U.S. And over here, at the YMCA I am right across from the American Legion building. Then, after about 10 minutes, it quit completely and I was left alone until I got back to the YMCA, and was sitting outside and someone started this up again. I had about 1-2 hours of not having any problems. And there is no reason I should have headache or migraine when I was able to determine awhile ago that someone was triggering them intentionally, to coincide with when THEY thought my period was. I started "having my period" at times that were not true, and this is when someone started triggering them to match.

This began with my involvement with Oregon. It started there. They didn't want to let it go so started things up in Washington. When it looked like I might get ahead in Washington D.C., they then, after a long time, started it up there. Christa and Karen are both connected to the FBI. Christa had connections to Dick Whittemore who had connections to Karen who has connections to NY FBI employees. And there are a LOT of FBI employees who have had serious conflicts of interest in anything regarding my life. This translates to additional connections between FBI and other law enforcement and then U.S. military.

For some reason, Asians too. Because in Seattle, there were a lot of Asians, with ganster tatoos following me around. Christa's boyfriend had ties to Japan and traveled there all the time. He knows Japanese. The Mt. Angel Abbey had ties with monks and zealots in Mexico, Phillipines, and other Asian countries. And Josh Gatov had ties to Thailand.

The other international stuff came later after I was interested in Princess Diana and was separate but certain groups served the same purpose or had similiar objectives of retaliation or covering something up.

I thought it was strange that I was sort of targeted while I was in the MTMHI, with one Asian young man interested in me. It seemed like a normal interest until, when I was being checked out with the "bad cock" pen, this Asian doctor took an interest in mocking me. While I was standing there waiting to be discharged and had a few times of the piercing pain. This is not natural, it's part of their latest arsenal of tools against me. No one believed about the heart problems I was having and then you saw photos of my legs. This has all been masked with use of medications concurrently, to try to explain away the problem. Then, I had someone block the stream of energy that was used in the dorm and what happened? it quit.

It quit because it's real.

It's real and true that my son and I were tortured and have been tortured by various means. It's true that people know it is happening. It's true that it quit when I was with Alvaro from Colombia as some part of a deal--it had to be. Which means people know what's going on. It's true that I've been medicated against my will. It's true that I have been poisoned with a cigarette that was likely tainted with arsenic. It's true that

And no matter what country or race someone is from that's had a problem with me, they have usually had the same religion in common or a political motive.

331 AFR Tn plates...noting)

I also had it happen on Wednesday, at the U.S. post office, one time while I was there. Only once but because it didn't happen while I was walking at all, and then not while I stood there, but then occured one time, was odd. At that moment, a maintenance man decided to come out of the back room in the Post Office with wires and electrical stuff. Like I might want to think it was him. But it wasn't.

The piercing pain in my head....bascially quit about 30 minutes and right now it's 12 after 3.

So it quit again after I started blogging about this.

It's not a normal tension headache pain and it's not migraine. AND, I know that I probably never had "natural" migraines since I figured out they were being deliberately targeted or triggered to occur at times I was thought to be having my period, so I could say and think "It's just my horomones".

It wasn't "horomones". I figured it out by lying about when I was having my period because I had an idea after awhile, that something "wasn't right".

And I'm not going to break my fast against swearing either, just because I'm upset.

I think it starts to sound overwhelming when I start naming all these different ethnic groups, as if it's impossible. But these are people who are with the same groups.

There are a lot of Eastern Indians who are christian or other religions and have no desire to harm me or my son. But that doesn't mean some who are of Eastern Indian descent haven't been used by others to make it all look like it's coming from them or someone else. Some of them are politically motivated though, and will do whatever. Just like when I say "jewish" or "black" or start excluding certain groups...this is when my enemies have then tried to bring in people who are of that same race or group I excluded as responsible, to try to shift blame.

When I stayed with Willie in Maryland, I had no problems. So what does that mean? I don't have mental issues if I'm staying with a black man who is in the Navy?

Before anyone tries to accuse me of bigotry or being nuts, I can list off a whole bunch of people and times where NOTHING bad was happening and I highly doubt that it was because I was just "instantly cured" from a mental illness. That's b.s.

Willie, the black man Willie, wasn't involved with me romantically and he also didn't medicate my food. I was buying my own food. I never had one bad thing happen. Same thing with a number of other individuals. So it's dirty people in certain groups who have been getting away with this and trying to make it spiral out to include as many groups or ethnicities as possible so it just looks impossible to be true.

Well it is true and there are people who know that it is true (that I'm not delusional and I'm not lying about this).

It has affected my SON, and so when I have all these things going on, while it may be difficult for some to believe or understand, there is a lot of making light of this situation where nothing should be made light of.

Which is why, with the magnitude of the real problem, it seems very superficial to read articles about how homeless people have cool clothes and "if I were homeless, I would go to all the free museums and The Mayflower Hotel too".

Here's one for Vivienne: if you want real homeless, match a red knit hat with elastic waist jeans stretched over the belly up to the ribcage and paired with a Winnie the Pooh shirt on someone who is 60 years old.

I know one thing, as soon as I can I am fasting food again, because that was what was working. I know for a fact this was working and I had some desperate psychics wondering what they were doing wrong.

The only problem was that I lost too much weight. Otherwise, I was never doing better. Never. Some of these people are the most hypocritical religious there are, because they didn't bother harming me when they knew I was fasting like this and when I was in church all the time. So half of these people are just hypocrites.

Then, the other problem is that I live in TN in Nashville, and was this a smart move after I claimed my songs had been stolen? at least a few of them?

There are probably some music executives who were happy to have me in the hole too. I sometimes wonder who might pop out of the woodwork and be supporting things against me, who is tied to music here. It would be interesting.

154 WIN TN

I do have people who believe me on that count and this may even be partially why someone was trying to obstruct my creative flow and ruin my voice. Because the ruining of my voice happened. And with medications and torture, they knew they were ruining my creative output and I have people who believed me in D.C. Also, in Oregon and Washington some would believe me.

Which is part of the reason some were pissed and trying to keep me from putting my voice online for others to hear. Or my song ideas.

I had all of my original song ideas stolen by White Horse studios. They asked me to give them my ideas and I did, after I had worked in their studios and done back up on a CD project. I had a huge collection of raw material that was taken and no one got back to me about any of it. That was in Portland, Oregon.

I also had an entire song taken and sung by Jewel and there is just no way around it. It was my song start-to-finish "Do you love me, like I love you? or am I standing still."

That was NOT her song and she did NOT write it.

She may have written some poetry that sounded close, but the entire song, from the lyrics to the melody, start to finish, was a bold rip off of my song that I recorded and sang at Cafe Lena in Portland, Oregon, with some man writing down notes, keeping an audio recorder going and then I had a TON of people swarming me after I sang it. A lot of teenage girls because I had been doing the open mic thing for awhile and people knew I would be there. It was one of the best responses I ever had to a song. Ever. And that man in the background, watching the response and everything.

By the way, the man I did the gigs with? he was a Protestant Christian and he played guitar for me at the open mics. I went to HIS house where his Dad had recording studio equipment and we made a demo of my music and then they refused to even give me a copy. He went to MY church, played for me, and I even sang with his Dad playing guitar on Gary Hemingways' worship team. But after I made the demo, after we'd had good response, I was refused a copy.

And I kid you NOT. He was supposed to be on MY side.

So maybe if there are some Protestants out there saying weird things, maybe they have their own agendas.

Music is money. Sadly, this is what I learned. It's not why I've been tortured, but maybe it's what has helped the slag in support of me.

The only time I got a copy of work I did, was when I sang back up for Gary Hemingway's CD and they gave me a CD. Which was later stolen from my apartment.

The White Horse studio guy who took my material was a Tim Ellis. ? I'm trying to remember his last name. He was short and always wore a beanie on his head for his performances.

I did backup vocals for Hemingway, and then Tim was impressed and I did some gigs downtown and went to see him play the guitar and bongoes in Portland. Then I took lessons from him at the studio. So at one of our sessions he asked me about my song ideas, and I played a few for him, which he liked. He said I had a style sort of like The Corrs. And then said I had a very different play on mix and measure, how I varied the tempo (almost counterpoint but not quite).

I told him I just had some tapes and lyrics so he asked me to put it all together and leave it for him at White Horse Studios. I put everything into a huge manilla envelope, larger than regular business size, and it had some tapes with ideas and lyrics.

After this, no one returned my calls.

I had played the same ideas, somem of them, in front of him, so I know he liked what I did and was impressed. But all of that material was gone. I called and he never returned my calls by office, cell, or email if I emailed (can't remember if I did). All of my ideas and materials, at least in that small set, were gone forever. I gave him my original stuff. He even asked me if I'd kept copies for myself and I told him no. Which is why I wanted them back so badly. I trusted him with my music. Which, now I know is stupid, but I was naive then. I had just worked with him on a music project and why would I ever think he'd steal from me and then disappear?

After this happened, is when I still generated ideas and then started doing an open mic at Cafe Lena. I did it once or 3 times a month. With all original material that I was generating every week. After awhile, people started asking me specifically when I was going to be playing. So I was getting a small following.

I got upset with Erik, his name was Erik _______(have to remember)...because he wasn't devoted to practicing. He was naturally talented so he thought he could just show up and play a brand new song with little time to practice. I played guitar too, but just a little, and then he played with me. We got together at my apartment and his place to practice. I was the perfectionist. When it came to music, I was not a slob. I wanted it to be perfect. It wasn't the way I am with writing where I write on the fly and include all my errors. I was a perfectionist. As a girl, I practiced singing over and over again, for at least 2 hours a day. Or, as a teen, 2-3 hours. I went over the same songs until my voice matched as I wanted it to. I trained my voice to a variety of singers who had a range.

Then, in my 20s I started experimenting with ideas and "mixing". I got tapes and two different cheap voice recorders and I would sing one harmony. Then I played this melody while singing track 2 live and recording it onto a different tape. So I could do melody and harmony. And then I did even more with it, mixing it up more. I even experimented with echo or effect and found this really weird cool place to get good sound, by singing inside of a part glass, part wood spice cabinet. It had the strangest contained sound but eliminated clatter.

I sat in the kitchen with my guitar, facing the spice cabinet that was mobile (I could move it around) and I found that if I put the tape recorder inside of the cabinet, to the back, and left one of the doors open and then angled my voice at a certain direction or angle, this and the guitar had the best sound.

I sang against glass, against windows, against mirrors, into cabinets, into regular kitchen cabinets and then free standing cabinets, and tried out all the different sounds.

I finally made a tape with my own version of the Eagles "Hotel California". This was one that wasn't original but I did something different with it that no one had done. I totally changed it. Up to that point, in 2002-2003 or whenever it was I was going to college at Portland State University, people had done covers, but all fast, with the faster tempo. The Eagles hadn't recorded it differently either.

But then I did. I switched it up and sang it very slow with a haunting, eerie quality to it. And then I laid a harmony track over it and blended it. It was almost spooky in effect, and very dreamy, slow, and sad, not up-tempo.

I gave it to Beau Blixseth.

Shortly thereafter, The Eagles, I kid you not, recorded a "new" version of their own song, done in the style I had done it (but not nearly as good).

I had 3 songs on that tape. All were just covers. The only one that was really cool was the Hotel California one.

Yeah, it was the Eagles song to begin with. But no one had interpreted or recorded it the way I did, until after I gave Blixseth my tape. He said, "How did you do this?!" and was shocked. I said, "I got a couple of tape recorders and then I sang into a cabinet to contain but enlarge the sound".

He never got back to me. We had spent a day in a music store, jointly playing guitar and then had a glass of wine. He was a total gentleman and I had been impressed with his etiquette. He wanted me to be some kind of paramour and I declined. I actually liked him and found we had common interests and shared the same sense of humor. I really did like him, but when he said he had a girlfriend, I said he had to break up with her first if he wanted to have anything to do with me. He wouldn't. Then later he did. He got back to me and said he had broken up with his girlfriend. I said, so you fully broke up? and he said, "Well no, we're separated." I said, "What is that supposed to mean?" He said, "We agreed to separate over Spring Break." I said, "No, I can't do that. You haven't really broken up." So I chose not to be involved with him romantically past this conversation. I told him if they broke up, I would date him.

So then later he transfered colleges and was going to law school in California and told me he was leaving and I was still at Portland State University. I later heard this Eagle's song "newly released" and thought, "It's my mix" (or my version).

It was so much like my own version that I looked up Blixseth family stuff for the first time. I saw that his father had a connection to the Eagles and the music industry. I realized that somehow, my tape had been shared with someone and my idea was taken.

I have no hard feelings against Beau or his family. I think I saw his Dad one day at the Dairy Queen in Wenatchee of all places, or someone who looked just like him. Whatever Beau may have done, I forgive him.

(And by the way, I have many examples for proving I have never been after a man for his money. Ever. Even after I was forced by others to live what I've lived through, my whole history shows that I did not select or try to go after men because of money. Blixseth, Tanzer, others I have and haven't named. With Tanzer, he wanted to date me and I told him to wait. I told him I was too focused on keeping up with my lawsuits and college and that I would be interested in dating more, and really did like him, but was too busy and didn't want to lose my focus. Then I told him I was moving to Wenatchee and he said why in the world and when he tried to call me after I'd moved, I didn't return his calls. I was busy. I have never been a gold-digger even though I've been put down so far I've had to basically beg for my bread.) I never returned his call, from that point in 2004 or 2005. I also wondered if he was connected to Bujanda or someone so just didn't call back. My whole point was to be independent financially and then allow room for my social life. I have turned down rich men in the meantime, to try to get ahead in the smallest way, on MY OWN. For this, I have been ground into the dirt and prevented from having the smallest liberties and rights, by jealous women, fearful upper class or more like upwardly mobile class, and those who have done wrong in defaming me).

But I had a LOT of my music going out to the public (considering) by people who were already established and then I was being persecuted and torn down by different people in the meantime.

I would say the only 2 songs I could identify 100% as amost 100% mine, would be the one Jewel song, and then the Eagle's rendition. I think once I heard a christian song that was just like one I had done but it was slightly more tenuous, like 1/2 mine and 1/2 original mixed in with it. But I know without a shadow of a doubt, that Jewel did NOT write, imagine, or come up with the melody OR the lyrics for the one song. AND she still screwed it up because it was still better the way that I did it. It sounded too canned the way she recorded it, but it was my song. She changed only a couple of bars. Literally.

Then, it was odd, because it was like my house was bugged or tapped because I then heard a couple of clips from songs that matched even NEWER ideas that I had, and I was not sharing them in public with anyone. I didn't go to open mics anymore. There were a few times I heard something that sounded like what I had been recording or practicing on my own, but only one which I still recall because I thought it was so strange and it was ONLY the very first part of a song.

It was a UK artist. A pop or hip hop woman and her song starts out with a bridge of "As I lay me down to sleep..." but that's not the name of her song. I will find it. I'm trying to find it right now. But it came later and totally shocked me once again because it was unique enough for me to sense it was really taken from me and not a coincidence.

These are the only solid examples I could list, but I haven't been keeping up with all the music and genres either.

I had a song I was working on where I used the bridge or opening and then went to my original lyrics. I used this much of the rhyme: "As I lay me down to sleep/pray the Lord my soul to keep/if I should die before I wake/pray the Lord my soul to take"...and then went right into my song. I still remember the exact melody that I used and I have this weird feeling that it's "out there somewhere".

I sort of think the singer is Leona Lewis but I have to check some things. Google is not making it easy for me right now.

I will have to find it later. I am sure it was a UK singer because when I first heard it I thought how odd and then I was shocked to discover it wasn't even a U.S. person but someone in the UK and I wondered how in the world they had gotten my idea.

I will have to check some things out. But I am not making it up and I am not delusional.

On this one too, there are a lot of songs that include pieces of that saying, but I remember the one song because it was done the same way I did it, and wasn't just a "piece" but a whole part and same section or something, and then I remember the song came out just months to 1 year after I had the idea and had recorded it.

It may have been on my tapes that were taken when I had to leave my car in Canada.

I had a whole shoebox full of tapes with song and other ideas and recordings and Canadians were always very mum about who got my car and belongings and then the entire frickin' towing company changed ownership and they told me all records had been permanently erased.

180 UFN or UFI TN (eastern indian)
I want my son back.

And I want those who then convinced others to torture me and my son before I even left to Canada to cease and desist.

I want my good name back.

Because even if I have screwed up and been driven to extreme reactions, torture will do that to you.

I want all excuses for all invasions of privacy and torture to quit.

And I want the FBI to investigate the grounds on which my son was taken from me and the collusion that occured between some U.S. and some Canadian officials.


Well thanks Viv, for inspiring me. Maybe next time you have your fashion show with homeless, you can start out with the idea of a woman who has nothing wrong with her and who has a lot of talent, who is surrounded by others who tear everything from her and whip her mercilessly and then have a child being born who is bloodied to protect the greed of others. Have someone using technology to literally burn and fry the woman and child and then ruining her voice while stealing her ideas and then, on the side you have the guy with the stupid meow-meow instrument playing to the amusement of others as the woman is sitting surrounded by trash and stray cats, with a droopy eye, and her child being thrown in the water by gangsters to have others dive in to rescue him. Maybe you could put money on hooks too.

That might be a real show.

Someone, by the way, quit torturing me while I was writing about the music stuff, I guess maybe afraid about how much I would write about or how much I knew. Then they started it all up when I finished and they felt relieved that they were not going to be in trouble. Right about the time I wrote about the FBI, which is apparently part of the problem.

Last time I had the burning sensation to my heart, I tried something and found out it worked, at least that time...I put my arms up in front of my chest, inbetween my heart and the computer screen and it quit.

However, in the dorm, I didn't have a computer with me so it was done another way and a few times in chapel it's happened and it has to be something else.

And it's not me being crazy.

I have a lot of people who have a LOT of money who do NOT want people to believe what I say.

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