I'm Stayin' Alive (given overdose at MTMHI): Cease & Desist

I thought about not blogging the rest of what happened.

And then my heart started beating a million beats a minute and was having palpitations. I looked at my med instructions and it states one needs to see the doctor immediately if this happens.

I'm not going to the fucking hospital and I will tell you why.

It is no fucking joke and I was WRONG to make any jokes at all about what is going on.

The doctors at the mental health place lied about how much medicine they were giving me. I saw with my own eyes how much medicine they were giving me and it did NOT match what they were writing down on my chart.

I am NOT kidding, I am NOT delusional, and I am no longer making light jokes about Prince William.

When I looked at these instructions, it said people are known to die from heart problems with this medicine. Heart attack, heart arythmia, and heart palpitations.

I am not kidding about how much they were giving me either.

I thought about going to the Chinese embassy because it's the only embassy around in this state, or Japanese or something, but one of the doctors medicating me was Muslim and named Mohammed and he was one who was overdosing me.

I need a Protestant Christian doctor and no one else, and someone who was confirmed Protestant and has no agenda, from birth. With Protestant parents.

First they overdosed me, per Mohammed Jahad's orders, on Haldol the first night, to the point that I passed out. Mohammed Jahad is Eastern Indian, I think from Mumbai but I'm not sure, but his name is Mohammed so I'm guessing he's Muslim.

Then the next time I was overdosed, I know for sure how many pills I was given, and it was NOT what they fucking wrote down.

MY SON NEEDS PROTECTION.

DO YOU HEAR ME? WATCH OUT FOR HIM.

On one day, and I will try to remember which day it was exactly...the night before they gave me a dose of liquid Haldol. Then the very next morning they gave me 5 orange pills of Seroquel. I wondered why I was being given so many of them because the night before they only gave me 2. They increased the dose from 2 for the whole day to FIVE of them in the morning along with one white pill which they said was Conjenten.

I went into almost a convulsive state.

When I got my papers at discharge (still alive, remarkably), the doctors had written down, or relayed to me, and I looked at their papers and saw this and then wrote it down, they wrote down I had been given 2 or 4 mg. of Seroquel. I can't remember which, but it didn't match.

I am also going to comment on some people at the gym. After I started singing "I'm Stayin' Alive" and acting like it was just something stuck in my head, a few people at the YMCA around me got nervous.

One man who just went upstairs is some kind of mix of hispanic and asian or native american, wearing a blue and white and yellow striped shirt, and made expressions that are exactly like my son's, and stopped on the stairs to do it and stare at me.

Another guy, one of the workers here, who is Middle Eastern, said to no one, out of the blue, "Still taking a nap?"

There was no one who was taking a nap.

Okay, and just now, this Asian woman passed by the window and looked at me and mouthed to me: "Jew".

I don't know why or what that's supposed to mean. She thinks I'm a Jew or this is connected to someone who is a Jew?

I do NOT think "everyone" is out to get me.

But let's be frank and fucking honest.

My son and I are not protected and we have already suffered and now someone has been upping the ante.

I know for a fact that I have been poisoned with arsenic or rat poison TWICE, AT LEAST, and no one in the U.S. has done the fucking diagnostics or even bothered to examine my nails and do the proper forensics.

If there was an Embassy for some other Protestant country in this state, that's where I would go.

I am not taking any fucking anti-psychotic meds that I do not need, that are dangerous. If I EVER find out anyone is harming my son, and who it is, YOU WILL BE EVENTUALLY APPREHENDED and charged with crimes. I promise you.

Let me tell you what happened with my overdose at MTMHI--

I am going to describe exactly what happened.

First of all, they all took my medical history. I told them I had a history of seizure or something almost like seizure or epilepsy. I never left this out. I repeated the same thing to every doctor and nurse there that took my history. Not only that, it was a prepared question that was typed into the form already: any history of seizures? So there was no avoiding this question.

Seroquel is not supposed to be given to people with a history of seizures or epilepsy, as I found out later.

Then, on top of giving me a medication that is contraindicated by any seizure history, mild or not, it is also contraindicated for those with any heart problems. And I have described palpitations in the past, throughout my blog. Wouldn't this potentially be a "heart condition"?

THEN, on top of this, I was given more than double the amount. And other meds on top of that. On the day when a "team" of medical professionals made their rounds. Before that, the staff was sparse and scarce.

If anyone from MTMHI lays a hand on me again, you will be sued for everything you have.

Oh shoot. I meant HALDOL for the overdose, but I was given Seroquel too, which is contraindictated. It was the Haldol I was overdosed on that caused the convulsions and muscle contractions. I was talking about HALDOL but absentmindedly wrote Seroquel. I was given 5 orange pills of Haldol, along with other crap. The Seroquel were in tiny pink pills and then they increased to a larger pill for night. All within a couple of days. All of which are contraindicated for my medical history.

So like I said, you lay a fucking HAND on me and you and MTMHI and The State of Tennessee and State of Washington and maybe the fucking FBI will all be sued together.

So fucking leave me and my son the fuck alone unless you are bringing in some normal people to take care of normal business.

This is your Cease & Desist.

I took the whole handful of pills, and tried to hide them inside my cheek. The nurse was angry before I ever did this. I almost felt like they knew I hadn't taken the other meds, because they gave indication they KNEW that I had "cheeked" and not taken the other doses.

KNOWING this, they doubled my meds, knowing I would be going from nothing to a massive overdose.

Which, actually, had the potential to kill me.

By the way, I was only discharged after I promised to say I did not believe anyone in my life had ever tried to poison me.

These doctors at MTMHI knew I had cheeked the other meds and that I would be overdosing in a major way.

The nurse angrily told me to pull out my lip and said, "See! You cheeked them again."

It's always good to remember just who it was that was sending me to MTMHI.

Yeah. Oh FUCK.

So she told me to swallow all of them and watched me. Within 15 minutes my tongue was involuntarily curling up and I was incapable of speech.

With my history of seizure, it should have been even worse.

NOW FUCKING LISTEN TO ME.

FUCKING KEEP AN EYE ON OLIVER GARRETT.

YOU MOTHER FUCKERS.

I am stepping away for a couple of minutes to get something else to eat and then I am writing out the rest of this Assasination-Attempts-That-Didn't-Work melodrama.

(By the way, as for tonight and this moment--my heart has calmed down a little bit. I rested, got out of the sauna after a measly 20 minutes, prayed, sang songs about strength and took deep breaths and willed the fight to fight on, and then ate food and drank Vitamin water with Vitamin C bc for some reason I was thinking Vitamin C might be helpful. My heart was racing uncontrollably and doing some very weird things and I got out of the sauna right away and into the shower and started praying and deep breathing and then sang "I Will Not Move" and "No Weapon Formed Against Me Will Prosper" and even though my heart didn't totally calm, it was a little bit better. I prayed God would help my heart without my resorting to taking more and without any intervention. It is better now.)

Back to the effects of what happened at MTMHI, I had uncontrollable, very severe and harsh muscle contractions where it felt like an absolute lockjaw. I would go in and out of it too. I would talk normal for 1 or 2 minutes and then all of sudden, severe muscle contractions and tongue curling with jaw clenching and grinding down and I was powerless.

Incredibly, some of the techs and medical people there were telling ME I must be making it up. I said, sounding like I had Down's Syndrome, with my tongue, "thoth, I thot thoing thisssth on purpothse." Then they were saying "This has never happened before."

Yeah, and if I had died, they would have said the same thing.

"Oh my GOSH. This has NEVER happened before!"
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I just looked up Vitamin C and "heart problems" and I found it was a good move. Vitamin C not only protects against heart and cardiovascular problems, it helps with high cholesterol. Thank you God for random wisdom here and there and thank you that I didn't die.

I just ate, not really knowing how essential C is, 2 powerbars with 60% rsda Vitamin C each, and 2 Vitamin Waters with 120% Vitamin C each. I might try to find a more megadose of C tonight.

I don't know if I should go back to that shelter or not tonight. There is a lot going on, but I need to sleep. They canNOT force me to take these meds though.
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I had the convulsions and contractions for hours. First they gave me 2 pills of Benydryl and it didn't do a thing. Mabye just barely, barely. Then they ordered a shot. It still didn't work. I went before a team, with lesser symptoms, but still struggling. Finally, the Nigerian doctor or someone, I can't remember who, said to give me another shot of antidote and I think they gave me Ativan but I don't know for sure and then I fell asleep. The Nigerian doctor also was kind enough to tell me it was the FBI that gave THEM my blog, along with defamatory comments about me I'm sure. Why else would the FBI be interested in giving these doctors part of my blog?

Maybe someone in the FBI wants to be a part of killing me.

I have to figure out what I'm doing tonight.

I'm not done with what happened, but I got more of it out and I'll write more tomorrow.