Saturday, January 29, 2011

He's The Reason

I was walking to the Y this morning and the song that came to mind was one we sang in choir at New Song church a long time ago. It's sort of a Christmas song.

It came to my mind while I was thinking about Hamas because of something the pastor said last night.

So I played it first this morning and will post the link and then explain what the pastor said.

The pastor or speaker just said that a week ago one of the main leaders from Hamas said "Jesus is lord" and that he wished more Muslims would remember this.

I sort of thought about this, because I know a lot of Christians don't know that Muslims DO believe in Jesus, and they are even allowed to marry Christians because Christians believe in God, Jesus, and have some things in common. They believe in Jesus as more of one of the major prophets and holy.

It is a big deal to say Jesus is Lord though.

I also thought about this because when I was at the MTMHI when the one doctor had me injected with Haldol and I fell down to my knees and prayed for protection, I prayed to Jesus and that people would remember this and see what Jesus did and acknowledge that Jesus was Lord. I had no idea, at that time, that the doctor who had ordered my first injection was named Mohammed.

I just thought it was so strange to hear that about that time or a little after, Hamas had made this remark about Jesus, at least that's what our speaker said.

I'll have to look up Hamas today.

What is also strange is that the other night I had Osama bin ladin come to mind and thought he must be a holy man in some regard, or prayerful, or why would the CIA and others feel too guilty to really do anything? other than track him. I wondered. I'm not making judgment calls. I read somewhere that Osama actually told the U.S. he did not kill or authorize the killings for the 9-11 thing and that Muslims were against harming innocent people. I read these quotes not very long ago. With all the other things I've heard, I had never heard this until I read it myself. So the U.s. didn't, at least initially, go after him directly because he had formerly met with reporters and then U.S. people and said he did not do this.
Anyway, I wore a pale pink today because I'm still not wearing make up (or very much) and figured it would make my skin look better.
I had to move to a different spot bc I had the overheating/tightening of my chest happening and then went to the mirror and for the first time in 2 days, my eye was droopy. The only thing I've had today that wasn't from a bottle is hot water from the YMCA for my tea (have my own Earl Grey). So I moved from where I was.

For the last 2 days, I have not had the droopy eye. Even though I was being tortured and felt effects of various things.

I don't know why I have it now, after not having this for a couple of days. I didn't take any medications or anything. My eye wasn't droopy this morning when I first got up. I was offered a free wrap yesterday and I declined. All of my food has been canned or bottled and I have taken no free food, even from the cafe.

So I think it is from the technology stuff after I got to the Y, with the heart tightening. The only other things I had were Toblerone chocolate, vanilla chai tea from bolthouse farms, dano-in-nino strawberry yoghurt, and then the tea and the only thing that wasn't already packaged or bottled was the Y hot water from their hot water dispenser and I used none of their creamer or sugar.
Now I'm listening to "No Weapon" by Fred Hammond and I have found a new link. It's posted by jwalkerjessie.
Anyway, I moved and was having no problems and now I am again. The head jabbing thing.

Someone is seriously not giving up on messing me with me, and let me tell you, you are not being very smart.

I at least had about zero problems last night. I was able to have a night's rest with nothing going on until one point at night when I woke up but almost all the women in the room did at the same time. Around 10 or 10:30.

Now the head jabbing quit so that's good.
At any rate, 2 pennies fell out of my locker this morning. I have to look something up and then I'll see what I think. The first one was 1989 and then this second one fell and I looked at it and it was 1979.
Oh, also, I'm not connecting the one Dr. to Hamas, by the way. If anyone heard what I prayed, it was this white doctor and I told him to note it in my chart or tell others or whatever because something was going to happen and I wanted God to have the credit and someone to remember Jesus was a name i used in my prayers. So anyone could have heard about it. For some reason, when I was at MTMHI, I had no idea who it was, and I wouldn't say anyway, even if I did know, but I kept feeling like someone had a connection somehow to a group in the middle east that was more radical or activist in some way. But even if I knew who, I wouldn't say bc only God knows the business of others and I'm not a spy or intel.

The only thing I know that I can testify about honestly, is the treatment of me and my son by some state workers and others who I know, firsthand, lied about me. I know, because I am able to give testimony about myself and what I've said or done and whether or not someone has lied to defame me and keep my son from me.
I like this song "We Fall Down, But We Get Up" by Donnie McClurkin. This is the first time I've heard this one and it's pretty good. It's posted by "musicjams18".
I kept trying to play "Revelation Song" by philip, craigs & dean yesterday and nothing would play. But now it's playing.

I also noticed again last night during chapel, someone or people praying and I could "feel" it. It was partway through the role call and then I noticed it again very strong, at different parts throughout the service. I prayed whatever good prayers were sent my way would go back to the same people and bless them and I prayed for my family and my son. For my son to feel the same thing.
Last night I had 2 scripture verses stand out to me. Both were from Luke and I'll have to find the exact passages later but one was about the banquet and how many were invited but some said they had other things to do so the master said to go out and call in all of the disabled, homeless, poor, and others to enter into the house. and then there was still room and they went out into the streets and called in even more people.

I was just trying to find the references to the passages and I landed on Luke 12 in the meantime, which talks about how 5 sparrows are sold for 2 pennies and yet God knows every one of them. And how we are worth much more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7.

But let me find the other verses...One was Luke 12:24-34

About not worrying because look at the lilies of the field and how they are adorned and not even Solomon was arrayed as well so God will give us the things we need and have faith. About where your treasure is, there is your heart.

And the other verse was Luke (right after this I think): Luke 14:15-24, the parable of the great banquet.

I was starting to think about these things nd sort of meditate on it, and my hand resting on the Bible and then all of a sudden, I felt that prayer feeling, of other people praying or the holy spirit.
This was one time though, where I sort of prayed first about if I was going to get my son back and I landed on the parable of the great banquet. I'd sort of asked about those people involved and then got the description of excuses. Not sure how that makes any sense, so I just looked at verses that were speaking to me in that moment.
I grabbed a scripture from the basket at the Y today and it was Hebrews 2:1, about paying careful attention to what we've heard so that we do not drift away. I guess the only correlation to the sermon last night might be when the speaker said god gives a thump on the head to those he doesn't let go of, and others he allows to fall away.
I wonder about the parable of the excuses. If some have been invited to help me with my situation re. my son and declined for a variety of reasons. Even for common mundane reasons like "I have to do this" or "I have to go here" or who knows what. I wonder if they are then the ones who are rebuked in the end and don't even know what they are turning down. I thought about it for myself too, and how to apply this lesson to my own life, when I've done the same thing to God. One thing I thought about too, on the side, was how if I were having a royal wedding, I would probably invite some poor and homeless and people from the street if I had read this verse.

I thought about the parable of the lilies of the field and how God will take care of my most basic needs and then sort of laughed at the part about selling everything (which I once took a stab at and look at how it turned out!) but the treasure being in the heart.

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