Saving My and My Son's Life: Hope & Breakthrough (on technology)

Last night was a small break-through. I suffered the entire night, but some discovery was made.

It is absolutely technology.

And there was a block of it at one point.

I suffered all through chapel and then I was in bed and really suffering. My heart and chest were tight, the overheating, and this pressing dull headache.

Through chapel I kept saying to myself, "Your grace is sufficient for me."

I felt like Jesus on the cross. I had written my mother and told her I could not continue living life with this torture, and with some not believing me. I said "giving up" would be to live a lie and say this was mental illness.

But I was lying there and then this woman sat on me. She couldn't find her bunk. I didn't say anything but she sat and leaned over me. I was not thinking of technology at all, just suffering mutely, and then all of a sudden I realized, "Oh my gosh. It stopped." She had blocked whatever it was with her own body.

It was unintentional but first she was on one side of me and leaning over me and as long as she did this, it STOPPED.

And then she moved to the other side and did the same thing and again, it stopped. It was really noticeable on one side, the first side. And I am not sure that anyone could actually "pick up" or "feel" what I feel, because it takes awhile to"cook" and then feel these horrible effects.

But it was instant.

It is definitely technology and there is definitely hope now.

I felt like she was an angel. She didn't even know what she was doing, and yet maybe she has helped to save my life and my son's life.

I'm not kidding. It was not a small thing.

And I really mean save my life because it is no life to be tortured all the time and have your own son tortured. This is why people have been incredulous that I have NOT committed suicide or given up.

You have no idea, only God knows, how intense and severe our suffering has been.

Then, the heart thing, the tighening up effect, this quit and someone wasn't doing this as much. However, my lower back was really aching and I had this terrible headache. I got up and went to the bathroom and the minute I got out of bed, it QUIT instantly.

I was sitting in the bathroom stall thinking, "What the H--- is going on?!" because the pain quit instantanously and so did the headache.

Then I went back to bed, and it started again. I didn't suffer quite as much though. Someone quit doing one of the effects.

It lasted all night, except for the aching back. This part quit and it was just this odd headache. When I left this morning, the headache was gone. About 5 minutes after I got out of bed again.

I felt like it was a step in the right direction.

I just had the song "My Deliverer Is Coming" It's a Christmas song but I am not kidding. For the first time I felt like there might be help around the corner, for both me and my son.

I also had a couple of other things happen, with regard to Scripture and msgs, but I'll write about it in the next post.

I just looked up My Deliverer. It's by Rich Mullins and The Ragamuffin Band. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac4GnpqXQAQ.