Totally Scammed

I have been recently scammed. I am wondering how much information I should put down now but in a way, what the hell? Maybe I'll write about Dabney after this one, because the thing is, if this guy is already reading my blog, I wouldn't even be surprised. If he IS, then something bad will happen today or tonight. If not, who knows, maybe tomorrow.

I met these Colombians who I thought were cool guys and then everything got a little weird.

First one was saying he paid off police for tickets but it was harder in the U.S. and that he could get me Percocet if I needed it for the back pain and couldn't afford the prescription. Then I was introduced to this other guy who says we could have a marriage of convenience because he wouldn't mind being a citizen and he knew I wanted help with my son, to pay for a private attorney. There is nothing illegal about a marriage of convenience. If I were married, there's no reason, even if I just had a boyfriend, to have someone help me with financial things, especially regarding my own son. And if he wants papers and we're married legally, there's no reason not to. Besides, no one can say there isn't any love or we didn't fall in love at some point or whatever.

But first, I was asked if I needed a car, and a printer/fax, and a computer. Like he's offering me all these things, right from the start. And he said he'd give me a key. But the next thing I know, he just wants me to use his computer, and then doesn't have the extra one he said he had for me, and then doesn't even bring the other one home after work like he promised, when he knows how desperate I am. I told him I did NOT "need" or have to have a car.

I think that was quite generous of me, really. Now, living here, I realize I need a fucking car. But I said I would try to just take the Metro. I didn't know the Metro is 20 minutes from the fucking bus stop in the snow and ice.

So the next thing I know, everything is just one fat lie.

There is no computer. There is no key. There is no nada. And by this time, I wasn't doing anything for him sexually either. But I heard his friend say to him on the phone, "Contigo con la Americana or otra novia?" or something like that, like, number 1, I couldn't hear, and number 2, I don't understand Spanish.

He'd told me he had a novia who is married but getting divorce and how would he explain this marriage.

But one minute, we have a deal, and then the next minute, it's like I'm just getting set up to be delayed, stalled, and exploited.

If you don't have the money, don't make promises. If you're poor, fine. No problemo, but this guy goes from offering a car, computer, key, marriage, and payment for all private legal services between 10-20 thousand dollars to...what?

Suddenly it's too expensive??? He can't afford it? It turned into some kind of fruitstand bargain. No, even 5 thousand was a lot. I told him, $5,000 would barely be enough for a retainer and then there would be costs after that. So then he wants to do it for a fucking TWO thousand dollars? yeah right. $2,000 will pay for my plane ticket to Wenatchee and three hours of a legal consultation with some asshole who tells me to go "pro se".

I mean, put up and put out or shut up.

I have met a lot of men who have made various offers, but this one beats them all. Here I am, at the last moment, at the crux, thinking I'm finally getting a way that serves all purposes and what the fuck does this guy do next???

Okay, next thing I know, I'm asking him if he's changed his mind or what's going on and he says he wants to talk about it upstairs. So it SEEMS normal until I'm upstairs and the first thing he wants to do is grab his fucking iPOD blackberry type thing and press some buttons and put it in his pocket. And then I start talking. And then I start thinking, "This guy is a fucking CIA or FBI rat". He sets me up with a proposition and then backs out on EVERYTHING after he, what, records me discussing our agreement?

Even if he's not a rat, you don't make a promise you can't keep and you know what tells me this is all a scam is not that he renigs on the marriage contract (which I said we'd do a pre-nup for), but if he's so fucking poor and money is the material issue, then why the hell is the key not forthcoming, and the computer is no longer mine to use as he promised, and he takes the fax machine and everything to his workplace?

So he says he's talked to a lawyer who says I have to go back to Wenatchee. He's like a fucking U.S. government asshole. Not only asking me the day before, if it would really matter that much if I lost my son, but then taking up MY TIME, and lying to me and stringing me along with something that sounds legit.

It sounded like a serious possibility and then this guy backs out on everything. He was backing out before I ever made out with him and then a little bit ago, there was a moment or two but I wouldn't let him kiss me. I just wouldn't. I did not want to kiss him.

So then I get this line. He laughs and says, "Okay, I won't kiss you, I'll just kill you."

Only in D.C. I think this one is right up there with Dabney's "You're a fly caught in my web."

Next thing you know I'm going to be a fucking Mata Hari blowing kisses at the firing squad. Dicks.

I thought I'd rebound but it didn't work. I still have some feelings for the crazy asshole who I'm going to be exposing the shit out of. Come to think of it, I never ONCE, ever, heard him shit.

That's besides the point. So I'm thinking well, I'm getting married, so what the hell, get used to it feminista evangelista. He said Vegas and when he said that might be too expensive, I should have known. But come on, I thought Colombians have friends in high places. I was like, no, not Vegas. Too trashy. Would be fitting, but no, I should wear a dress. I might wear a red dress, and hell, make it a cocktail dress too, but it shouldn't be some 24 hour Vegas deal.

If I get fucking married, I want everyone to have cocktails first. Including me. But it wasn't going to be a big deal. Pre-nup all the way. Then divorce if we want. He's not adopting my kid. So what's the big fucking deal?

The big fucking deal, is that I need a Donald Trump type if I'm ever going to get to the high rise I need to be at. I just need one person who can actually spare $20,000 or so, soley for my son. I am not talking about all this other crap that these "Girlfriends of Bankers" are into. I mean, I could outshine the whole of that soire, but the hell I care.

I don't know exactly what it is that I have, but I scare a lot of people shitless. I've been told I intimidate men, and that I'm hard to pin down, and unpredictable, and creative, and eccentric, and a whole gamut of things.

I definitely draw an international crowd.

In college I did. When I first went out to clubs, I did. Now, in this D.C. area, it's not even out of the ordinary.

I just need someone who is halfway attractive to me who is rich and with whom will be ammenable to a marriage of convenience.

Okay, time to write about Dabney.

I don't know what he did for a living but I guess someone does. So it is time to write about his shit.

I suppose I'll add, I did go through some things after I realized all this marriage crap is a line. I looked through a small notebook and he had written many phrases in English-Spanish but there was also a section for RUSSIAN.

He had written down several phrases to say in Russian, including, "fuck me", "pretty girl", and some other things. I thought, why the hell is he into this Russian thing too?" He's got a thing for Russian women?

Oh, and he's been in the military in Colombia because I saw the military card, and I went through all his papers and pictures and a phone I found. When his story got iffy, I began to wonder who he really was.

You respect me, I respect you. I do not invade the privacy of anyone unless it's for a god damn good reason, but this one, was getting a little iffy.