Footballer's Widow is Relieved Husband Was Nuts

I thought I'd kept this article, but I didn't and I don't remember whether it was the Post or the NYT but I think it was NYT.

At any rate, there was an article about this poor former footballer, who died, and I guess had some head injuries or problems actually with drug addiction for what was most likely legitimate pain and an attempt to cure it.

So what does his widow do? She fucking signs over rights to scientists to autopsy her poor widowed husband's head and write up diagnostics and then publicize it to the ENTIRE WORLD.

This was her husband and he had DIED. Thanks honey. Thanks for revealing every part of my brain to the whole fucking world, without my consent, and for feeling relieved that my attachment to drugs might have been because of "brain damage". Glad we can get this all out in the open and that you now have peace of mind my addictions and attitudes were all about brain damage, even though no one ever fucking talked to me or did a psych evaluation to see what was really going on in my head.

Unless, dear, you consulted a medium and I was brought back from the dead and cannot, for some reason, remember this, I guess, because of my brain damage? Wait, let me ask the newstand boy--what was my problem again?

I was sort of happy, honey, with the idea of going like Kurt Cobain or sounding a little bit manly in my addictive or "risk taking" behavior, you know, it was a bad way to die, but I kind of liked preserving my masculinity. But thanks, honey, for showing the entire fucking world how I was actually severely brain damaged and really, just nutso. But it wasn't my "fault" of course.

Oh and thank God, may you one day rest in peace, dear, that YOU were never to blame, in any way, for my actions, words, and behavior. You certaintly didn't drive me to my addictions.

Hallelujah for post-mortem memoriums. I feel soooo vindicated....or, well, I always wanted to know, you know, and even if it's a little late, maybe my helmet-head will prevent...hmmmmm...what will this prove....??? I'm thinking, thinking, thinking....

Footballers should SUE those helmet makers. No, wait, I guess we should go play tag-football now.

Honey, I always prided myself on having that Stallone accent, and now you've reduced this to a slurring symptom of brain damage.

I always wanted to go down in history as the best fucking fighter and footballer there ever was, but now...well, God bless my soul, I'll be going down in history as a science specimen.