How Clueless My Family Is About CPS

I called my parents when I was bleeding, so they knew. I have mixed feelings about it.
I never heard from my father at all. Just my mother, who answered the phone. When she first called, she had this overly sweet voice, which made me wonder where my father was. I have noticed, on more than one occasion, she is totally different over the phone depending on whether my father is potentially within hearing. She sounded so sweet so I asked where my dad was and she said he was in bed already.

Then she wanted to know what was going on and I told her that they were starting to tell me I'd lost too much blood and they wanted me to sign a consent form to be transfused with blood.

So she heard this and then asked if she could pray for me and I said I didn't see how that would help anything to pray out loud. I felt I don't mind having someone pray for me, but why does it have to be out loud? God doesn't hear better if it's said out loud. But I said okay because she wanted to, and then she gave me 2 scriptures she said came to her, about the woman who was bleeding touching the hem of christ, and then about being raised from the dead. She said the point was to know miracles happen. She started to suggest I didn't have faith or didn't believe in them and I told her, once again, she was presumptive to think she knew anything about where I was with "God" and what I believed. It was fine, the conversation, and I told her I'd call if they went ahead with the transfusion.

So here I was on the phone, telling her I had to have blood transfusion, more than an hour before they began to try, and it didn't work. I called my mom back and told her, about an hour later or more, that I had signed the form and they were transfusing me. She sounded disappointed, like the prayer hadn't been answered, and then said she'd just pray the blood was good blood and that there were no complications. Then I called later but was too groggy to talk.

The next time I heard from her, I would bet money my dad was nowhere near. And she didn't call from the house phone, but her cell phone. I had already been transfused and had a headache and fever from it. Not a very high fever, but a slight one, about 100.something when I'm usually a little bit below even normal temperature. I had the worst headache.

When I talked to her, this time, I again realized how completely clueless my mother was and how it is almost impossible--No, IS IMPOSSIBLE to reason with her at all.

My mother once told me she'd thought about getting a license to practice law. This was just a few years ago. She had been in real estate a long time, and some bosses had wanted to partner with her. Because she knew so much about real estate and real estate transactions and law, after hearing I was thinking of law school, seriously, she said that this was something she was considering herself, and I remember telling her she wasn't cut out for the work.

I didn't tell her this to be mean. I have encouraged my mother about things in the past, but she isn't logical and cannot think independently. She doesn't know how to distinguish hearsay from firsthand testimony, and doesn't even seem to get it. Even if my mother, at some point, would THINK she is "trying" or is correct in her assessments, she has these blinders that I don't think she can even overcome.

I used to think all I had to do, was explain things, but I could explain all day, and she would still fall back on what others' say, or fall back to her opinions.

My mother knows a lot of information. She knows how to do research and if motivated, will scour for the best and latest news. She can also do real estate contracts and keep up with paperwork. Something I cannot "fix" about her, however, is her inability to think logically and sort out gossip from the facts.

Which is why I told her she wouldn't be good at law. You have to analyze information, not just collect it and spit it back out. If it comes down to HER health, she will research backwards and forwards. But if it comes to anyone else, she just takes the opinion of whomever she likes best or has the highest degree.

I used to think my mother was better than that. I used to see her challenging others about what they were telling her--if the window man came out, my mother already knew how much he should be charging her, and knew every single detail about windows. No matter what it was, she would learn it and then make sure no one was ripping her off and would try to talk to others about the best deal or learn from others. She had several offers for jobs, out of the blue, from people who, one after the other, saw she had studied the information in their field. She's had people offer her jobs for a wide variety of things, from being a police officer (which totally cracked me up), to a banker, to broker, to other odd jobs. However, you see HUGE glaring warning signs when she starts trying to argue and rationalize things.

I have always, since I was a very little girl, been able to out-think and out-argue my parents and it pissed them off so I was cut off or they would just say, "Because I SAID so! THAT'S why!" They knew if they provided an actual "reason" that I would be able to blow it away and then they'd have to come up with some other excuse. I have always, always, questioned my parents ability to think and argue logically. My mother is the worst, but even my father I have seriously questioned. My father is supposed to be some kind of quasi-genius, and can do about anything he puts his mind to, but I always had the advantage in making a clear, logical argument. It has frustrated me to no end, that they are not capable of thinking in a clear pattern.

It shocks me, because I could spend hours and hours and days and months and years, trying to drill something into their minds, based on fact, and if they think they can't accept what I'm saying, they just refuse to believe. Either that, or I'll explain, and they finally get it, and then the next time we're talking, they've totally forgotten again, as if they can't remember what it was about in the first place.

So, an example of my mother's thinking style, I'll write below. She got so angry and kept cutting me off when I was trying to explain. She always wants to interrupt and say her piece and then hang up. I got so upset, by this conversation with her, that I was crying and yelling in my hospital room, and trying to yell over my mother who was yelling, and this was after the transfusion and my fever went up afterward. The nurse said, "your blood pressure has gone up". I wonder why. Even after it went up it wasn't normal.

One of the biggest clashes between me and my parents, is the fact that they take NOTHING seriously. It's all over their head and they think everything is going to be "fine". It doesn't matter how important or how bad things are, they think they can "pray" and everything will be "fine". Sometimes I want to forgive them for what I think must be sheer ignorance, but then I see how they react differently when it comes to THEIR finances or personal matters. Suddenly, they have no problem hiring a lawyer. They claim to have no way of helping the daughter they promised to help with a private attorney, and back out of multiple promises, and it's not like I'm asking for too much. I am an adult, yes, but I have had many obstacles put my way and most of them have NOT been my fault, and there has been a lot of money from my grandparents that both my brother and I have NEVER seen, which was to go partly to me and my brother. So when all the gift money is going straight to the linings of my parents' pockets, I don't think it too much to ask for help for a private attorney.

Anyway, this is what our argument was over, and I think it proves my mother cannot reason correctly. I am not sure why others, who have as little education and are as narrow-minded, manage to think more logically, but this is how it goes: