Excuses From Mother About Breaking Promises

I am copying this, because I've had people ask me so many times why don't I ask for help from my family? as if I've not done enough or asked hard enough or long enough. I have done all that I can do, and this is why I choose to post this private information, because no one is ever going to tell my son a lie, that his mother didn't do everything within her power, to get assistance from her family, to get him back. Either you honor an oath and keep commitments, or you don't. There are no excuses. I don't think there are any excuses for family like this. My mother is a pathological liar and "forgeter" of promises made and my father has lately hung back like an old heavy coat on a thin wire hanger, slumped, but backing her skinny-ass frame. He'll keep her for her inheritance and she'll keep him because he's all she knows and she has no clue what it is to be an independent single woman:


RE: depressed by your decisions‏
From: cam huegenot (cameocares@live.com)
Sent: Fri 1/09/09 1:32 PM
To: mom dad (dicksiedael@aol.com)
as to my memories being "different" from yours, I saved and posted proof of what the memories were and anyone can read and see. My memory is right but you always back out on what you say and then claim I misunderstood.

you didn't quit paying for a lawyer bc I didn't stop writing in a blog. You had not even faxed me your contract for agreement, which you said you would do when we were making it official. I have proof, by email, of what your verbal committment was and that I was waiting for a faxed contract from you, which you wrote you'd send, and never did.

I told you when I signed that contract, I would do all of the things I agreed to do, and you said okay. I kept telling you to fax it over and you never did.

I wonder why...

You just decided to back out and make excuses for it. Now you claim it was because I didn't stop writing on the blog. That wasn't part of OUR agreement. We had 4 points which I agreed to, and I agreed to all of them.

Not only that, you promised to pay for a RETAINED FT lawyer, not an "assist" with ME as the PRO SE party. The agreement was to pay for a private attorney to REPRESENT me, not to tell me to represent MYSELF. So you never even SIGNED a retainer or even made it official with any lawyer. When HE backed out on stuff, I told you he was no good. It wasn't an agreement that you paid for BeATY, it was that you paid for a private attorney for getting my son back and to represent me. Beaty wasn't even going to represent me FT and he was charging more than he initially said he would. I didn't agree to be PRO SE and have you pay for "an assist" and you KNOW THIS.

You try to twist everything around, and I guess it's for whatever reasons you have for hoping to save face. You can lie to yourself, but no one else will believe you when they can see from the emails I posted from you and from me, that I'M right, and you are making excuses for BACKING OUT on a very important oath. You're not even willing to try to make a correction. You're just happy to think you have an "out".

It's not like you're saying, "Okay, maybe we misunderstood, we are still making good on our oath if you will make good on your end", you're just saying, it's over.

You called me up, gave me a list of ridiculous conditions you thought I'd never agree to, and I shocked you by agreeing to EVERY SINGLE ONE. I was willing to do ANYTHING for my son, but you were not.

You cannot keep your promises, and my entire life, you have been unable to do this. But the one time I needed you most, you failed me. You did not just fail me, you failed your grandson, and when he is older, he will read all of these heartbreaking letters by his mother and whose side do you think he will take?

You put your finances, as always, before your only daughter, and try and hope for excuses out of EVERYTHING.

You promised. You made an oath under the eyes of God, and with God as my witness, I was committed 100% to a fraudulent offer from you, of help.

You're frauds, and yet you expect me to love and adore you and some kind of respect for you, when I am always the one picking up the loose ends.

I have given you things from my heart, when I had nothing to give...I gave out of my poverty, but you give nothing out of your abundance.

To: cameocares@live.com
Subject: Fwd: depressed by your decisions
Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2009 20:52:27 -0500
From: dicksiedael@aol.com

Hi. Since you said you didn't get this, I'm just forwarding it on to you so that you'll hopefully get it this time.


-----Original Message-----
From: dicksiedael@aol.com
To: cameocares@live.com
Sent: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 6:34 pm
Subject: Re: depressed by your decisions

Cameo, I had not yet responded because we've had a different crisis here that has consumed us most of the day.
As to the date for any hearings or anything; I have no idea. I don't think there IS a 'date' at this point. I was just told that "if you had not shown
any cooperation by February, CPS would begin termination of parental rights". They had said all along that if you were fighting them and not
cooperating after one year, that's what they usually do and will do, and February is coming up. I really don't see the point in discussing most of your
memories as you always disagree or seem to recall things totally differently than we do. However, since you keep saying we wanted you to adopt Oliver out,
I will make the comment that when you "first" told us you were pregnant, we asked "have you considered adoption?". That is it. We didn't 'suggest' it,
didn't 'push' it, didn't say we thought you should, just wanted to know if you'd looked at all the options. We have always loved Oliver and still do, and want
his best.

Holly has encourag ed you to work with CPS because she knows that's the only chance you have of being reunited. We DID hire an attorney, and it was the attorney
that YOU chose. We told you from the start that we thought you should move closer and get a local or more local attorney as we could not pay $2,000 each
time he just DROVE to=2 0court. That's not for his legal expertise, just his driving time. After paying for his services, he told you to NOT write in your blog without
his approving your writing prior to publishing it. You chose to ignore his advice and we decided we would not pay for an attorney when you
would not even follow the direction he was being paid to provide. Then you wanted a NEW attorney in the Seattle area and we refused. Again, you weren't even
listening to the one you had.

We do love you and we do want your best. Is CPS being totally upfront with you? I don't know. I wouldn't blame them for some
bias after the way you've treated individuals there. I DO believe that Kyle Flick was being sincere with ME when he said "it's tough, but you need to work with
them and go through their hoops". I also met and talked with Marie on two ocassions and while I know you don't trust her, I do believe she is sincere. Its been said
before, and will say again, if you want to get Oliver back, work "with" CPS. If you have not=2 0got 'mental issues', evaluations will prove that. Even if a doctor said you
did have issues, they don't just take him away---they want to get you counseling or meds or whatever is necessary to overcome it -- all with goal of reuniting you
and Oliver. You say THEY want to 'break bonds", but YOU are the one who mov ed away and couldn't go through either moving closer or traveling on a bus (even if painful)
to go visit when visitation was available. We love you, but we do not agree that your choices are helping you. We will always be here for you,
but that doesn't necessarily mean we will always agree with you or think as you want us to. Love, Mom and Dad.


-----Original Message-----
From: cam huegenot
To: mom dad
Sent: Mon, 5 Jan 2009 4:44 pm
Subject: depressed by your decisions

you were willing to talk to me on the phone so i'm not sure why you'd do this and not write back on email.

i figured i'd write you an email since you talked to me on the phone.

i am extremely depressed by your choice to go back on your promise to me, and you've not responded to me, and think everything is just fine.

i have been crying the last several days, not over miscarriage, but over your response to oliver and what the state has done, and how you don't believe anything i say.

like i said, you have everything. you don't know what it's like to be me at all, but my whole life you've imagined you KNEW what was 'best' for me. you thought marriage would be best for me, and a job you wanted me to get, etc.

all i cared about, is oliver, and the one thing that i love most, the ONLY thing that i care about or love, you backed out on helping me get back when you made an absolute promise to me.

i haven't been well enough to do any "services" the last couple of months wiht a painful pregnancy and then miscarriage, which still isn't over, and you think it's all fine. i don't even know what the due date is, and yet you've not written to tell me. i am in no condition to be 'pro se' and it was wrong from the start, for this judge to do this.

i have begged, begged, you for help. i have cried and stayed up nights, praying, and begging for you to remember your promise to me. it seems you don't care and cannot put yourself in my shoes in the slightest.

it doesn't make a difference to YOU, one way or the other. how could it? it makes no differen ce to you personally except that it seems you think you'll lose more if you help me---financially. but it makes no difference to you that you lose your daughter's faith and trust by backingn out on important oaths.

i have been so depressed today, especially, crying over this and thinking about how my family has treated me, i know i would and will never recover should you or anyone in your family leave me to the state and let them turn oliver over, WITHOUT GIVING ME A FAIR CHAN CE.

i am most likely going to go on antidepressants, not because of this miscarriage, but because i am afraid and worried and so depressed by your response to what's going on with oliver and your failure to honor an important promise to me. i don't want to come back a few years later to sue my own family to get oliver, but if i ever came into money, i would.

i know what holly and pablo were doing in mexico. they were not just visiting pablos family. they were getting a clearance from oliver's dad, when he hasn't even talked to ME and would NEVER condone their adopting my son if he talked to me about this.

your family has bent over backwards to do these things, and you stand to the side. my heart breaks, and you have no idea what it does to me to know what your involvement has been and how little you care to uphold your promise to me, when this is the ONLY thing and the ONE thing i care about in this life. if anyone has eve r let me down, in my lifetime, nothing has been greater than what my own parents have down, in raising my hopes and then throwing me down with nothing.

you never wanted me to be a single mother and you are making sure i have no chance. you think it's better for oliver anyway, and that i'll get over it. you don't care, at all, about me. you don't love me, and yet you tell me to my face, that you're "praying" for me.

i feel sick to my stomach and sick=2 0to my heart, and all i can do is cry, knowing you really don't give a damn about me, at all.