Letter to Oliver, My Son, in Isolation

Oliver,

I am losing you. It is not because of my choice, because I have no choices. You were illegally taken from me, and I will show you how my own family has been unable to understand what has happened. The Garretts and Bairds will tell you a story about how they tried to help, but they did not, and they have never understood. I will show you, by pointing out select emails, how these are lies.

I want you to come to me, but unless I have someone helping me financially, I will not get you back, and this has been made pointedly clear to me. Unless someone rich is willing to help me, I may not even see you until you are 12 or legally able to tell the court you wish to live with me. You have that right.

Until then, Oliver, I want you know how I've fought for you and how no one in this country has bothered to lift one finger to help me. I have made very powerful enemies, and both you and I have been harmed. I cannot live in a country where the FBI refuses to hold their own employees accountable for crime, and covers obstruction of justice, when the system is so broken, it is only held together by the paste glue of lies those who still make money from it, use, to claim it's being held together. There are others who know what I'm talking about, but I never thought I'd see this day.

Oliver, I cannot get even basic things, that a U.S. citizen has a right to. I do not receive my mail and have had mail problems for years which the U.S. postal office has refused to investigate, even after I gave them evidence. I cannot get justice for being raped, when I had the DNA swab and gave everything they needed to take to the lab and they refused to do it. I cannot get a copy of my case file, when I've requested this from my PDs and from the Washington State Bar. I cannot get my unborn child's body released to the funeral home I selected for pathology because someone has something to hide, again. I cannot get discovery from the state, before hearings, to this day, and received a box of documents too late, after they decided against me and I had no defense. I cannot get copies of my medical records, radiology films and records which prove my injuries and which were deliberately withheld from the dependency court. I cannot get records which pertain to you, regarding your vaccination records, though I asked for years, and they have been allowed to refuse them to me.

I have written a complaint to the ADA, and no one has contacted me and they do nothing to help me get any of these things. I wrote a complaint to the WSB and they refuse to confirm they've received these things.

My last babies did not die because it was an accident. They were killed because of intentionally negligence and then cover up, again, of this negligence. I was repeatedly given medications which doctors knew would cause severe pain and then refused pain relief when they knew I would be in pain. There are people who deliberately wanted me to suffer, who know exactly what is typical for pain relief is necessary, to aleviate the pain which would be caused by such medications.

I went to every single legal aid in the state of Washington and the Clear Line and no one would help me. Oliver, I have done absolutely everything necessary. I even came to D.C. to get a fair chance at a psychological evaluation and in response, for not doing it in Wenatchee, when the court said I could have it done over here, they cut off my phone visitation with you. I have records of how many times I left messages with Wenatchee CPS to the same Marie my mother claims is honest, who I have email proof ignored my requests for notice of accomodations over and over, and ignored and lied about giving me discovery. I tried to see someone here right away, months ago, and I have record I went in to the D.C. CPS office and kept being ignored even though I told them I wanted to do their services. All they wanted to do, was stall for 2 months to buy time to set things up against me here. They brought their General Counsel in, Oliver, and that's the head lawyer. If I wasn't a "threat" to them, and if they weren't worried they'd done something wrong, that guy never would have been brought in. I recorded their attempts to refuse me a release form and had this saved, and as of the last week, it appears this evidence has "disappeared". I had been planning to put it online and everyone knew, it was going to show how D.C. CPS was trying to prevent me from getting the process started, after they'd been in communication with Wenatchee CPS.

They have lied so many times, and constantly, and refused me the BASIC rights. I am refused documents I have a legal right to, that everyone, any citizen knows I have a right to.

They are not going to "work" to get me back together with you. Enough people want a mental illness diagnosis from a professional, for their own alibis of criminal conduct. I have reported people who have assaulted, who work for the government, and others who have raped me, and I have reported doctors who slander and lie about damages they caused. And it is true, what happened to you and me and I bear the evidence in my body as do you, still.

They will use any diagnosis to permanently keep me from you, and in the meantime have purposefully cut off our right to visit with one another and to keep the bond. From the start, they stalled on visitation for weeks, when former CPS workers say it should have taken no more than 1-2 days. They stalled on this, with us, for over 2 weeks.

Oliver, I am doing what I can, to get you back, but I will not get you back the way they claim. It was illegal, what they did, to start, which is why they don't even want me to have BASIC records. They know if I somehow came into money, I could sue all of them for civil rights violations.

The only chance I have of getting you back, and making sure the right people are held accountable for what they've done, is to keep trying to find someone I can create an alliance with, who will provide us with the financial support to fight this, who will not be afraid, or who will choose to remain anonymous. I am still fighting for this, for you, but I am telling you, it may not happen right away. That doesn't mean I've let you go or given up. It means I'm not taking their fucking plea bargain when I'm innocent. Always remember this Oliver, to never give up, and to fight for the truth at all cost, knowing it is only the truth, in the end, which will really set you free.

All of these people who claim to love the truth and the law, show how sincere they are, by their actions. You have a mother who loves you more than anything in the world, and who is smart enough to know I am obligated by God to deny neither myself, the truth. I believe somehow, God will honor me for doing the right thing, even if it is the hardest thing, and although it will cost a lot of money later, and I will be taking my own family and the state to court, I know for a fact, that if anyone is on our side, God is. Even though I have no one and may be isolated intentionally, I know in my heart of hearts, what has happened, and it is too horrible for most people to imagine. Just like it is easier on the mind to think Diana's accident was just an "accident" and most cannot wrap their minds around other possibilities, where so much would have to be organized and deliberately planned, Oliver, these are the realities of the world. There are people in high places who will do whatever it takes to bring just one "agitator" down.

You are going to be proud of me, as I know my God is proud of me. I knew my life was going to be different and something special was in store, but this is just the beginning of a great story. Honey, you have an incredible future and we will be together and I am going to be nothing if not a model of strength and courage in the middle of corruption.

You watch Oliver. I love you and you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I trust you, to believe in me. Trust your mother. People will try to gain your love and confidence and alienate you from me, but listen to me...I know what the truth is and I am right honey. It is very evil and horrible what has happened, but it will be okay. It is never right to accept a lie when so much is at stake and it will only backfire. Those people taking guilty pleas, and signing statements, knowing they are innocent, they are hopeful, and they are deceived and lied to. They sign away their lives and their futures, and I see this and I am going to protect you from that. I am going to protect you from the ignorance, the hypocrisy, and the lie.

Oliver, I just wanted you to know, the first song I heard after writing this to you, on the radio I'm listening to, is Erasure's "Stop!". We will be together, this I know, and maybe sooner than you or I think. I am praying for a miracle, that it will be God's will to bring someone to us who will make me an offer I cannot refuse, to pay for all court costs to get what we need.

I will never, ever, give up on you. Ever. I love you and we are going to win. We are going to win by doing it the right way, not the seeming "easy" way.

Love your devoted,
Mama