Thursday, January 22, 2009

My Family Tells Me I'm Losing My Son

My brother called me today, second time he's called of his own initiative, in maybe 5 years.

I love my brother. I fought for him, defended him, and kept in touch and kept up with his life. But he chose to drop out of the picture when it was convenient for him.

Then he calls on two occasions. Right after he found out I was pregnant again, and given the fact he and his wife are barren, I have to wonder about that.

Then he called today, to say he thought I was losing my son and having my rights termninated by CPS if I didn't move back to Wenatchee sometime in January or February.

That's all he said, and that's all my aunt Holly has said to me too, a few weeks ago.

All that I've been told, is that "If you don't move back to Wenatchee by maybe Feb., you're losing your son".

I have not received any information about this. I have made multiple requests to CPS, the AG, and Douglas County Courthouse, to mail me copies of the order and motions with such instructions, and I have always updated them on my addresses. I was told by CASA that I didn't receive timely notice from them, because, Sue from CASA said, "the department" gave CASA the wrong address, or wrong zip code. It was the correct address with the wrong zip. So I never got notice prior to the last hearing, on any documents, not even the one from CASA, and they ADMIT it. They told me they mailed it to me about 4 days prior to the hearing, which isn't enough time to be able to respond if I wanted, much less even arrive.

So my family tells me, vaguely, that I'm losing my son, and the very next thing they say, in a positive tone as if nothing is wrong at all, is that there are people in the family who want to adopt Oliver, and if not my aunt and uncle, my brother sits there on the phone telling me that "Oh!" so-and-so would also like to adopt him. Then I had my mother telling me a little while ago, when I was in the hospital from miscarriage, that about 3-4 different families on HER SIDE, the BAIRDS, wanted to, and were willing to adopt my son.

Like it doesn't matter at all, and when they're saying this to me, they say it as if it's good news. My family doesn't fucking care. They actually WANT and have ALWAYS wanted my son to be adopted out to someone else besides me.

Not because I'm not a good mother. My own mother admitted to me, over the phone when I was in hospital, that she KNEW I was an excellent mother. I said, "Tell me this, do you or do you not think I am a good mother and did you know this or not?" and she admitted yes, she knew it.

But that's not enough for them.

My family doesn't think it's "right" for any single woman to raise a child, and they never wanted me to raise and keep my own son.

Then, I blab about the family's dysfunctions, and they are just as eager as CPS, the Abbey lawyers, and the FBI, and Wenatchee asshole doctors, to claim I'm mentally ill and try to have me pinned or pegged as such to have an alibi for their own hideous behavior.

My family thinks it's better that my son is with some other family. A family that is "religious" like them, as fanatical, and a family where there is a "father" involved.

I was never good enough, in their eyes, not because I'm not an excellent mother, but because of their backwards and fucked up ideas about what constitutes a family. They had zero interest in my son until he was taken from me and now they're all over him, and acting like they are "reassuring" me he will be in "good hands" if I lose him, which they know is going to happen.

I have told them, as of today, that I swear to God, if I lose my son when I never had a chance to even DEFEND myself and never even got evidence or discovery when I had a right to it prior to hearings, I will sue.

All that money which was saved in backing out on their promise to pay for a private attorney, for me to keep my son, all of that money is going to come back and bite them in the ass, because NO ONE who thinks they can take my son, is going to be secure.

I will sue, and even if it takes 2 years, if I don't sue both the state and my family, I will be suing whoever has my son, and that is going to cost a lot of money to pay for a defense attorney when this happens.

Money which could have been saved if they'd honored their promises and oaths to begin with.

As for CPS and the AG and Justice Dept., I talked to a lawyer today about obstruction of justice, and the fact I never got discovery or notice to be pro se, and how I'm not even getting my U.S. mail.

It's illegal, and it's grounds for a major lawsuit.

Hopefully, no one ever sides with me. Hopefully, I never make enough money. Hopefully...

But if someone thinks I'm just sitting over here on the East coast, forgetting about my son, they have a surprise in store. I will never stop fighting for my son, and I am getting my son back on MY TERMS, and at a much greater cost to others than would have occured had people abided by the laws and done the right thing to begin with.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

If it's really true that your family doesn't want you to parent as a single woman, then why have you posted emails from them and other attempts (your brother calling) asking you to please come home and try to get him back? I think they want you to have him, but they know how stubborn you are in wanting to get money from the state in the form of a lawsuit and too into playing the disadvantaged woman that they know you won't move back and they are trying to think of the future with Oliver's best interest in mind. If you won't come back and be his Mom then who will? You say you want to, but only on your terms of 'winning your case' which in Oliver's case isn't good enough because he needs you now. I think you sound like a good mom, but it's concerning that you are trying to sue WA state, and now you're involved in more court cases and more potential law suits. How is that healthy for your son or for you?

Mama said...

Hi,

At this point, this doesn't have anything to do with winning money from a lawsuit.

1. I WAS going to file for damages to me and my son for childbirth trauma and other medical problems, and the Wenatchee docs KNEW this and tried to conceal everything. They then chose to slander me and retaliate by calling CPS. So that made it impossible for me to still sue them, because of what happened.

Any lawsuit I'm speaking of now has nothing to do with money actually, but has to do with the LAW, and rules of procedure.

If you've read the news, not too long ago a Senator from Alaska was charged, by the FBI, for crimes. What happened, is that this guy was convicted. Later, a "whistleblower" from the FBI, who was only ONE person in an entire group of people trying to prosecute guy, well, THAT guy knew some things that had happened were wrong.

He was aware that even though this Senator had allegedly done bad things, every citizen in the U.S. is supposed to have certain rights respected. The right to good a defense is key, and one of the main reasons this country was even FOUNDED.

People came over here from England, back in the day, because they were found guilty of crimes they didn't commit, where they had NO jury. The only person deciding things was the Judge and then there was the 'state' attorney.

So in America, this country was founded on very important rules that provide for DEFENSE, and not only old sloppy defense, but "reasonable defense" for crimes and certain civil actions.

The entire reason is based on historical fact, that systems and "justice systems" can and do become perverted and corrupt. Money buys power so often, and some Judges are bought, if not through material gain, through social status and better positions.

So it is imperative that people, especially the poor, for those who are at a disadvantage, have recourse to charges brought against them for any number of reasons.

What is commendable about the FBI officer who came forward, is that they recognized that while justice had the "appearance" of being fair, and while the evidence may have been truly STACKED against this guy, he was still deprived of certain laws, rules, and protocols were not followed. He was discriminated against by this, and through the improper conduct of those who were trying to press charges.

The larger FBI group was, on the surface, doing a good thing--fighting fraud and crime. But when they disregarded the civil rights of this man, it takes the wind out of things. It made that FBI group a lessor group, and almost inferior to this man, because they had POWER and they abused this power, or neglected to put this power to fair and good use.

There was ONE person, in that entire group, that spoke up.

Do you know how many times, people get railroaded and NO ONE ever speaks up?

How many times maybe a few people might know what has happened is wrong, but they are afraid of coming forward and just "hope" all the bad things will go away?

Some people know and feel guilty, but keep it to themselves. They decide they are not responsible. They choose not to speak up for someone else and they try to forget what happened, or rationalize, thinking this person must have done SOMETHING wrong and got what they deserved in the long run.

But when this happens, justice as we know it, dies. The flame doesn't even flicker.

What is also very alarming is the rise of Summary Judgment cases, where people never get a chance to have a jury hear their case, because a Judge is given sole power and authority to choose to let a jury hear it or not. That's going all the way back, taking a giant step backwards, to the days of England where the King decided everything.

The U.S., has become it's own sort of monarchy through plutocracy. It's unhealthy and the policies that are formed have weakened the country while making only a few select very strong.

In the meantime, even the most beautiful and well-regarded laws and writings of our nation, are forgotten. The Bill of Rights is ineffective and dead on sight because there are not enough lawyers willing to fight for the civil rights of the poor, and they are the most often targeted.

I also think some famous people are targeted, because of jealousy and their gifts, but at least have money to fight with. Others do NOT.

So when my son was taken from me illegally, and so many laws were ignored and my rights violated, at great harm and separation to me and my son, it is important these people are held accountable.

I have a LOT of things I could and should sue for, which I should be compensated for dearly. I do.

But the primary lawsuit I've spoken of recently, has to do with my right to a fair and equal defense and the fact that I was railroaded and my son was taken out of retailiation, and not because of merit.

Evidence crucial to my defense was WITHHELD, and this is illegal. I cannot fight for myself or the truth or my son when this happens. I also asked, repeatedly, for discovery and my case file, and I never got it prior to hearings. I didn't get notice to prepare for being "pro se" either.

These things are not little mistakes to ignore. They are things to stand up and fight for, because when you or I fight for ourselves and our rights, or the rights of others who are in a similiar position, you fight for everyone. Instead of setting "precedent" you reinforce the validity of our laws, and the CREDIBILITY of our country.

To do less, and for so many to have ignored the law in my case, is hypocrisy. It's frightening to see people run things this way, with no fear of being held accountable, and that's the scariest thing. What it means is that they've done this before, they're doing it to me now, and they are not in the least worried about doing it to someone else in the future.

My job as a mother, is to fight for my son and to be an example to him of what kind of person I hope he will one day be.

I know my son and I were damaged and I know things that happened to us most people don't believe or understand. But I am gaining ground in that more and more people are starting to believe me.

What CPS would do, if they were honorable, is dismiss this case. Or the Judge should. But because they already goofed, now all they are concerned with is covering things up.

Meanwhile, there are a couple of people who KNOW what has happened to me and my son. They wrestle with the problem of whether to speak up or not and to whom? they think about retaliation against themselves and their own families. They struggle, just as maybe some of those FBI people did.

The good soil. Read the parable of the good soil. When the fruit was grown and a harvest produced, it was because the seed did not fall on fallow ground, on thorns, on rocks, and because the birds of the air did not pick the seed away to assuage their own hunger. When the seed, or the word, whatever that word may be, falls onto good soil, it can grow and produce something beautiful. Weeds may grow and try to choke out the flower or the plant, but the plant is strong enough to withstand and there is more than one GARDENER, who is doing the dirty work of pulling out the weeds by the root.

It is a beautiful parable when you consider its meaning in a parable about the U.S. system.

I wish and hope for more people to have the courage to speak up. Get protection and keep your identity private if you must, but don't allow anyone to take advantage of their power and position, for any rreason, not even if you THINK maybe this or that person is "wrong" or a "terrorist" or "mentally ill" or "probably did OTHER THINGS." People deserve respect, no matter who they are. You fight fair and fair is fair, period, whether you have money or not. Rich people shouldn't be targeted anymore than the poor, and the poor should not be railroaded as others stand by and do nothing.

There are two problems in the U.S., or three, which must be corrected:

1. Summary Judgment should be scaled back or abolished and the right to jury has to be restored, as well as the right to proper defense.

2. Civil rights actions should not be difficult for the poor to bring forward. People have to PAY a lawyer to fight for their civil rights and the only ones who can afford this are the rich, so guess who gets screwed?

3. Reasonable and competent defense, and the responsibility of the prosecution and judges to play by the rules, must be ENFORCED. It is already out of control, but one person can make a difference.

You can make a difference. You just haven't summoned the courage yet to try, and it's okay to need time to find the safest way to do it. Right now, being a whistleblower is dangerous and people need witness protection and all kinds of things. But hopefully more laws will be passed to protect these individuals, ALL CITIZENS, against retailiation for whistleblowing and the system can be repaired.

There are gardeners out there, but they are few and far between. The garden is overgrown with weeds.

Hola mi amigos hispanicos. I think of you and of other minorities when I write this. I am with you.

Mama said...

oh, and about your question about my family, they are clueless.

i could have been born on the moon for all the things i have in common with my family. they're not street smart or politically savvy in any way, and they don't understand even how rules were broken.

they are as interested, as others i've made reports against, in trying to make themselves sound better than they are by pinning me with a mental health problem.

my family did NOT want me to keep my son to begin with and they backed out on promises, which i've posted online, which prove i do misunderstand things and that i simply have unreliable "family". i don't consider my family to even BE family. my son is my only family. my family doesn't behave in a way that i expect of families and they are as consummed with greed and their own self interest as the next person.

they say i'm generous and know this, and know how i give when i can, but do nothing for me; they say they know i'm an excellent mother but do nothing to pay for the private attorney they promised to pay for.

all they want, is the same thing everyone else wants--an alibi.

if my own family can excuse my problems with the bairds and them and others as being the result of mental illness, it works for them. my own mother is a liar and KNOWS that I know she's lied to everyone about some of the horrible things she's said to me and written to me.

my father has an ego that cannot withstand insult as well, even when it has to do with the fact that he betrayed his own daughter over MONEY and the hope that something will "explain" why i am the way i am, which he cannot accept.

i swear, i am a feminist, and i am an activist and i don't go to church all the time like i used to. people change. i haven't changed much from who i was when i was a little girl, it's just that society and others pushed me down and tried to repress me and i finally found the strength to fight for my own fucking voice.

that voice is one which will and has reported wrongdoing, regardless of position and power, and i have made enemies because of it.

my son has nothing to do with any of this. he has been used as a bribe and bargaining chip to get to me, nothing more.

i do not accept this and no one should.