The Nigerian House Mistress Meltdown

My God I now feel a little bit sorry for some of the people of Nigeria. I'll have to find out what this woman does, but now I know why her son had a dour look on his face, expecting her return. She treats him, and talks to him, like he's 16 years old, telling him he needs a girlfriend, but not one that's "Fat" (nixing last lover) and a bunch of other rubbish. Some of her advice was normal motherly advice, but she just went overboard and a lot of her ideas were based on assumptions and prejudice. I am surprised because she's the one with the Down's Syndrome son and she was rather harsh with him the other day, hitting him when he didn't want to get up to eat soup because he'd eaten my entire pizza (which I bought) instead. He cringed away from her, towards me, and she started yelling and then backed off because I was new and sitting there watching. The Down's guy, Chuck, is only 20 and is about 3-4 years old mentally.

And then there's Jeff, the CIA man. I am having second thoughts about him. I have see his strengths and weaknesses at this point. His strengths are that he's generally easy-going and quiet, and he acts like he likes you and everyone else. But clearly, he's a company man type that just says yes and no to his own benefit. My friend who brought me home the other day, laughed and said, "Are you sure they're CIA?" and cracked up because the place is a total pigstyle with a rat infection problem. I ignore it with my pain pills and only ended up here as a temp because of the painful pregnancy and losing my job at that time and having found no heartbeat.

I told the guy, yes, there are some CIA here, but he's just a guard and he only gets paid something like $19-20/hr. He's a basic guard, without a gun and applying to get his gun. I would say he seems level headed enough to carry a gun, but now I don't know. I think there's another side to him. He spends every single moment of his waking day, besides playing violent videogames. Both of these guys do. They work and then they never go out, playing games for hours and hours and forgetting to even eat. SO not much social life, but that's probably fine I thought. Some people are just gamers.

There are some crazy ironies in this house though. The guy who's CIA is a total gamer and lives in this house with rats, gaming all hours of the night, and the Nigerian mother "politician", spends, her son told me, over $575 to get her hair done. That's just her hair. The rest of her clothing is normal, and sort of cheap, and cheap materials, but she spends THAT on a hair-do, and then gets her nails done besides.

Okay, so his mother is going on and on about how her son needs a girlfriend, not the "fatty" he was with. Then I say I'm going to a lawyers office (for something totally separate having nothing to do with her) and she gets all suspicious that I'm going to a lawyer to report her for telling me to leave, and she says I have to be out "by tonight". She made a big point of saying this was HER house and her son was wrong to let me stay here, like that's the excuse, in the subletting glitch.

I've been paying for all my own food and cleaning stuff around here (despite) but I was TOLD I had a couple of months to get my things together and now I'm suddenly being thrown out with zero notice. I am pretty sure her son helps with the house affairs because he takes care of everything while she's in Nigeria and collects rent and stuff, but she kept wanting to say her 24 year old is a "dependent". She seriuosly treats him like one.

I could have given him a pep talk with a totally different tone, and spurred him on to better things, but she was talking to him like she was addressing the women's league of indigents. I have no idea what she does in Nigeria, but she's very suspicious. I very nicely tried to reassure her I was NOT going to the lawyer because of HER but because of another matter, but by then she couldn't stand to be molified with any "correction".

At any rate, I have stayed with people before, and had roommates and paid or not paid rent, and I've had some perfect experiences and never written about them. Willy was one of them, the Navy guy. He was a perfect gentleman and upfront from the get-go. THIS one, fell apart I think when I didn't "fall" in love with this guy and present myself as a girlfriend, which his mother wants him to move in for himself. Right after she yelled at him for having an "angular face" and sunken in eyes, and telling him I was not "right" for him and how could I be when I was 10 years older. Which is ridiculous because I wasn't going for him as my prizemeat anyway.

I feel sort of bad for the fattie AB was screwing now. She really liked him and he spent HOURS talking to her on the phone to coax her over and screw her and the mother comes over and just AXES the hell out of it. She was totally directing what kind of girlfriend he could have. I wonder how many people have parents like that. I may have been pushed to marry, but it was dropped at that. I was given a hunter's instruction manual on who or what type of person would be "acceptable". This guys' mother is a social climber and trying hard, but after she kicked me out without further ado, I told her she was wrong about her assumptions and directive to her son to never "help" people out.

I told her, you never know who you are assisting, and even if you think they're nobody and will not benefit you, you never know how things can turn around and that very person will later be in a position to help YOU. I told her that I had met HER son, by BUYING HIM DINNER, from my own pocket, when I still had my job, out of appreciation for his help at Radio Shack and because he looked hungry. So, I told her, I'm not just a taker, and I give to people when I'm able to and have been paying for my own things since I've been here, with medical problems and trying to get on my feet.

She just looked at me and continued to tell her son not to help other people because it was pointless. It is true, many or most of the people I've helped in my life, never repaid me in any way, but I have one faith, and even when I see moral depravity, I believe in being not just charitable, but generous. There is "charity" and then there is giving out of a giving heart, just to do something nice, and I don't think it backfires. If there's never a return, there's never a return, but it enforces to oneself who YOU are, and what kind of person or material YOU'RE made out of.

I wanted to kindly speak with her and let her know what I'm really about but she had her mind made up for her, without even asking the person who could tell her best.

I guess I have concerns about that kind of person, because that kind of me-me attitude is exactly what gets people into their moral ruts to begin with.

The other guy who was and is applying to the CIA, is applying for a very basic guard position. He's the one who moved out. He seemed a little smarter than some of the others but I don't really know what he was about. I think there's some dark and light to him. As for Jeff, I'm a little disappointed that he seems to be the passive-aggressive type. AB, the son, I really think is the lightest of them all. He has his own agendas and trips, but he actually has a decent heart that should be guided by someone other than his mother. He is getting totally mixed up advice from her.

For one thing, as a mother, I think a primary job is to let your kids fly free but help them to see realistically what they excel in or not. This guy has been getting a degree in video animation and I think it's a waste. He's not artistically talented. He can sort of draw, but doesn't have the gift, and all this time is just down the drain for him in my opinion. HE loves playing video fighter games and could be good a job incorporating some things but when he told me "I'm an artist" and I then saw his work I said to myself, "He's not an artist". You either have it or you don't. It can be improved upon, but you have a eye and a gift, or not. So he's doing this and what he calls his "business", selling legal aid stuff to people. He's very good at sales but is limiting himself to this thing he calls "my business"--it's like one of those pyramid deals where everyone calls it "my business" but it's not really entreuprenurial but makes people feel like it is somehow.

Well, I have to make some calls.

I don't think Jeff or AB are the brighest bombs in the bushes, but can Jeff carry a gun and keep his mouth shut? Yes. Jeff would carry a gun but he would also take instructions without questioning (mabye that's what the CIA wants) and he would turn on you, if it was convenient for him to agree with someone else. He's a people pleaser. Otherwise, on the outside, a nice guy. The other one I don't know as much about, but I think he's the smartest of the group. The one applying for a position, even if his cousin is abusive and has hit a 17 year old underaged girlfriend who used to live here. I told him if he ever did it again, I would report him, and after that, all the guys started talking about when I was leaving and putting it all on this "mother". This girl was living with her parents who abused her and flew out to be with this guy, who just completes the abusive pattern and at first I just saw fighting. THEN, this guy WENT after her and kicked her and she cried out and was crying. Jeff got up and knew, and just said, "why do you have to do that?" over and over and went back to his video game. I listened in some more, and when she said, "Yes you DID! I can still feel it and it's right here," I went in and said in a firm angry one, "If you EVER touch her again, I will report you so fast." And she was looking at me with hope in her eyes, and I said, to him that he needed to go into counseling to control his anger and fight whatever generational abuse he'd been subjected to. Then I pointed to her and said she might need counseling to, because she was going to be vulnerable to abuse since she would tend to draw these types of people because it was what she knew and grew up with. She nodded. Shortly after that, they moved out, and then this mother came back about a week ago.

Jeff didn't do anything though. In fact, this guy was pissed at me for saying I'd report him, and kept looking to his buddies for help. But none of them told him they'd report him, or got in the middle or anything. So that's another concern. These guys have been friends since high school, all of them.

I think they are stand up guys when they want to be, and when it's less convenient, they stay seated.

UPDATE: I found out who she is and I called the police about my rights. Thankfully, I talked to several officers and those specializing in landlord-tenant law and they all said no matter what, she had to give me a 30 day written notice, since I'd been living there over 30 days. I'm starting to wonder why some of my mail is, because I've received confirmation from several organizations, that they were actually trying to mail me things to my correct address, and yet I've not received them. So I'll have to check with the upstairs people, because it's a split house.

And I found out how she is involved as a "politician". She's in the Nigerian police force.

Seriously. She is the Hon. Chief Dr. Caro Nwosu, Chairman PCRC Asokoro, Abuja. That's in Nigeria. I found out "PCRC" stands for "Police Community Relations Committee."

I don't know how to tell her about the notice but want to tell her right away so she can get it "going", or at least I'd honor it, but for her own peace of mind, want her to get it documented. If I can move out sooner, I will, but it is important for me to have this 30 days, especially because I do NOT feel very good. I am not lying about that. Her son was afraid for me and said if she comes back maybe not say everything the police told me because she would flip out. He said maybe just ask her for a couple days or tell her I'm getting things together, and I would, to ease her mind, but I sort of think I need to let her know her our joint right to 30 day notice, for her protection and my own. I actually hope I just don't have to even see her tonight. I asked AB if he'd give her a forewarning but I hope she just decides to come by some other time, and I'll count any 30 day notice as being from this night forward, even documented it on my blog.