Monday, January 5, 2009

Loyalty to Another Country Who Will Provide Financial Help

I can say I've exhausted all remedies. I have to write the OIG complaint, but other than that, I've gone to great lengths to get help.

No one from the ADA or WSB has called me.

No one from Douglas County has mailed me the motions and orders I requested, and have a right to, to know what's going on from the last hearing.

No one has corrected the aggregious actions by the Judge, of hanging up on me and not giving me notice (sufficient) to be PRO SE.

Jeanne Wellbaum has still refused to give me a copy of my case file.

The CDs I requested and paid for, have not arrived, and the radiology films I signed a release form have not arrived.

I have found out I have only a week or so to have 'services' completed, says my mother, or they will terminate my rights. Even after I spent the last three months trying to get services while they ignored me and stalled intentionally, and while I am still sick from the miscarriage. I am almost out of pain killers and I'm still having problems and constant headache like tension headache (not migraine). I feel weak and sick.

I have proof that the FBI cannot hold it's own people accountable, and that more than one person from that agency has intended to harm me and cover up what was done by Bujanda and Garza. Not to mention the NY guys who deliberately attempted to harass me.

I have been falsely arrested and profiled, and have received death threats which were never investigated properly, even in D.C.

I have more than enough grounds for political asylum, and there are a lot of people who do believe my claims about the hacking and harm from a magnetic pulse. The people I angered had enough to lose that they would go to these extremes. Then, I have medical records which are altered and screwed up ever since I reported the FBI guys, when there was nothing wrong with them before.

I have repeatedly, over and over, asked for someone to investigate and hold these people accountable. Anyone can obtain the CDs from the dependency hearing at least, and the radiology films which were missing from evidence, and put 2 and 2 together. Anyone can see how many laws have been broken and how my rights have been violated.

I have done my best to preserve my good name and to keep my son safe, and my own family has been warped through hyper-religious zeal to think this is all about my son going to hell or not. They never wanted me to be a single mother, and backed out on their promises to me, and don't care what happens now. As long as it doesn't cost them anything, they don't care what happens.

At this point, I will make last ditch efforts to get financial support from people I barely know, whose cards were handed to me and who probably don't even remember me. I met some journalists that I want to talk to, specifically, one in mind who has a son, who I won't describe further here. I lost my job when the pregnancy pain was so bad I couldn't work the same, and haven't had an income and I don't have enough money to get by. I don't believe this is my fault. I should not have to go through these things, because the FBI and some members of the Catholic church and state, want to slam me with a mental illness diagnosis for their alibi. They have obstructed justice and done it under color of law and they know I have no way to hold them accountable without money.

I am now absolutely falling on the mercies of those from another country. I am going to plead with some people here, locally, to help me in the short term, and I am going to another country to let them know I will sign my life and services away, in return for financial support to pay to get my son back and clear my name. I will offer myself to be a member of whichever country offers to help me clear things up, financially, so I can get my son.

I was willing to make a contract with my own blood family, and I was true to my word. I am a woman of my word, and I don't make promises I can't keep. I at least try my best to be faithful to my oaths. I never backed out on the agreement between my family--they backed out. But I am hoping another country will see that I am sincere and that I don't make such promises lightly.

If there is a country that will help me get my son back by providing me with enough money to fight this case, get a fair hearing and evaluation, and medical diagnostics I need; and if this country is willing to assist me to get back on my feet while I'm still recovering from this miscarriage and the trauma that's been done to me, I will help them.

I have my ID to get a passport and someone may be able to help me with this. If there is a country that will, for some reason, take heart, and put out their hands for me and my son, I will do my best to get him back in a show-down here in the U.S. and then I will take him with me to this other country. I will become a loyal citizen of that country, and I will even sign up for military service.

I have done everything in my power, as a citizen of this country, to find justice and even simple obedience to the law and it's corrupt. I have been punished and retatliated against, for speaking out about things which the public should know about, and I have become a victim in need of political asylum, as I asked over and over for protection and help, and no one in this country, has done anything about it.

I am ready to sign off on any and all papers, and my goal, would be to get help to get my son back, if a country will help me, and then write books about what has happened, and other materials. I can also sing and do other jobs, but I think my new country will be most proud of what I write, in the end, and I have ideas for books of fiction and non-fiction, and want the proceeds to benefit me and my son and the new economy I live in.

I will pay back, 10 fold, by the grace of God, whichever country it is, that extends their hand to help me get my son. It will be expensive, but I will pay it back. I intend to make this country proud, that will give me the opportunity to force my own country to treat me as a citizen, and if I am able to go to law school later, to help others, I will. I would go back to the U.S. at some point, to work within the system, but only to expose corruption and clean it up, and I would work on the behalf of people who are not U.S. citizens.

U.S. citizens and this government, has done nothing except harm to me and my son, and they stand idly, with their hands slack at their sides, hoping to see me fall and never rise again, and to lose my only son.

I am praying that there is a country out there, I am begging God, that will have mercy on me and my son, and will believe me and strengthen my hands by loaning me the money and legal assistance I need, to win this last legal matter before leaving the country.

Maybe I reach too high. I may be wrong to think anyone would, or could help. But I pray to God, that someone will not hold whatever they think my religion is, against me, and that they only see me as someone who has been bullied, who wants to help other people, but who now needs help herself.

If there is even one person, from another country, who will stand up to help me and my son, and act as my representative or sponsor or donor, I will be more than happy to vow my allegiance to the country they are from. Once I make up my mind, there is no going back. My family knows this. I may go back and forth about little things, but not big things. I weigh big decisions carefully, and I am already decided in my heart, and know that I am able to give my full loyalty to another country and the people in that country. What I would then like to do there, is promote the country and it's people, and write about the good things about the country, including writing colorful and funny vignettes, and in the meantime, continue assembling a book about what happened to me in the U.S. and who was responsible, and how this country failed to uphold it's own promise to me, the constitutional promises and rights that I was supposedly guaranteed by my birth. I want to write an analysis of the U.S. and what is leading to its downfall, and I want to expose the corruption beneath the surface and who is gaining power in this country as the rest of the nation sleeps. I also have plenty to write about, regarding discoveries I made about the Catholic church, which I've not written about yet, but have been persecuted for. I want to uncover what happened to Princess Diana and clear her name entirely, from allegations that are unfair regarding paranoia. And I want to write small poems and stories about animals and maybe a play, on the side. I wouldn't mind singing either, and I've still got a good voice.

I have a lot to offer, and it is more than this country can handle. This country isn't strong enough to "be my man". This country wants more of Reba McIntyre and less Dixie Chicks, more of Kim Kardashian and less Cindy Sheehan, and more reality t.v. and less reality in real life.

Obama is the best choice and I think his family has their hearts in the right place. But they are going to be impeded from every side. You cannot change a country with one man, you have to change it by force, through revolution and the efforts of MANY, and the elite of the plutocracy will not allow this to happen without putting thousands in jail, wrongfully, first.

They put the best voices in prison, don't they? Some of the brightest and best voices for America get rap sheets and have their votes taken away, and then get assassinated.

It has been 10 years that I've asked for help and for people to abide by the laws, in this country. I have not used any political connections or any kind of advantage. I relied only on what is written, and the contracts and promises made to ME, and handed to me, along with my birth certificate, as a part of my birthright. It doesn't mean anything though. What I have seen, is unbelievable. They don't want others to believe me so they say I'm mentally ill. Everything I've said has happened, really happened. I DID react, in distress at different points, and that is clear, but what they still try to conceal, is the illegal and concerted efforts against me to bring me down and keep me down.

If no one can reverse this or stand up for me when they take my son under illegal pretense, to punish me, when I KNEW this was what would happen next, and wrote to even other intelligence agencies about it, begging for help...if no one was willing to help me then, there is no hope.

I keep waiting, and hoping, and praying, and looking around, and I have asked, and I've gone door to door, and taken cards and numbers, and managed to get into secured sites and talk to important people. But not ONE person cares what happens to me or my son.

These people knew what I cared about. It wasn't a career, or money, or fame, or material things. Christa asked me over and over what mattered to me and I told her I only cared about having a "good name" because that is something I worked at. I was an honest, law-abiding person, and I was sincere and wanted people to know they could trust me. I cared about my reputation, but that was it. I didn't have to have anything else in the world. The Abbey monks went after me, threatening to tarnish and drag my "good name" through the mud, which they did, and they got government help to do it. They knew that aside from my reputation, all I cared about was my son. I have never been "in love". I have had multiple life-threatening injuries, I have survived being held hostage and not suffered from "mental illness" from a number of tragedies. I don't have a house, or much food, or the clothes I would choose to wear if I had the money. But I had my son, and they knew the only things I cared about were my reputation and my son.

I tried to find a "sugar daddy", even, just to get financial support for paying for a private attorney for my son. I went on the dates and emailed, and I had some options. I had one clear-cut choice and this man was willing to pay for everything, but when it came down to it, I couldn't lie to HIM or myself. I could not go through with being intimate with him, knowing if I did such a thing, it would be damaging in the long-run rather than helpful because while I might have money for a lawyer to get my son, I would have lost my self-respect.

Pledging my allegiance to another country is different. I have already bent over backwards, as a law-abiding citizen, trying to follow the rules and watching others win, as they break the law and harass me and try to pigeon-hole me so they can get away without accountability. They have all used "mental illness" as their alibi and worked at this for years, trying to bring in others to corroborate with them to seal it tight, knowing it isn't true, knowing people might believe me because I DO have a history of being honest, even if it hurts myself. I would choose to tell the world marijuana works for prevention of migraine, knowing this hurts ME, but I would choose to tell the world, because I CARE about OTHER people and I believe in the truth. How is it possible for me to be selfish and keep this information to myself, when I know how painful and destructive migraines are, and when I know of a cure? Even if it hurts me, I have consistently chosen to do what I believe is in the best interest of the public.

I am willing to take a lot of flack, and to be mocked and ridiculed, and lied about even. But just because I'm willing to put my neck out there for others, doesn't mean I'm a martyr waiting for death row. I expect someone out there, to do the SAME for me and my son. I expect, that in return for my willingness to be public about things which have been harmful to me which I hope others can learn from, someone out there, is going to reward me for this. I used to think it would be someone from my country, who knows how I've been bullied and sees how the laws have all been ignored in my case.

I know this isn't true. No one from my country is going to help me or my son. I said I would get out of this mess myself, but I have done enough. I have crossed the t's and dotted the i's and done everything I could, within my power and with the energy and strength I have left, to fight for my rights and for my son.

No one is going to help me from the U.S. My own family is a typical U.S. product, and while claiming christianity on one hand, cannot even keep a vow they made to their daughter on the other. This is hypocrisy.

Yes, other countries have corruption and they have problems. But what is different about the United States, is that they claim, "WE are NUMBER ONE." They claim to be the safest country, and the one with the most respect for civil rights, and yet for 10 years I've seen what has been allowed to be done to me, and then my son. This country is trying to balance superiority and hypocrisy at the same time, and the more they feel threatened, the more they will allow the rules to be broken, hoping no one will notice. To stay ahead, they will break the laws and do unethical things, and do fraudulent transactions with real-world money. To keep up the facade, the lies multiply and then bailout bandages are stuck over the gaping wound. This country is bleeding more than money. It has lost it's ability to keep order and hold people accountable when the laws are broken. This is a ship without any rudder, spinning around in a sea, and the elite don't care, because they can afford the lifeboats for their own rescue.

Other countries have crime and corruption. But it's open and known. This country has criminals within the government who only conceal it better. And yet, you look at what's happened to me, and I've put it all in the open, and any number of persons could come to me and check the evidence and find out if what I say is true, and no one does.

It is not that people are ignorant and don't know what they've done is illegal, with regard lately to my son--it's that they are fully aware they are breaking the laws, and yet they feel so secure in their support and are so aware of who my enemies are, they are not concerned, in the least, of being held accountable.

They took my son without cause, and slandered me in my own medical records, and the FBI deliberately obstructed justice and caused problems for me no matter what state I went to, and I've been profiled by police and JAILED for things I didn't do. The FBI refused to investigate crime by Judges, when I reported it and there was evidence, and just sat around. I know the father of my last baby had something to do with either the FBI or the catholic church, because of comments he made to me, which I believe were made to trip me out, because he knew I would know the significance. He also kept my mail from me when I kept asking for it. Somehow, Chris Dabney was involved in keeping me from getting justice and staying ahead of the dependency. He either sought me out, intentionally, or found out about me and was asked to do some things for others. I'm sure someone knows what the truth is and could prove it through records.

I want to see the contract, given to me by another country, and I will sign it. In return for helping me win my son back and clearing my name, I will sign up to serve in the military of another country, if needed, and if this is not required or desired, I will sign for my loyalty and will make it my goal to support the objectives of my new country and family, and to promote them and their causes and virtues worldwide.

I want to contribute to making an economy rich and making its people rich and known, and I know that I am able to use my talents to helping them and to being a part of the morale of the country. I want to do this for more than one country, as I am internationally minded, and people are people anywhere you go. But, if a country will help me with this legal matter involving my son, I will bend over backwards to show my gratitude for the rest of my life.

This country has done nothing but hurt me and my son, and made me a scapegoat for the failures of criminals who cloak themselves with government titles and positions.

Give me a chance to win this, and to take back what they've stolen from me, on my terms, and you will be in for a big surprise. You will see what I am capable of, when I am passionate enough and my faith is restored enough for me to be inspired. You will see, once again, why it is I am such a threat to so many people in the U.S. and why they want to keep me down and make excuses for their behavior.

I now have over 15 clients for my business, and I've been too sick to look for work for them. But I work for the people, and I know how to organize and encourage people, and wherever it is that I end up, I am going to be a tremendous asset to the lives of others and to a country. It will not be my motive to criticize the government that helps return to me my son, my enemies have already defined themselves and it is they I will write about. I do not bite the hand that feeds me, or frees me.

Give me the money and financial support I need, to fight this system and get back my son, and clear my name, and I will work for you in a way you never thought possible. Give me your support and your faith, to invest in me for something so important to me, and your name will be etched on my heart and carved into my skin. I will never, ever, forget the person or people, or the country, that decides to help me at the last minute.

I can do great things, and I am confident there are great things in store, but I need your support and an opportunity to fight and get things straightened out. I would never desert or abandon you after getting what I want, and I will not change my mind. My loyalty runs very deep. I have been loyal to the U.S. even as I have been harmed by people it puts into positions of power, who abused me, harassed me, and attempted to destroy me. I cannot be "bought", but because I have seen with my own eyes, how this country and all its agencies and officials stood by and DID NOTHING, and refused me even a CHANCE of defending myself even pro se, because of all the things I've been through and seen, my loyalty has been broken down as I am continually harassed and provoked by people in this government. Not everyone is "bad", but the ones who even claim to be "good", stand by and do nothing. If I and my son are not important enough, after what we've been through, and all the attempts I've made, I have to face up to the fact that this country isn't good enough for us.

I live, right now, with one roommate who is a guard for the CIA, which I've mentioned, but that doesn't mean anything. He's just a guard and he gets paid hardly anything and doesn't do anything secret. I don't care what anyone in this country does--what I know is that many people have had close proximity to me, to offer immediate assistance, and no one has done anything.

I want my son back, and my own blood family cannot keep their promises. They break their vows that they made to their only daughter, for something this important, knowing how important my son is to me. It was a sad day when I needed a blood transfusion and thought I might die, and I didn't know if my parents would call me back. My mother did, and she "prayed" for me in the same idle way she claims her prayers are sufficient and that it's okay to back out on promises for real financial help, and then she argued with me, naively claiming the state was trying to help me. She didn't even know what half of it means, and admitted this, when I told her over the phone. She chooses to believe what she's told, like most Americans, who blindly follow their leaders over a cliff. My mother was so determined to be "right", she was yelling over me, as I was sick and had fever, and then telling me how people in her family could adopt my son but if I went back to Wenatchee, and allowed Wenatchee to diagnose me, I'd get him back. She knows I would not get my son back and I've talked to plenty of lawyers who say I will not, unless I have a private attorney who will challenge them on how they disregarded my rights and didn't follow rules of procedure. There are too many people, who are happy about what has happened, who wanted to punish me and make me suffer for reporting them. All they want is a stamp of mental illness and they're done with me, and will claim every report and complaint I ever made isn't to be believed because I'm "paranoid" and "delusional". They will find a way, one way or the other, to keep my son from me, and at the very least, to only give him to me after they've completely trashed my reputation beyond repair, to conceal their actions.

Because of what I have seen, at low and high levels of government, from certain religious nuts, to those who are jealous and secular and want to conceal their part in obstructing justice, I am absolutely done with the U.S.

I did my best, in the last 10 years, to go through every proper channel, and every single avenue and road was purposefully blocked to me. I have not been safe, and I asked for protection. I was told to go into "hiding" but you cannot "hide" with a social security number. I refused to have a social security number assigned to my son, and this government lied to me and went against my wishes, and did not redact it as they promised to do, and as I requested. I was forced, by threats, to take an identification number for my son. Then they went after my son, after I was getting further warnings my life was in danger.

The people who have hated me, who I reported, went after me for being a whistleblower, and they have not quit. These people have used their connections in the government to do this and I've constantly been approached and surrounded by people involved, who try to conceal their intentions from me. The rest of them are either too afraid to try to help me, or just incredulous and think it's not possible. Some people, I do believe, are truly and honestly snowed and think what is said about me must be true, that I am the problem and that the things I've reported are too far out there to be believed. I am not safe, and neither is my son, and I will NOT live in this country without full guardianship of my son.

I am still writing, writing, rambling on, I know, but only writing in desperation and to affirm I am willing to do whatever it takes, to serve another country, if they will help me get my son back.

I am not an enemy to the Catholic church, or members, but my problems began with them. It is not something I chose. It happened. All about the same time, I reported the Thebaults for tax fraud, the Abbey for misconduct, and a Jewish family for telling me to file self-employed when I wasn't (something my own mother would do to me, but I'd had it and wasn't going to put up with it). I was then followed, had many car vandalisms, Christa Schneider introduced herself to me and I later found out she was an informant for the Abbey lawyers about everything and her father had been an employee of the Dept. of Justice, and I had many break-ins. The harassment and vandalisms increased in severity until I filed the lawsuits against the Abbey and the WW for defaming me. All of a sudden, the stalking totally died down. I also felt I was better protected because I had put the information into the public record, of what was being done to me. Things abated TREMENDOUSLY after I filed these suits. But after the FBI employees sexually assaulted me and lied, claiming they were recruiting me to work for the FBI, everything picked up again and got even worse and I moved, because I was afraid, and everything that happened in Oregon, followed me to Washington and began happening there. The FBI and people with the Catholic church lawyers knew where I was moving to, 6 months ahead of time, and knew I planned to get a new start, and prove the slander wrong. So the next thing that happened, is specific people began planting totally crazy information about me that wasn't true, and started gossip against me to influence how I was received by the community. My medical records, which first disappeared and were stolen in Oregon, and which were clean, were tampered with first. As soon as I got to Wenatchee, certain doctors began writing crazy things into my chart and I asked they remove this slander and they refused. They claimed I was drug seeking and I wasn't and I said I could sue for this because I'd never been drug seeking, and I'd never claimed to have been "raped by the FBI" and next thing that happened, is a lab came back saying I was positive for THC when I'd never taken marijuana in my life, or been around it. It was put there on purpose, and no one told me about it, so there was no way for me to challenge the record. I knew they would go after my child, after I became pregnant, because they went after what they thought would hurt me most, and they started working on that, slowly trying to build a case against me in retaliation, and when they got far enough, they felt their work was done. Dr. Parnell said "we're done with you" and Christa Schneider suddenly felt free to reveal all the nasty things she'd done against me, secure in the idea that enough people thought I was mentally ill, no one would believe me. She asked me how I least wanted to die and when I said torture would be worst, and if anything happened to my son, I would lose it, and then the next thing that happened was my son and I were tortured, but no one believed me, and those behind it knew they had this covered, because they'd already built up their theory I was mentally ill. After I told Schneider some psych. said I should be locked up in a psych ward and evaluated (mainly to see what her response was) she acted elated and wanted all the info, and the rest happened after this. There was a roommate of Christa's, Annika, who may have been in on things in the beginning, but when I told her how my tires were being slashed and things were happening to my property, she got scared and told me to stay away from Christa, telling me "she's psycho. Stay aware from her." Annika was totally serious but I blew it off.

Every single report I made, was discounted.

I cannot trust police in the U.S., even though I know there are some good ones, nor can I trust military or intelligence, when I know whatever was used to harm me and my son had to have been obtained through either the military or intelligence. I believe there is intelligence that knows what happened to me and my son, and that they refuse to release this information and are content to allow me to lose my son, while they know I'm telling the truth. I can't imagine how refusing to reveal this would be a matter of "national security" but these same agencies hold records of all kinds of things under such pretenses. I don't know know this for certain, that someone knows what happened, but at one point, I had someone ask me what I wanted if someone were to come forward and clear my name. The man to ask me this, was an Irish priest, who, I believe, has some kind of information. He approached me in the pub where I was working and later, I got a death threat from another guy while this priest was still in the pub watching my reaction as I read the note, and a military guy was watching me in the corner.

Even if someone in this country, in intelligence, had information that would clear me, I don't believe they would stand up for me. The FBI chose to let me be slandered over things such as whether I had anything to do with any of their employees. I was written up, by Dr. Parnell, as being delusional, because he thought I had nothing to do with the FBI. The FBI knew very well, what happened with me, and they had enough evidence to confirm my story. I reported the incident immediately and the waitress would have remembered, and these guys filled out applications to go to the Playboy mansion which I wouldn't have known about if I wasn't sitting there witnessing this. There was also credit card evidence which showed how many drinks and rounds of tequilla were ordered, which would approximate how much I'd had to drink. The FBI threatened me not to talk about it, and also used leading questions to try to claim I hadn't been harassed or assaulted. Then they buried this and wouldn't return my calls. No one ever would have known they interviewed me if my roommate hadn't come home unexpectedly from work. The FBI could have claimed everything was a figment of my imagination. Then, they and the Dept. of Justice agreed the FBI should handle this on their own, and not involve outside parties, or the police to press charges. After Sgt. Austria refused to press charges, and wrote his own statement when I told him I wanted to write the statemen, he was immediately rewarded with a promotion and raise.

After I found out what they'd done was obstruction of justice, the magnetic pulse stuff began and my son and I were affected by it for several months and still have damages from it.

They are confident this just sounds "crazy" and that no one will believe me, and yet, some are still worried, or they wouldn't still be harassing me and withholding evidence. They went after my son and then used every means available to deprive me of getting ahold of records I would need to even TRY to defend myself.

I sent multiple FOIA requests to the FBI before my son and I were harmed. I sent at least 10 requests by mail and some by email, but the ones by fax or mail, were done correctly. Many of these requests were ignored outright and I never got a response. Then, right as I was on the phone with a reporter with a newspaper, talking about my attempts, suddenly, I got a response and excuses. I started to get responses but they always purposefully, the FBI, screwed up information. They would send a reply back to: Mr. Cameo Garrett and claim there were no records for a Mr. Cameo Garrett. So they'd use a different gender which would screw up a search. Then I'd get a reply to: Ms. Cami O'Garrett or something like that, where it was the wrong name, and then I"d get a reply for the wrong birthdate, and just a bunch of errors for excuses for not finding records. Then, all requests were to be directed to Washington D.C. and no other field office. Still, no response.

I was in the middle of finding a good OIG contact, and getting ahold of any criminal database or civil records on me, and I was pushing to obtain records from Portland Police about my statement, when all the magnetic pulse things happened. I had talked to a FBI field office guy from the midwest who said everything sounded fishy and bizarre and he wanted me to fax everything I had to him. I told Christa and she wanted to know exactly who it was and what state. I wouldn't tell her. The next time I tried to find him, he'd been fired. But he had been one person who was going to investigate himself, and he said it was odd I kept getting put to people who were Catholic, specifically, in the OIG local division (in CA) and also in FBI and police departments.

At any rate, I did a lot of work, to uncover corruption and hold people accountable, and those people wanted to punish me. Wenatchee has always felt secure, in robbing me of my son and disobeying the law, because they know even the FBI has worked against me. They figure no one is going to hold them accountable, when they are the state and they've also got some people in intelligence on their side, who hate me. They have never once been worried, even when half of the things they've done, have been done in the open.

There are country's who are too concerned about being buddies with the U.S. government, to help someone like me. If they think the U.S. government has people who hate me and that I'm being targeted, they will not assist me because I'm only one person and they care more about the larger picture and the deals they make with the U.S. Most countries even claim it is impossible for anyone to need "political asylum" from the U.S. because they label it as a "white" country, claiming there isn't a record of human rights abuses. The idea is that the U.S. doesn't have corruption that goes unchecked, and that free speech is guaranteed and people are not retaliated against for being whistleblowers. There are a few other country's however, that know the U.S. is not as squeaky clean as they present, and that the corruption is merely well-disguised and hidden. These country's know that while the U.S. can be respected for doing some great things, certain groups control the country, and if anyone in such a group wants to be a bully, there is no accountability. Other country's are aware that there are bullies in the U.S., who use the U.S. name and status to effect changes that will benefit them and which are very harmful to others.

I do not know who has been behind what's been done to me and my son. I have ideas, and I know when my problems began, but I don't know all the names or the entire scope. I don't know if those doing the magnetic pulse damages are different from the others who did other damages and slandered me. I don't know. What I do know, is that people mixed their religious zealousness with their secular positions in government and state positions. I know I've been lied about. And, I know I went to great lengths, asking for help from people in the U.S., in the middle of all kinds of VISIBLE vandalisms, and while a few police and intelligence told me to "be quiet" and quit doing researching and told me to "go into hiding", no one offered protection or investigated my claims.

People in the U.S. stood by, as my son was wrongfully taken from me, and stand by still, when I've reported what's happened and anyone who cared, could confirm what I say by getting copies of the record.

I have had reactions, after being provoked and harassed incessantly, and traumatized, that appear to be mental illness. These are in the responses I make, in writing, where I blend sarcasm with anger and humor and threats. I basically vent, and it looks nuts. And I try to figure out what's happening, and make wrong guesses. Things were really happening, but because of my wrong guesses, I don't sound credible. But all these things, point to evidence of severe emotional distress after I was very patient and polite for so long. It shows I am human, not that I am mentally ill. If I were mentally ill, I would have taken all this abuse and done nothing with it and had no reaction, or an inappropriate reaction. My reaction, and survival responses, are commensurate with what I was dragged through. It is not inappropriate, in context with the kind of stalling and harassment I was put through and the trauma of having my son taken from me when I was innocent and knowing my son and I were tortured and no one cared or did anything. My responses, after being date raped and assaulted, more than once, by people who knew eachother and who were in law enforcement and intelligence, who attempted to cover up crime, are extremely mild, and appropriate, given the trauma. I reacted by venting, and sometimes writing dramatic things, in desperation, and I mixed sarcasm and humor with very serious allegations, in my distress. This isn't evidence of paranoia or delusion or anything serious.

What has happened to me and my son is VERY serious, and yet my reactions, given the abuse and harassment, and desperation, knowing no one is helping me, are very strong. They show I "broke down" in the sense of raging and venting and not knowing what to write or how to feel, and being confused by people who pretended to care for me and then finding out they only meant me harm. This reaction is commensurate with mild PTSD, which the state and CPS and this Judge Hotchkiss knew I had already, and they manipulated and played with this, to create further distress, knowing I could not effectively help myself pro se, after they had just caused serious damages by taking my son from me. They uprooted my life, and my love, and then threw my counsel that worked for THEM, not me, and prejudiced my case, and then made me go pro se without notice, knowing I wasn't in a position to advocate for myself or stay on top of things. And then, even knowing I was this impaired, by the stress, they went even further to ensure I didn't have a chance, by withholding evidence from me, and not giving me discovery or my case file. If they have to go to these extremes, it's clear they knew they were concerned about how they'd handled this case and knew they were wrong. They played dirty, because they knew they could not play fair and still win.

I know, and they know, I cannot win or fight this, unless I have money to do it. It will cost money to even get the records I need to prove what's happened. For example, I tried to get records from the Portland Police, to see what Sgt. Austria wrote in his "statement" about the FBI employees I reported, and the Portland Police told me I couldn't have them. Then, I was told I could have them if I paid for them first. So I called the victim's advocates and said I wanted a copy of the case and file, and the victim's advocates said they'd talk to the Portland prosecuting attorney and ask about it, and when they called back, they were extremely hostile and nasty towards me, and said I would have to call later. First, they confirmed I had a right to copies of the report and the statement made (which I had said I didn't want to be made FOR me), and then they said I didn't get one. They dragged me along, promising to call back and never did, and I finally asked to speak to the head guy, Michael Shrunk, and I said I felt this was discrimination against me for a perceived disability, because they were trying to claim I had mental issues and thought they could ignore me because of it. So Mr. Schrunk emailed me back and said he'd look into it, and then I was just ignored again. I never got a copy and the victim's advocates refused to put even one single thing in the mail to me. No one had even tried to contact me, as required, when my case got to them. They told me someone else was "handling" things.

So, there are documents which I've requested, and been refused, which prevent me from proving what has really happened, and what's been covered up, in what timeframe.

I cannot get these records and evidence without financial help. I have also lost my job because of severe pain from prolapse from this last pregnancy, which is the result of damages from my last traumatic childbirth. I lost my job and then I went through this complicated miscarriage which was not "normal" and which is still not completed.

I am staying with people rent free at this time, but have had to use money for food while I'm here, and transportation. I am out of what savings I had. I refuse to go on any form of state assistance, after the way the government has treated me, and prejudiced me and interfered with my parental rights, when I went on assistance for me and my son. I feel it is unwise and dangerous to use state assistance, especially in my case, where I've already been attacked for political reasons, and had my medical care followed and tracked by anyone trying to defame me. Going on state medical care means I would be followed through my ID and people would know where I was going and would be able to interfere and prejudice my care. I will not do this. I have already suffered from damages because of the state and prejudice to my medical care and the care of my son.

I have not seen motions or orders from the last hearing, even though I have a right to them, and I told the courthouse I'd moved and had a new address and to please mail me the CDs and the last motion and order. I found out a few days ago from my mother that something has to be done in January, by a date, but I don't know what, and which date, or they will terminate my parental rights, permanently. I have, from my guesses, only about a week or so to take action to prevent this from happening, and the last few months I've been delayed by being ignored by D.C. CPS and Wenatchee CPS when I tried to get services, and also delayed by severe pain from high risk pregnancy and then a difficult miscarriage, which I'm not over with and which I'm drugged up for. I have lost a lot of time.

I need a private attorney, and it is the only way to prove I should have New Trial or Dismissal of this case. I am about to lose my son, and it is not because I haven't tried or fought hard enough. It is because the people in this country who are supposed to hold others accountable, refuse to step in, in my case. It is because no one cares what happens to me or my son and my losing my son or declared unfit while deprived of a normal defense, is satisfying to my enemies. In broad daylight, in front of everyone, they break the law and discriminate against me and my rights, and this would not be possible if this country was what it claimed to be. The proof that this country's ideologies no longer hold water, and are a sham, is the fact that all of these illegal things have happened in this case, and no one speaks out about it or tries to help me. For all of the religion in the U.S., besides, not one church has pooled their money together to help me, because most of them think I don't deserve my son anyway and that my holy-roller aunt and uncle are better parents. They are conservative and think I never should have had a child on my own.

I would have been in a financial position to help my son, if I had not been jerked around and lied about as much as I've been. The state tried to block my attempts to get SSI for medical disability for physical injuries, which would have been a way to support me and my son. They went out of their way to block this and cut off my ability to get diagnostics of injuries out of the area. Then they took my son from me, knowing this would leave me to struggle to find a place to live and food to eat, forcing me to do all these things while traumatized from what they did to me and my son. After their actions, they tried to blame ME for being "unstable" when they knew I had a need to file for medical disabilities which make it difficult for me to do regular FT work. All they wanted was a mental illness diagnosis to excuse everything they've done which I've reported, and things their friends have done. In the meantime, they keep records and evidence from me which I could use for my defense, and they have stalled and plan to keep this from me until they happily terminate my parental rights.

After going through all of this, and knowing what I know, and seeing how the FBI and Department of Justice has worked against me, and failed to hold their own accountable for crime, I know I will not get my son back. Even if I went back to Wenatchee and had their evaluation, they would give me a diagnosis to argue with, claiming I was not fit or able to be a reliable parent. They have already done illegal things, and lied, so I know this would be their next step.

They know I have a chance of getting my son back if a lawyer is involved and I have money to fight this. They know I can argue they violated several laws, and this whole things could be reviewed and overturned. But it would be an uphill battle and I am out of time.

That people in my own country would allow this to happen, and allow criminals, white collar criminals, to get away with their crime by trying to use a mental illness against me, as an alibi to their crime, is shocking to me. I think there are people who feel sorry for me, but not one person has ever offered to help me in a practical way. The only way I will get my son back, is with money. I would have thought, if this country was so righteous and all about civil rights and safety, that it wouldn't require money. I would have thought an agency, any number of agencies I've written to, would step in and intercede for me and would blow the whistle. It is possible for someone to get involved. But no one does. I've bent over backwards, and no one helps me.

How can I love a country like that? Or the citizens of such a country? I would like to help people in this country, and if I am stronger, to help others take back every single thing that's been stolen from them, but I feel I have done quite a lot to get noticed, and I have been noticed, and the response, is to turn me underfoot. I have been persecuted in the United States, intimidated, and harassed, for political and religious reasons. I and my son were in need of protection when I asked for it, and we were ignored. As a consequence, we were harmed and it seems to me that if any intelligence agency was aware or is now aware of what has happened, they conceal it and will never tell, because THEY don't want to be liable for doing NOTHING when I repeatedly asked for help. Instead of going in and cleaning up corruption, the people who have obstructed justice and harmed me, have gone on to receive job promotions, awards, raises, and other benefits.

If there is a country that will step in and fill the absolute void of my so-called citzenship to the "number 1!" country in the world, I am willing to give everything to that country, and my loyalty, in appreciation and thankfulness for their support.

My country has opressed me, made me a prisoner on false accusations, allowed a newspaper to print lies about me, slandered me to other countries including Canada, falsely accused me of misdemeanor and crime, made death threats againsts me and refused to investigate, told me to go into hiding and provided no protection, allowed serious harm to befall me and my son, encouraged and disseminated false accusations that I'm paranoid schitzophrenic to cover the scope of what's been done to me, ignored my repeated requests for FOIA and other documents and records I have a right due, allowed constant vandalisms and robberies to go uninvestigated, put ME under surveillance and defamed me through church groups that hated me, used members of a church to act within the justice system and government on behalf of their church, illegally taken my son from me and lied that I caused my son's damages, refused to take me up on my offer to give a psych eval for several years until I was slandered enough they were sure they could get something negative against me, lied that I was drug seeking when I wasn't and came up with a false positive drug test when I never used the drug, attempted to conceal serious damages to me and my son from childbirth and claim I was delusional and didn't have pain from it, refused to abide by rules of civil procedure in dependency case involving my son, refused to investigate obstruction of justice by the FBI and Portland police and claimed I was mentally ill as their alibi. Refused to investigate constant harassment and vandalisms done to me when I had witness statements from people in my neighborhood, and refused to properly investigate an attempted rape when I submitted to DNA swab and photos (where the photos taken of me went missing and disappeared, and the DNA was never submitted to the lab for analysis).

I went up the chain of command to get someone to handle these things, and no one did anything. Someone always got ahead of me and disputed what I said, or ignored me.

I have more than enough proof that this country has violated my civil rights and my parental rights, and has endangered my life and the life of my son and allowed people in government positions to retailiate against me and punish me for reporting misconduct and crimes by those in white collar positions. I was repeatedly told to quit writing, quit protesting, and given citations when I was peacefully and legally sitting in a chair with protest signs, in a legal space. I had a church, the Catholic church, use it's members, or some of its members, to do their church favors by harassing me and using the system against me, under color of law. My right to free speech was violated and my right to fight defamation was violated.

If there is a person from another country who will sponsor me and believe in me and my son, I need your help now. I cannot lose my son, but this is going to happen very soon, if I do not get financial help. I am not exaggerating or making this up. I've requested CDs to prove some of my claims so I can upload this onto the computer, and the Judge and Douglas county have stalled so I can't do it in time to secure support for my claims, before they terminate my parental rights.

I still do not have a copy of my case file, after repeated requests to former P.D.s.

I am motivated by one thing, to hold these people accountable and get my son back. I am capable of showing the entire world what the U.S. justice system is really like, and to expose the hypocrisy. I have tried, for 10 years, to get help within my country and I am now desperate to find support from outside of this country.

I may not be whatever religion you are, and this may be a problem for getting support from some country's or people, but I am not trying to get people to convert to my spiritual views either. I just want to be me, and you can be you. All I ask for, is a chance to fight these people with money and resources.

If no one comes to my assistance, the worst I have done is humiliated myself. I am willing to be humiliated, and to beg and plead for a fair chance to clear my name and get my son back. It will cost money though. I don't have to ever touch the money. It doesn't need to touch my hands, and can go directly to a lawyer. I am not a scam artist and anyone can verify all these things have really happened to me. I am not trying to get rich at this point--I don't have time to become rich on my own merit. I do have something to offer though, and I know I am more honest than any automaker getting a "bailout". I am certain I will be able to get on my feet and pay you back in some way, and do something noteworthy to make your country proud. If you need an English teacher, I'll be an English teacher. If you have a king who needs someone to sing him to sleep at night, I am able to sing anyone to sleep. I can make people laugh, and motivate them, and I am able to start my own business. I am a quick thinker and learn fast and I'm good at uncovering the truth and doing detective work. I enjoy working with men and women and have found I usually have the respect of those I work with. I am skilled at putting natural wildflower and creative bouquets together and making artistic flower arrangements from everything from mosses to branches, to different tree foliage and bushes to flowers and rocks. I can sing night after night and pick up the spirits of either those in a club or those at a retirement home and would do either one cheerfully.

I am good at organizing and assembling others for various things including volunteer work and I enjoy meeting lots of new people from a variety of backgrounds. I would actually probably be good at intelligence work, in some capacity, but do not wish to work for the U.S. after what has been done to me and my son and their failure to respond to my emergency. I would be very good at doing research and checking information and investigating in some kind of capacity. People often share things with me they won't tell others, and they feel safe talking to me, but I would be best, probably, at investigating matter and analysing information. I could never be a "spy" because my face is already known and I'm infamous. But there are other things I could do for another country, which I'd be very good at. I had been planning to go to law school after getting my degree, but I do not believe it will be possible for me to complete my education here in this country and I would rather get my papers and stamp from another country. I would still be interested, possibly, in going to law school, if it was helpful in my career.

I do not require much to be happy and productive. I have high energy levels and would most like to have enough peace in my life and my son with me, to be able to work on writing some books. I feel I could make the greatest impact for any country, through my writing and actually organizing enough to write books. Because of the circumstances I'm faced with here, it is impossible for me to focus for any length of time, on a project, because I'm constantly harassed and traumatized by one thing after the other. If I had my son with me and was out of the U.S. and the harassment, I believe I would surprise quite a few people, with the things that I can do. I know for a fact, that I would be able to write novels and non-fiction as well.

I am most happy in positions where I can use my mind and social interactions too. I am an extrovert and like being with others most, but I am also very happy to be completely alone, and need time to myself to recharge. I get charged by large groups and have fun, but I need my private time too and don't feel awkward being alone.

I'm not the best singer in the world, and some like my voice better than others, but I am able to sing people to sleep and soothe babies and children with my voice, and I am able to sing for adults to their appreciation. It is easy for me to improvise and harmonize though I am a perfectionist at practice. I like to know something inside and out and then let it fly.

I am willing to serve in a military, if required, in return for providing financial means for fighting this case involving my son. It means that much to me, and I've already asked, in vain, for help from people in my country and I am now asking for help from someone outside of my country. I will leave a short statement with a few of your embassies in the next week, but if I haven't thought of you, and you are thinking of me, I would ask you to please let me know. I could be happy in a number of other countries.

I don't care what country I live in. I will give my loyalty to the one that cares the most about me and my son and is willing to show they care, through their offer of financial assistance. I don't care if you are an enemy of the U.S. or a "hostile" country, or a neutral country, or if you are a friendly or allied country. I am looking for a country that will be safe for me and my son and will provide protection and respect my rights in a way those within this country never have.

I don't want to leave without my son. I want to prove, to many people, how WRONG, this entire case has been and to demand, through FOIA, records from the FBI to be produced to show what's been going on and how things were covered up. I need money to get records to show the medical professionals in Wenatchee covered up damages to me and my son, and I would like to get further diagnostics to prove what my injuries are. I want to hold the bullies accountable for withholding evidence and trashing my name and attempting to escape investigation and charges by claims that I'm mentally ill in a way I'm not, but I do believe I can show intentional infliction of emotional distress. I want validation of what has happened and that it was not "in my head" or delusional, and I want my character witnesses to come forward, and the neighbors who witnessed all the vandalisms to my property to come forward.

I feel I should have a fair chance to show how many people have been involved in trying to trash me and punish me by taking my son, and I want to hold CPS accountable for what they've done, to stall and disrupt the bond between me and my son. It is also the only way I will be able to prove motive for the taking of my son and attempt to frame me as being mentally ill in a way that would benefit those I've reported for committing crime or misconduct.

I want my name cleared, and I want my son back, on my terms, and those who should be held accountable, held accountable. Since the U.S. cannot handle it's own affairs properly, and since my case and helping my son is obviously too big of a job for them to handle, or one they just want to push under the rug, I want someone else to stand for me, and to force them to obey and abide by their own laws.

Like I said, my loyalty is not bought. My loyalty goes to the country that proves it cares about my human and civil rights. Supposedly, as a U.S. citizen, the country I should owe loyalty to, is the U.S. and yet this country has done nothing to correct the wrongs that have been done. It has done nothing to stand for me or for the law. Therefore, I cannot blindly give my loyalty and allegiance to a country that allows other citizens to bully me, intimidate me, and harm me and my son. I cannot give my loyalty to a country that defames me and withholds evidence from me, and sends out more employees to try to cause further harm, which tolerates date rape and sexual assault and fraud and coercion, telling someone they're being considered for employment with the FBI. My loyalty, and the loyalty of anyone for that matter, should not go to a country of birth, if that country allows this person to be abused and does nothing about it. Loyalty should follow after the country that protects the rights of its citizens.

This country has allowed others to abuse and torment me and did NOTHING to either stop it, and even refused to investigate when I reported things which there was evidence for. This is sick, and the fact that my son is just taken from me in response, is proof I have been persecuted and that no one seeks to make amends, and proves, as members of the government have been involved, that I am not safe in this country and that these persons wish to harm me further by taking my son from me.

I don't care what country it is that I give my loyalty to...The one that takes me under its wing is the one I will give allegiance to, for giving me and my son a fucking chance.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cameo,
You do not know me, I wish we did know each other though. We have however met, you came into my place of employment a number of times, I was never the one to help you but I was there. I would tell you more but I don't know if anyone from my work reads your blog, you truly touched my heart back then, you came across as a wonderful mom with a huge heart that just needed a someone to take her seriously.

Since I "met" you I have been reading your blog and I am sorry that everything has gotten so out of control! there is one thing that I am having a very hard time with though, why are you not doing what ever CPS wants just to get your son back? I understand why you moved to DC but I really hope that you come back and do what ever it take to get that little guy back before it is to late and you lise him forever. Sure there may be more to all of this like you say, but we are talking about your son there is no goverment or principle that should be able to take him away from you. go the what ever doctors they want you to, go to treatment if that is what they want, they get your son back and run run run, at that point you can go anywhere that you please, go to a forgein country if you want just go start a new life with a fresh start. just do what they want you to do!

I pray for you every night and maybe some day our paths will cross again and we will be able to become friends!

Mama said...

thank you, this was a really sweet and sincere post and probably the first one i've received that wasn't vindictive or haughty in some way.

what strikes me though, is that while you say i seemed to be a wonderful mom (and you're right, i really am, and I've been a good nanny too, though I think I'm an even better mother), is that I just had a conversation with my mother when I was in the hospital just recently, just last ER trip, and she too, said she knew i was a wonderful mom.

everyone knew i was and am a wonderful mom. I had compliments all the time, and anyone who saw me with my son, knew how bonded we were. my own family has NEVER disputed that i am an excellent mother, better than most or all of them, and they know it.

what is completely misplaced, is that this has NEVER been about me and my son or about our relationship and whether I'm a good mother and if i have good parenting skills. No one in my life has ever questioned my parenting skills. what this comes down to, is ADULTS who don't like me and still don't and my own parents don't understand that having conflicts with adults, because I CHOOSE to be open and honest about wrongdoing and illegal activity, is not a reason to take a child away.

I had ADULTS try to claim I have mental illness which "endangers" my child, which is BS when everyone knew my son was never harmed by me and was never in danger of being harmed. what these people didn't like, is the fact that I REPORTED them. they couldn't handle this, and the fact that I called attention to THEIR MISTAKES, including medical mistakes and refusal of standard of care.

So they chose to say I was drug seeking because they wanted to cover up the fact they had damaged my body so that I actually NEEDED pain killers. I didn't and never have, taken pain killer for "fun" or any other reason than for pain.
then they also claimed I was mentally ill, to say i was 'delusional" and didn't really have pain from the birth trauma they caused and from migraine.

They didn't get away with it, and I thought they never would, until I and my son were, literally, targeted by a magnetic pulse and that is no joke and i'm not mentally ill either. It happened, and every single symptom I, my son, and our CAT, displayed, lines up exactly with this and it happened concurrently with real computer hacking and phone problems and other electrical problems. I didn't make it up, I was told the only thing that could cause all these things, was EMF or radiation and I thought maybe it was two different things at first, because I didn't know, but then I did more research and found out, every single thing lines up with EMF overexposure and very severe levels at that. It triggered seizures in me, and when I went to ER, begging them to do an MRI of my head to prove it, THEY REFUSED, so when they refuse, how can they PROVE it WASN'T, when every single symptom fits. Even if a psychologist tried to claim I had a mental illness, they cannot claim this is exact or true without RULING out a differential, which would be real and true seizure.

So this whole thing is screwed up, and there are plenty of people with authority positions who KNOW it, and they do nothing about it.

I have the right to evidence before trial, on top of everthing else, and this has been refused me. The very basic rights to civil procedure have been denied, and why would these people and a GOVERNMENT agency get away with this unless there are enough people in the govenrment who are complicit in this entire thing?

It's totally illegal to withhold evidence, and there are plenty of people in the FBI who know this, and who have had the mark of a GOOD conscience, a "guilty" conscience, who have come forward to admit wrongdoing in the way a case was handled. You have to respect the rules of law, because they are there for a reason.

They have been completely ignored in my case, solely because all of these people know I don't have money to challenge them. It shouldn't even take money. I've made enough valid complaints and enough people could check the record, the audio CDs and find out if what I say is true. I've started posting all my email requests to the state online as well. It's not like I haven't tried. I've been the one to try to work with them while they stall and try to delay and figure out new ways to prejudice my case.

It's illegal and wrong. Going back to Wenatchee to one of their "psychologists" could very well set me up to NEVER see the return of my son to me, because I have already seen how CPS and the state has lied, and how this Judge has gone along with them. Even the supposed "PDs". If they lie in the same pattern they've been lying, they will continue and get someone to lie and claim I have a mental illness that I don't have, which will prevent me from getting my son back.

they know exactly what is wrong with me. they knew ahead of time that I had mild PTSD from real trauma, and who could argue I don't have some kind of 'adjustment disorder" and haven't had panic attacks and difficulty sleeping because of what they've done with my son? But that is natural. What THEY want to claim, is that I have a mental illness which is bad enough to let a lot people I've reported for wrongdoing off the hook, who are currently getting away with crime, and this will jeopardize my getting custody of my son.

the only way this way will be cleared, is if someone comes forward, to the right people, who bring it to the forefront and refuse to hide or conceal the information, or if I come into enough money to file a lawsuit against6 the government and the workers and individuals who have directly conspired together to deprive me of my rights.

It's not normal that I was refused discovery from the state before hearings, every single hearing, including the last one, where I didn't receive anything from CASA or anyone else ahead of time. I was refused a copy of my case file, which I needed and had a right to, especially since the judge said I had to be "pro se" wihtout giving me notice, sufficient notice. Evidence was withheld from the defense which was crucial to my own defense and for pointing to bad faith and motive for those "reporting" me and writing things they did into my medical charts. I can shoot down every single one of those phony charts where I'm claimed to be saying things I never said, and I also had a right to enough time to prove what I say is true, and gather my witnesses, to confirm the magnetic theory was likely, and is a trigger of seizure which fits my symptoms and is something i was predisposed to.

I asked my parents, or, my mother, about this, and she won't even hear it. It's too "complicated" for her and she chooses to believe lies the state tells her. Which isn't saying much when my own parents can't even remember what their own promises to me were and make excuses for backing out that don't add up.

If you have questions, as you rightfully should, it should be why I wasn't given even the most basic tools with which to provide for my own defense when I was FORCED to go pro se when I didn't want to, and when I can prove conflict of interest with both PDs and that they stalled on my case and refused, themselves to enter evidence that SUPPORTED ME into the file. MY OWN PD, Paul Cassel, refused to enter a note from a doctor, written on my behalf, into the file, and THIS is even "withholding evidence" and yet it was done by my OWN so-called counsel.

That's a serious problem.

Tell me something. Do I sound mentally ill to you when I'm writing this and describing these things, or do I sound to you, like a person who is articulate and coherent enough to understand, analyse, and relay the facts?

I am telling you the truth and while I have permitted myself to lie specifically for the purpose of uncovering the truth, in subterfuge, to get the truth when other's are lying, I am not lying about this.

For myself, I only condone or allow myself to lie for very specific reasons: 1. to protect an innocent person (ex. hiding someone with a disability from the nazi's and lying about their whereabouts), or 2. as a means to an end of uncovering the truth when it is impossible to be gotten another way (ex. lying in order to get better access to the truth and then admit to the lying). I do NOT condone or allow myself to lie to COVER MYSELF or to hide faults.

Look at all of the faults I have admitted, in myself, on my blog, to the whole world. If anyone can confess to having faults, wouldn't you think I could? don't you think, if I can talk about all the things I've talked about, and admitted to, that I would be brave enough to reveal all? of course I would be, and have been.

But I do not admit to things I've not done, or make confessions to being something I am not. I wouldn't do it in the past, and I will not do it now.

I am true to me, and true to the truth, and to my son.

There are people who desperately wish to hide their crimes with an alibi that there is something wrong with me which they know isn't true and yet they still hope. Then there are others who go along and refuse to treat me wiht the respect they would give any other person, because they know who is better able to butter their toast and put bread on their table. Some people choose the truth, and others just choose "number one"--themselves.